Page 5 | Ex disputing CMS and making rival Child Benefit claim in 50/50 care

Tableforjoan · 22/03/2026 17:17

I’d imagine on their joint incomes the children are in private school. So again I’d imagine is paying at least half of that.

scoobydeedoo · 22/03/2026 17:19

I don't understand how you would be eligible to claim Child maintenance if it's a true 50/50 arrangement. Did you sacrifice your career while your kids were young so he could progress?

hahahaaa · 22/03/2026 17:23

You’ve really screwed yourself here

Laura95167 · 22/03/2026 17:33

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 14:34

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5340011-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads-part-2?postsby=ProlongedAffair read this about someone in circs so similar its uncanny. By @prolongedaffair

CMS will find you primary carer if you get Child Benefit. If you have 50:50 your partner has grounds for a rival CB claim, and likely will get awarded the elder of your sons which will mean his CMS appeal will likely be upheld.

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https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5340011-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads-part-2?postsby=ProlongedAffair

Laura95167 · 22/03/2026 17:38

YerMotherWasAHamster · 22/03/2026 14:42

I thought no child support was payable if the arrangement was 50/50.

CMS accepts if someone has the CHild Benefit they're the main parent.. however if theyre 50:50 OPs ex can make a rival claim and will likely get one child.

He can get the claim and decline payments (or pay it back in tax)

And if they have one each OP isnt entitled ro CMS

Original poster

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

OP posts:

Laura95167 · 22/03/2026 17:40

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 14:34

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

So you do 50:50 & Ex offered to pay all shared costs but you went via CMS because you want MORE money?

YABVU

Mooselooseinmyhoose · 22/03/2026 17:42

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

As the other poster was told A LOT but didnt accept.. CMS will award it even if its not due because it works on brackets. It says in small on the website on pure 50/50 cms is not owed.

He WILL be awarded one child benefit if it is pure 50/50.

My advice would be read the other thread and its not too late to offer to drop the claim if he returns the child benefit to you.

Strictly1 · 22/03/2026 17:42

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

This is not a good look. You got 70% of assets - so already looked after but you want more. Greedy.

Tableforjoan · 22/03/2026 17:43

They benefit when they are with him. You got 70% of assets. He does 50/50. You are being greedy. It’s your job to provide extras on your time.

AirborneElephant · 22/03/2026 17:46

OP, please look at the previous thread. You are not going to win this in the way you want. You look like the poorer parent because you ARE the poorer parent, you earn less than him and it’s no longer his responsibility to equalise that.

The most likely outcome if care stays 50:50 and while there are two eligible children is that he gets child benefit for one child, and he then claims child maintenance off you for that child. You keep child benefit for the other, and can claim CMS for that child. So you may still end up slightly benefiting, but not by much and at the risk of completely destroying your coparenting relationship. And like the other poster, you may well end up alienating both children instead and losing them completely.

Velumental · 22/03/2026 17:46

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

,you ARE the poorer parent. You earn less than he does. That's just reality. Beyond your children benefiting while he's with them, if he has them 50% of the time then they benefit from his salary half he time your salary the other half.

I'm always on the side of maintenance being paid but YOU don't need to benefit from his salary. You should be living your life as a woman whose earns 60k. Not as a woman in a relationship with someone wealthy because you aren't.

Tableforjoan · 22/03/2026 17:46

Cms also doesn’t deal with wages of his size normally so will of just awarded you based on two child benefit and not looked further.

Once he gets awarded one child and he will and they dig deeper once he then proves one resident and one 50/50 which is how it will look when you both have one child Ben. They will close the claim and you will owe him back.

JustAnotherWhinger · 22/03/2026 17:48

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

CMS use the blunt tool of having CB = entitled to CM.

He’s obviously now realised it’s not actually as simple as that if he disagrees and there are ways to mitigate in these circumstances.

If he takes it back to court (which as a high earner he can) your previous agreement could be put back in place.

If he has 50/50 then he’ll be awarded one of the CB and you’ll owe him maintenance for that child unless you both agree on no payments.

dadtoateen · 22/03/2026 17:48

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 14:34

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

If it’s 50/50 share why should he have to pay anything? Doesn’t matter what his earnings are.

dadtoateen · 22/03/2026 17:50

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

You came out with 70% of assets and half his pension and you want more??

wow, feel sorry for the poor bugger….

apart from ‘cause he earns more’ why do you think you deserve more money?

Laura95167 · 22/03/2026 17:51

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

You are the poorer parent
You already have 70% of the assets and half his pension and were getting both Child Benefit amounts AND you want more of his money?!?!
He offered to pay all shared Child expenses
CMS will find you the primary parent if you get Child Benefit for the children. If he makes a rival claim it will likely end up 1 child each.
He can claim Child Benefit and opt out of payments. They wont give it to you based on whether or not hed take the money
Youre being entitled and making a mistake

NotMajorTom · 22/03/2026 17:51

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Either you’ve jumped the shark with your reverse, or you really are that greedy…

JustAnotherWhinger · 22/03/2026 17:53

Actually just realise that quite a lot of this post is exactly the same as the last one.

right down to the “it’s 50/50 but I do more”

Scarlettpixie · 22/03/2026 17:54

Flipping heck, you got 70% of assets and half his pension and you do 50/50 and pay half of everything, you were getting the CB and you want him to pay you CMS too? Wow.

I don’t blame him for fighting back. Be careful this doesn’t bite you on the ass. It sounds like you’ve had a decent co parenting relationship up to now and it would be a shame to ruin that.

You are the poorer parent, that’s just factual but you might have done better by asking for extra money or rather for him to pay specifically for extra activities your kids want to do but you’d struggle to contribute to. That said, you are hardly on the breadline.

misscarlar · 22/03/2026 17:56

I have the same custody arrangement of a week on week, week off with an almost 13 year old
If my ex was earning nearly 3 times more than me he would definitely pay more for things like tech and high cost activities
Would I go after him for CM when we have the same parenting costs absolutely not.

I think at the moment I earn more than him and I can't image him doing it to me either.

mindutopia · 22/03/2026 17:57

Dh makes 2-3x what I make. Even if we parented 50/50, there is no way I could provide the standard of living he could if I was solo parenting. He would be gladly handing over £800 a month. In fact, he provides at least that now. I think where this went wrong was you didn’t have a conversation about it first. It’s a bit spiteful just to lodge a claim, even though I think, yes, he should be rightfully paying it.

BennyHenny · 22/03/2026 17:57

NotMajorTom · 22/03/2026 17:51

Either you’ve jumped the shark with your reverse, or you really are that greedy…

Show quote history

Yeah totally this, my money is on the former as it’s just ticking a few too many of the goady stuff that gets posters piling on to the OP!

Nottodaythankyou123 · 22/03/2026 17:59

fixatedplanet · 22/03/2026 17:38

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Ok but you are the poorer parent? That’s just life. My parents split when I was a teen, one retained more assets and pension in the divorce but the other had a significantly higher income, so more holidays / experiences with them. That’s just life and we were incredibly grateful for anything from either parent but the biggest gift was having relatively amicable co-parents. Don’t squander that - your kids will benefit far more from that than you destroying it so you can take them on equivalent holidays.

TheGirlWhoLived · 22/03/2026 17:59

Wow you are making a huge mistake, you earn less money- why would you now be entitled to his money?! The kids will if they share with him. If you force this you absolutely will be worse off- there’s no other option. You will lose the child benefit, you may also lose more, there’s literally nothing to gain