Please help family and rent

[limeandwater]

Lurker of ten years plus, and looking for some anonymous and honest feedback.

Approx 5 years ago sister split from husband. On the surface they lived a very nice life, but long story short her ex had mortgaged everything against his business and they lost the lot and were left with nothing.

My husband and I are fortunate enough to have a number of properties. We let her and her two kids stay in one of our houses and used words to the affect "it's yours rent free for as long as you need it."

She met a man approx two years ago who we like and is good to her and the kids and 3 months ago she asked if he could move in. We said yes - but presumed rent would follow.

To give you some non specific info the man in question earns approx 60k per year and rents out the flat he was living in for £1600pcm which I imagine would more than cover his mortgage. They live a nice life if that matters. Holidays, meals out, etc.

We are in South East and the 3 bed house she lives in would rent at approx £2800 per month. My husband thinks its cheeky that no offer of rent has been made. He doesn't want or expect market value - and in fact would probably only want about half.

I agree with him, it's a bit cheeky, but then think back to our wording 5 years ago.

My husband is a lovely man and never gets angry, but last Sunday we went out for Sunday lunch and we split the bill. I could tell tell he was annoyed and asked him what was wrong - and he stated "he lives rent free in our property, he could have got lunch."

Who is right and what do we do?

I think just tell her now she and her dp are stable and she has a reasonable income herself you’d like her to pay rent. Then say as little as possible because she’s likely to feel blindsided and embarrassed. Fwiw I have been in a similar situation with family (though about providing holiday accommodation not living accommodation). It must be sorted before dh really resents them though.

Yes, have the conversation. It doesn't matter that you don't 'need' the money - you could use it to invest in other things but it's actually the principle of it really. She and her new DP are CFs to expect to be kept in a free house, especially when he has his own home that they could have lived in together.

I'd say something along the lines of 'It's great to see you a DP now settled in the house. We wanted to talk to you now about agreeing some kind of rental moving forwards. The market value is around £3k a month but DH and I were thinking around £1.5k? Have a chat with DP and let me know what you think.'

Leave it with her. YADNBU.

Blimey.
You have let them live rent free in a one of your properties assuming rent would follow.
Of course charging rent makes you a landlord with all the required legals that go with that these days.

You need to find out your legal responsibilities to the property and perhaps to them. From health and safety checks, to insurance. Council tax. Presently you are the owner.
You need to find out what rights they may have or could acquire to the property by living in it rent free for a number of years.
What you cannot do is retain legal ownership but think there would be no impact by not formally being a landlord/lady. But I suspect you know this.

I am going to put it differently. Look at it from DSIS point of view. You are rich, you have lots of properties. You must be raking it in.. therefore she feels 'entitled' as your sister to be allowed to live in one of those many properties.

After all you are family!

You havent said anything even when she moved her latest boyfriend in so from HER point of view all is fine. If it wasnt you would have said something by now.

You can afford it so what is the issue?

I havent picked up from the thread but does she work?

That's why I have arranged to meet today.

As much as I love my sister, my husband and I have never let issues fester and he has to be and rightly is my priority.

Who is paying the bills like CT. Are they in your name? Please dont say you are paying all of this too?

She works 3 days per week.

Bills paid for by them, save Buildings Insurance.

You said as long as she needs, she no longer needs a free house. Between them they have enough resources. It's not your job to provide charity to them. Tell them you now either need market rate off them or you need them to leave so you can get it back running as a buisness.

Can't believe they wouldn't treat you to lunch when you are providing them a free home. They all take

My sister would never dream of doing this and not would I to her. The man is taking the piss too but your arrangement was with her originally so I’d start there. I think you’re very fair to be upset that she’s thrived on your hospitality - to the extent of moving in her new boyfriend - and I’d suggest you now give her notice to move on with her life.

And to not even pay for lunch?! Awful, I’d be very upset.

You told her she could stay as long as she liked rent free and now she feels entitled enough to move a partner in and not pay rent. You made assumptions that when she moved this dude in, they'd start paying you for rent but you never directly asked. Lady, she thinks of that as her house now.

Communicate. Tell them it's time to pay rent. You've subsidized her life for 5 years now and you and your husband are losing money. They're taking you for a couple of suckers.

I'm not surprised your husband is getting resentful. You're letting your sister, her kids, and now a boyfriend live off you and that's depriving your family of money that should be coming in.

You can’t have it both ways though. You want to be different with family but you want the protection that the law gives landlords.

All very messy. No fault evictions come in May 2026. Left it a bit late really. They are not arguably even formal tenants . As you are not a formal landlord. With any corresponding legal requirements and paperwork in situ. Oh dear.

No I don't think that's true.

What? The law gives far more obligations than protections to landlords. The OP will be paying for a number of things out of pocket to fall within the law.

I am not worried about that, we know about RRB hence why we have issued a number of section 21's of late.

My sister is my best friend, this isn't going to get legal in a million years.

Just tell them you need to let the house to someone else. Give them a generous amount of notice, maybe 3 - 6 months. Keep it friendly and don't feel bad, it is your property after all.

Are you sure there isn’t some legal requirement for your sister to at least pay a peppercorn rent to keep things above board?

Ive never been a landlord but I have a memory of discussions about letting family members live in houses they don’t own and paying no rent at all. There’s protocols to do with insurance requirements and obviously council tax, whether your sister is in receipt of benefits etc etc. if she has an accident in the house might you be held responsible? Have you had all the necessary checks to do with electricity etc and if so there’s a cost to you What happens if something integral needs replacing? There’s a leak or roof tiles fly off. Are you paying for those repairs or is she?

This is my long winded way of saying that legally it would make sense for her to become a rent paying tenant with an actual contract. It protects both of you and if that needs to be said to make sure they pay you rent then so be it.

I didn’t say that landlords don’t have obligations did I?

You yourself say it’s different with family . Legally it’s not

Nobody is entitled to their siblings wealth. Perhaps OP worked hard for the properties she owned, or perhaps it's OP's husband that brought that asset into the marriage. Whatever the reason OP's sister has no right to indefinite free use of this proprerty.

She's lived rent free for years and is in a stable relationship with a decent earner, time to move out and find their own place. Or start paying rent.

I wasn't referencing any legal requirements, just that emotionally talking about money with family is different.

You are being taken for a ride.

It was very kind to help your sister out, but this is next level taking the piss. The freeloader, couldn’t even buy you lunch, and a conversation regarding rent should have taken place before he moved in. Unbelievable that he didn’t raise it. Any decent person would have.
Time to have the conversation.

Does your mortgage lender know she has been living there rent free ? If not you have contravened your mortgage if you have one.
You can allow someone to live in your property rent free but without paperwork as a landlord is not good practice at all. But you are familiar with rental and know this. I am sure you would definitely not want this to turn legal. Your sister and her boyfriend of two years now might see it differently.

No mortgage.

Property is our business.

We know exactly what we are doing, with the exception of this property it seems!