Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

But he knows what's on it. What does he propose to do while the sleazy shite is going on? Or is he intending to bail early, before it all starts?

He needs to explore the abuse and exploitation in the sex trade, and ask himself if he's prepared to be party to it. Even if he only goes to the club and buys overpriced drinks, he's still supporting it imo.

Me too.
I’m old and actually realised that no man in my life, from my grandfather onwards has been a good role model for me.
Sad and pathetic

Haha, he’s got scared and already changed his tune.

So it wasn’t that the other best man was concerned about the cost of living after all? How did that suddenly change into 7 single blokes, plus presumably the other best man, are all sex tourists and proud? Very strange indeed.

Fucking lying bastards. They’re all at it. Your DP included. They’ll be annoyed his fucked up here and he’s got some real damage limitation to do.

The calibre of these friends is shocking.
Wtf are you doing with your life, living with a man like this?

I agree with you other than he could be so dumb as to not know he's sending on a price list of what sex acts they can have. There's no way he doesn't know what he's sending. There's no way he wouldn't question what that is. If he had morals, he'd refuse to send it. He wouldn't lie about it otherwise.

He is ok with his buddies using trafficked women for sex, and unprotected sex at that, so high risk behaviour. These guys could infect their partners and if they're pregnant, it can seriously affect the baby or worse.

I would be circulating among the other wives and girlfriends so they are all aware!

I came to this conclusion this week too.

I have been on here for 20+ years now always felt uncomfortable and depressed about the attitudes towards men. But weirdly, it has all turned out to be true. I ttry to cling to the NAMALT theory but the reality is MostMALT

No, he's just spreading it.

You know, like manure.

but I trust DP until he gives me reasons not to

I said to him when I saw the list that I’ve never known a stag do to be ‘costed’ and that seems overly thoughtful for a group of men. His response was the best man is mindful it’s a cost of living crisis and he doesn’t want people to lose out when exchanging left over funds. I think the real reason is now clear!

Well, that’s one lie already.

If he had no idea what the list meant, surely he’d have said that to you? Rather than making up some bollocks about cost of living 🤔

No. But he’s feigned ignorance about it and pretended he doesn’t understand the code, or even see that bit…
Wake up OP

"another couple he knows are regulars in Thailand and make no secret of what they get upto."
Only two? Oh that's all right then...

He's also indirectly saying that its OK to go on a trip with single "lads" who intend buying services from sex workers.

So it looks like only your DH and the Groom will be abstaining from this wonderful experience then. Does that sound plausible? What is the point of them being on this trip anyway then? How does your DH envisage this working? Will he and the Groom sit in the club drinking diet cokes and looking the other way?

If that's the case, why are they both involved in it anyway. The Groom could have said, this isn't the kind of stag do I wanted... They could be doing some sport based weekend or paintballing or something if all they wanted was a get together with a lot of drinking. But he hasn't.

You could for example look up the venues suggested on the email... for more insight into what's planned.

Have you emailed the other WAGs yet? I would.

Some comments from men - interesting. Think we should listen though as it’s men that have been on these events. Grim though they are I always think insight is good if replies are truthful. I am completely anti all of this- strongly, but I do think that on stag nights it is possible to have a range of levels of participation. That said. I wouldn’t trust your DH necessarily OP. All sounds well dodgy and you do sound rather naive I’m afraid to say.

Reality check OP, look at your first post.

How many people onthis thread have overlooked the costs section? None.

And your DP wants you to believe that he received a message about the weekend plans and costings to sign off on (even though he doesnt know him well) but he somehow missed that whole section? And now he's seen it, rather than saying, "oi, Steve, what's an MP, OWO?" DP is going to go straight to the groom to warn him about a load of acronyms his girlfriend has heard rumours about on mumsnet and ask him to talk to the other best man? Really???

The 'author' is clearly not getting enough credit for taking account of the cost of living crisis.

[misses entire point of the thread]

Also agree it is most men sadly

@WestlieJ

I get that you think your guy is “one of the good ones” because he says he won’t participate, but he really isn’t.

This sort of behaviour amongst men will not stop because women don’t like it. It will only stop when their male friends shun them for it. Your partner should be telling the groom what is going on and pulling out of the trip because he doesn’t want to associate with men who will pay trafficked women for sex and sexual favours. It is rape.

My partner left a stag weekend after the first night, along with quite a few of the friends he was with because a small group of the men went out and got prostitutes. The stag was furious, my partner and was furious, and 7 if the others were furious. They booked flights and came home. It was absolutely not their scene, and they don’t tolerate it. My partner also had a friend of over 20 years who he now hasn’t spoken to for 18 months because he found out the guy was flying in to glasgow (he lives on one of the islands) regularly to use prostitutes and cheat on his wife. So, he cut him off.

My partner has a very strong moral code when it comes to treatment of women. A lot of good men do, and they won’t tolerate this behaviour and they won’t leave their wives and girlfriends worrying that they were involved or doing anything. They could have all stayed at that stag weekend and just ignored the idiots carrying on. But they didn’t want to do that to their partners at home, and they didn’t want to look like they were condoning the behaviour.

Your partner made a wagatha joke. Well done:

OP, you are being a mug and sooner or later the reality of who your DP is will smack you in the face. Anyone worth being with would not be involved in this seedy trip.

Alternatively, had the guilty parties been prepared ...

SC S'mores & Campfire Entry for evening marshmallow roasting.
Ent Entry Fee General admission to the park grounds.
PD Paddleboard Day Full-day rental of a premium paddleboard.
MP Mini-Putt 18 holes of championship-grade miniature golf.
HR Hiking Ranger A guided 1-hour nature walk with a certified ranger.
OWO Outdoor Wildlife Observation Access to the restricted bird-watching sanctuary.
PM, SO Picnic Meal, Sunset Option A catered picnic basket with a late-stay pass.
FS Full Sail A private 2-hour sailing lesson on the lake.

Only those with unclean minds would think differently.

Your DP may not know these men now, hut he knows who they are, is going to spend a long weekend with them and they will become his friends.

'Your partner made a wagatha joke. Well done'

Yeah it doesn't really go with the 'he knew I could access this message on the cloud' delusion does it?

He didn't know you had access op, you found out. He is backtracking and making crap up about the naughty single lads.

He should pull out of this grim sex tourist trip. If you accept this do not marry him or have kids, it is who he is.

I’d have to tell him ‘thank you for taking this so seriously and for planning to highlight that revolting list to the groom. I will pass it on to the ladies for transparency too.’

👏👏👏

To be fair then, those prices aren’t bad.