AIBU to say no when my nearly 6-year-old wants ballet flats?

[HannahW2768]

Hello dont know if chose correct topic but am I wrong/unreasonable for this?
My son who is almost 6 years old was with me when I went into clarks to buy myself some work shoes the other day and he really really liked the pair of ballet flats I got and said he wants a pair like them for himself
I told him no as these are for girls and people may not like him wearing them but was that wrong to do and should I have said yes and got him similar pair in his size?

So if the same 6 year old boy wanted to go to a friend's birthday party wearing ballet flats & a tutu people think thats ok. Call me what you like but my son wouldn't be leaving the house dressed like that.

Okay.

Yeah i kinda regret my reasons I said no to them and mostly said them as was panicking and rushed it but wouldn't want him growing up thinking that might be for girls so he can't have it

This is the first time he has ever taken an interest in anything fashion that wasn't a Halloween costume

But they wreck girls' feet too. Does that matter less? It used to really puzzle me that boys had sturdy shoes in winter but girls trailed into school with freezing soaking wet feet from their horrible uniform-approved ballet flats.

And this is why you have to tread carefully op. Some parties it would be absolutely not out of the ordinary for a boy to be wearing those shoes and others, the parents running it and possibly some of the children there would be a lot more, for want of a better word, 'traditional'.

Oh no! I'm outdated! 😱😂

I will, thanks.

Yes, that's cos it's often used a fetish or for making fun of women.

but look at eg Rupaul or Jeffre Star, they look wonderful and not weird at all, because, for them, they just love the clothes for real

Bring him with you though to choose - you never know he might have changed his mind already 😂

The next time my DH is shopping for a new suit for work I'll say to him how about a dress. I can imagine his reaction. 😂

Well ballet flats aren’t great for any six year old to attend school in or to do anything that involves running around in. I’d explain that rather than start with all the “not for boys, people will disapprove” nonsense.
maybe get him a cheap pair that he can wear around the house/have as part of his dressing up box if he chooses. He just wants to be like his mum at the moment, please don’t try to turn this into something bigger.

fo you buy him dresses?

In other words, boys shoes are foot-shaped, unlike most girls/womens' shoes

right?! Seems some people have not evolved from 1993

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading

Pffft.

intersting though that that comment was what came out of your mouth when you were flustered and rushed........

No I don't think it would make him gay or trans & I see nothing wrong in either if thats how they are. I wouldn't encourage a boy to attend a party in a a tutu & ballet flats any more than I'd like to go on a night out with my husband wearing a dress. This idea of children getting a thought in their heads & everything being acceptable is what's wrong. Children need guidance in all aspects of life including their choice of clothing. Playing dress up in the house is different to how they present themselves in general at such a young age. I also believe there are parents who actively encourage eg the tutu idea for their sons just for attention & to create controversy.

it's a completely normal reaction, this sort of thing has been ingrained into us from childhood. it takes more thoughts to get out of it.

How do they differ?

YABU for saying no on the grounds he's a boy.

But they are crap for growing feet and I wouldn't buy them for a child of either sex

I bought a pair of girls trainers for my son before. He really wanted glittery shoes, they were in shades of blue and green as well as sparkly so I felt they looked fine. They were well made and practical for climbing and running and playing though. I avoid ballet flats for my daughter unless its dress up/ a party so I would discourage my son on the basis they limit kids from having fun.

It’d be a firm no from me. Unless they’re for ballet, such flats are terrible for anyone’s feet. However if he’d like ballet lessons, he can have a pair for the purpose.