Should inheritance always be split equally amount children?

[Purpleturtle45]

Should you always split inheritance equally between children or should you adjust it according to their individual circumstances like their income and whether they will get inheritance from their in-laws etc?

YANBU-equally is the only fair way
YANBU-take circumstances into account and adjust accordingly

Equally and if one child is doing the majority of caring, you should pay them for their time at the time! much as you don't know what the future holds for your children, you don't know what the future holds for your capital.

Equal, unless there is significant disability that requires, for example, residential care. Something that means that the parent will be supporting that child right up until the paren’s death.

I think it should be split equally

Ours is 15/15/15/15/40 the bigger amount is for my autistic child and the other four children all know about it and gave up 5% each the make sure she had more... But yeah, equally and shouldn't take their incomes into account.

I think whoever did most of the caregiving (if any) should be compensated a bit more in inheritance, especially if they had to cut back working or life was limited in some way while the others just continued as normal

Generally I would say equally but all circumstances are different. There may be one child whom you have given considerable assistance to over the years financially and you want to redress the balance on death. Equally there may be one child who is very comfortable so you may wish to leave a sum to a grandchild. There is no cut and dried, one fits all response but as long as you explain, either before or after death in the form of a letter, then your family should understand.

I think it depends on circumstances.

Normally equally, but there are sometimes good reasons why this isn’t the case. I don’t think it’s possible to make a hard and fast rule.

Equally. We all had the same upbringing/chances and its up to us what we made of our lives.

however if there was disability i think we’d all agree and equal split might not be fairest.

Equally, always.

Still should be shared equally.

I did more to help my parents as I lived locally.
But I still felt strongly my siblings should get the same as me, I didn't want any extra. We were all their children.

Equally to the children. They can do a deed of variation to their dc/the grandchildren if they wish and dependingnon circumstances. We will, because we have enough.

DH does the caring, his sisters live abroad and have for decades. They rarely visit. DH is v v successful; his sisters aren't. Still equal.

I think the exception is if a child is so disabled they cannot live independently and need carers. The cost of their care is covered by benefits, as it should be. If they are bqueathed, say, £250,000. The benefits will stop until there is just £23k left. The healthy sibling commits to taking over from their mum. In those circs I think it should all go to the healthy sibling.

Unless there’s a huge discrepancy sure as one is a billionaire and the other is in poverty yes split equally

My best friend's Dsis is in a private rental, with a high needs disabled DD. She had to leave her good paying job to be a full-time carer to her DD. Her partner works part-time only, because their DD needs so much support. My BF's parents are leaving the family home to their financially precarious DD, and my BF will inherit a lump sum (which is still a lot of money, but not as much as the house). Her sis will probably sell the house she inherits, buy something smaller and have money for her DD's future care needs. My friend is OK with this - her niece has ongoing needs, and the future is otherwise looking very precarious for her sister.

I think insisting on parity, by arguing that because parents love their children 'the same' this love must be reflected equally to the penny, is just not appropriate is situations like this.

Equally under ALL circumstances

Equal Equal Equal.

Equally if you want to ensure there is no fall out, if not equally then I think an explanation/rationale should be given e.g my daughter P will have 20% more as she lives locally & helps me with x & y.

Equally.

I agree. Also, what happens if both sets of parents/in-laws are very wealthy and they both decide not to leave anything to their adult child on the assumption that they'll get loads from the other side?!

I'd rather my brother got more has he has poor health and more money prolong his life and quality of life. He would rather I get more because I have 3 children.
My parents will split it between us. We have told them to spend what they can while alive rather than trying to pass on wealth.

Equal always.. even if one child has life long needs and other sibling doesn’t.

What if the other is in poverty because they and their dp are bone idle and neither have ever had a full time job?

We will leave our children the same amount each regardless of income or any other inheritance. If there was any disability and care needs, we may have done it differently, but that would have been discussed with our other child and I’d expect them to understand that.

Usually equal but there are reasons to deviate

Yes, this. Same with marriage, too: they could have married somebody extremely wealthy who subsequently divorces them and uses their ruthless, expensive solicitors to screw them right over.

You may have a very successful business and a lovely lifestyle, but what happens if it suddenly goes under and you lose everything or even end up heavily in debt as a direct result?

I don't want to be a doomsayer, but I do wonder how many currently successful and highly-paid people are going to lose everything in the next few years, once AI comes in and renders them and their livelihoods completely obsolete.

My DS has been choosing his options and he told us that he'd been bearing this in mind: that some choices that lead naturally into certain careers - particularly in computing - could be the first to completely disappear as jobs for humans by the time he's old enough to join the workplace. I wish we could tell him not to be so silly and worry about nothing; but sadly, I don't think he is.

I think you need to explain why but leave it considering their circumstances. My PIL have already discussed why they are dividing things up the way they are - basically they are ensuring the kids that haven’t a hope of buying a house have a place to live. And I think that makes sense and there will be no ill will.