Should inheritance always be split equally amount children?

[Purpleturtle45]

Should you always split inheritance equally between children or should you adjust it according to their individual circumstances like their income and whether they will get inheritance from their in-laws etc?

YANBU-equally is the only fair way
YANBU-take circumstances into account and adjust accordingly

I’m sorry to hear that, it must be very difficult.

Equally (although DB owes my parents money, so their wills stipulate that his share of their estate is reduced by the outstanding debt so he doesn't get it twice).

I think that unless you have been disowned by one of your children, then equal shares are wisest.

This won't happen. Wealthy people are that way because they are mostly ruthless. Take my relative. Hugely wealthy as married a wealthy man. Her MIL is unwell and having surgery she might not survive. I can't see them handing over their share of the inheritance to her DH's struggling siblings. It's pocket change to them, not even the cost of their annual 'main' holiday but change siblings lives. It'll just get absorbed to increase their wealth.

Equally. Definitely. My fil still alive,has signed his house over to my sil. It's upset my husband no end. He's very hurt. Fil reason was that I will have my mum's inheritance to come(my mum is still alive thankfully)🙄😡Like that excuses his reasoning.

Equally, because this is fair. I always think this is one of those questions that has a quick answer and doesn’t lend itself to overthinking. If you’re not convinced and have the time then do a search on here to read some really sad stories when inheritances haven’t been spilt equally amongst siblings.

You should take circumstances in to account but 50/50 should be the default imo.

My grandparents had three children. One was disabled and lived with them his whole life until they died, and after that had significant care needs. He cannot work.

Neither of his siblings who were healthy and successful begrudged him being left their parents' house. Everything else was split three ways.

Inlaws should absolutely not be a consideration. Everything should be shared equally UNLESS one child has needs which means that they need lifelong care in which case provision for that should be made in the first instance

I've ticked equally, although - it's equally over a lifetime. DS1&2 are likely to have more uni costs as they'll want to do a masters.

I was wondering about the care thing.

What if there was a sibling who lived near the parents and looked in on them every day, helped them with paperwork and computer stuff etc, and another sibling who lived further away and visited twice a year? Should the first one get more? I'm interested in what everyone thinks.

Equally

This is my PIL’s will. However BIL got his money about twenty years ago and due to inflation and property values he is way better off than just subtracting the $ from his share. It was their decision and their money but I kind of roll my eyes when they reassure the rest that it is equal. (I am separated so it isn’t about me being grabby, just adding a perspective).

It is really unfair to reduce inheritance based on what you assume someone will get from the in laws - the in laws might be making the same assumption about you!

Equally. Whether one is a poor single mum and the other holidays 4 times a year is irrelevant.

We do t have children so have willed everything to one nephew on my partners side. I have a nephew and a niece I have never met, and the nephew we are leaving everything to has a brother. So, I say no. You choose who gets what.

Equal.

You never know what’s around the corner, and whether the in-laws are leaving all their money to the Cat Protection league.

Just to add, the only exception to this is leaving money to grandchildren. Each grandchild should have the same amount. However, if one family has eleven children, and another has one, the only-child family shouldn’t get ten thousand more. Each parent should receive the same, and each grandchild the same.

This is the situation with us. We had to relocate to a much cheaper area almost 4 hours away. Should my husband be penalised because of this? He was told about the will long before we relocated anyway.

This happened to me. I felt I wasn’t loved. It was never about the money, but I have never recovered from
realising I wasn’t loved.

I think it most circumstances it should be equal, and in cases where it isn't, the child being "left out" should be consulted and informed. Dh's parents have written us out of their will, he has two brothers who constantly struggle financially where we've got a paid off house, savings, decent pensions etc in place. I think, partially, they've done it to protect us, they support his brothers financially at the minute and are worried that burden will pass to us when they are no longer here. So hoping a larger lump sum for each of them will put them on a more solid footing and stop them coming to us for help instead. But they didn't just make the change and then inform us, they approached us to find out how we'd feel about it first. If we'd been unhappy about it they wouldn't have done it.

This. My db is wealthier than me, but has always worked incredibly hard and he absolutely deserves to be wealthier ! Our parents divided everything equally . Only fair way.

Split evenly. Even my mum, who hadn't seen her son for 30 years wanted him to be treated equally, much to my dads annoyance who would've written him out.

How children have fared in their adulthood with jobs, money and circumstances have little to do with inheriting from family imo unless a sibling gave up their careers and lives to look after an elderly parent instead of going into a home.

Equally. Whilst you may think one child has more than enough you dont actually know the truth your children could be just not telling you the real situation

I intend to split my will between my three children who are varying in different ages however they are my children. I love them equally they are going to get the same amount and they can do what they choose with it.

Equally. I do most of the caring for my parents. My brother will inherit essentially a mansion from his in laws. They still love us both equally and I don't expect any favours for it. I would hate to have to be left to pick up the pieces from shows of favouritism from my parents.

Yep, it can rip families apart otherwise.