AIBU to be livid at kitchen fitter for pissing all over my bathroom like a bloody tomcat?

[MurkyMo]

AIBU to be absolutely livid that my kitchen fitter pisses all over the toilet and the floor every time he uses the facilities. He must have a "sprinkle-cock" Fireman Sam would be proud of. And not only that, he flushes without putting down the lid of the toilet so aerosols of his piss float through the air coating the immediate area around the loo. Every time he goes in there my whole body tenses and I have to go in after him to mop up the worst of what's on the floor so it doesn't get traipsed through the house. I have carpet ! ! ! ! ! And I know I'll be scrubbing away as soon as he leaves this evening.

My BP is up and it's only day 2 ! Oh god I could swing for him!!!

😆
If the OP can’t bear to tell him he’s pissed everywhere sh isn’t going to be able to ask him to give it a ‘dry shake’ after unfurling it 😆

OP you have my sympathy, when we had building works done we let them use our outside toilet (ex council house with toilet still in the garden) instead of having to get in a portaloo.
I left bleach in there, wipes etc and used to clean it at the end of each day, let’s just say I was glad it was outside! I’ve got a pretty strong stomach and a Mum of boys so apart from muttering a lot I didn’t unleash the temper because it was not inside.
My boys get an ear bashing every time I discover wee on the floor… they all deny it’s them, so we have a phantom pee’er who accompanies us on holiday as well as stays with us at home 🥴
They are banned from using my bathroom, I begrudgingly let DH use it but not a chance that the phantom pee’er will get a chance to appear in that room!

Get some disposable nappy changing pads or incontinence pads and put them all round the toilet on the floor. You can get a big bag of them from Amazon for under a tenner. (I buy them to go under my dog beds as they get sweaty otherwise with the lining underneath). If he doesn't get that hint, he's past helping.

I noticed that there was an unpleasant smell at the base of our downstairs toilet (no carpet) however hard and often I cleaned so bought a couple of pedestal mats and they have been some of the best purchases ever. I generally change one for the other once a week but if I notice that one is getting a bit whiffy, I can wash it and swap it for the other. Pedestal mats may seem as grannyish as the doll in the crinoline dress over the spare toilet roll and, no, l don't have one of those, but they are very practical.
As for the problem of sprinkling all over the seat - disgusting - could you get your husband to mention it to him?

Better to think of your Granny's house than have to clean up more pee though.

Maybe just put down plastic sheeting like builders use.

When he asks to go, say, oh just a second, and get out a specially purchased pedestal mat and old towels with a tinkly laugh. Do it every time he asks until it gets it into his skull.

Throw them away when he's gone.

Might make the point.

Not all trade are like this. I must admit I have been very lucky with ours.

I can’t hold my thoughts in, so it would get blurted out really loudly when I was cleaning his mess up. “Who the fuck keeps pissing all over the seat, it’s disgusting” obviously you might want to tone it down depending on your personality. 😂 If it didn’t work then I’d tell him outright.

I agree pedestal mats are foul. But what an unkind thing to do to a man with an already shaky grip on reality. What was he supposed to think had happened to it?

Yes I did think that when I wrote it. As a bloke myself I just don't understand how people can have such disregard for other peoples properties . I used to fit doors for clients and always left their loos at least as clean as they were. When we had " tradies" doing some work on our own house there was no internal loo fitted at the time but there was an outside loo in the garden . I told the guys they were welcome to use it but would need to chuck a bucket of water down the pan after they had finished as the water wasn't connected. Asking later ,when they had finished the job, if they were ok using the outside facilities one guy said he didn't bother and just went behind the bush ...the ' bush' being at the front of the house next to a main road ! Jeez ! Some people are animals !!

But plastic sheeting won’t cut it alone if they’re pissing over the back of the toilet as well as over the floor. If it gets in the holes where the seat screws in, the whole seat will have to come off for a proper clean or that male piss stench will develop. I genuinely think they do it on purpose in a woman’s house. I remember a poster on here who had a tradesman wipe his bum on her hand towel… such a gap in the market for woman tradies!

I have never come across this issue. I’m amazed at how many people say their dp or ds do it.
I don’t think you can do anything op other than being direct. How a grown adult can piss on the floor and not clean it up - especially in a clients house- is beyond me.

If it's really that bad I'd actually say something akin to "you appear to piss everywhere when you use my loo. I don't know if you have waterworks problems but please can you sit down to pee? Thank you."
He should be so embarrassed he will do as you say.

I’ve have actually said something before to a repeat offender. I wasn’t rude, just neutral and asked him to clean it up, which he did without issue. This was after a few times of doing it and then I thought, this is grim, I don’t want to clean his pee and why am I paying this man AND cleaning up after him(!) so I said something.

If you can't bring yourself to tell him to just f'ing well piss in the hole, then I think the idea of a notice would be good.

My DD's house has piss all over the cloakroom tiles from her boys. I would not let it pass if it were me. Even as teenagers I would put a little duck sticker in the loo for them to aim at.

,'Training' your husband to sit to pee????

Totally unreasonable and OTT

On construction project teams, I used to tell clients that the real milestones in actual progress on site are not the sod-cutting and topping-out ceremonies. They are the watertight date and the day the 'No urinating' signs go up.

It's a shame your toilet is out of order all of a sudden @MurkyMo

Put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the door.

If I tried to do that to DH, he would say 'OK Zov, let's teach YOU to pee standing up!' (Actually that might be quite a handy thing to learn!)

Long story short, he wouldn't do it, but then he doesn't pee all over the bathroom either. (He does get the odd tiny splash on the toilet seat though when he goes in the middle of the night, (occasionally,) but I can't complain, at least he puts the toilet seat down.)

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Sneak a look at the make of builders wipes he uses. Many of them do an antibacterial version. Put a pack of those in the loo. He may recognise them and use them instinctively (since he can't use higher reasoning). Or if you've enough front, give them to him and say these are for you to clean up when you go to the toilet.

They are only foul if not washed regularly. Otherwise, they are a hygienic answer to a very common problem.

He’ll just reply to that with, “it’s ok, I use the floor anyway”.

😂

It's gross but I think you're right not to say anything. Shame makes people react emotionally and the last thing you want is him walking off the job half way through.

He's "washing" his hands alright but it's that old trick of just wetting them and then wiping them on the towel. So I have the added splashes of dirty water on the wall by the towel too. And of course a manky towel. I've deliberately left him that one to use, I have a separate one for me!

Luckily it's just a small job and he'll be gone tomorrow. Otherwise I'd have to try the any chance you could actually get some of your piss in the bowl Jim approach!

Oh sweet Jesus 😨