"Not all men” replies are ridiculous

[GarlicFound]

Generalisations exist for a reason. There's no need to point out that there are exceptions. When you want to highlight that your comment's universal, you say "All children", for instance. Generalising to "Children" implies "Children in general, for the most part, usually".

Everybody knows this. So there's no need to specify "NOT ALL MEN" each and every time anyone makes a general observation about men, goddamit!

You don't say "Not all dogs [have four legs]" or "Not all ice-cream [is cold]".

Having a penis doesn't make you especially vulnerable to generalisations. So grow up, please, and accept that YOU or your DH are not "all men" - general comments aren't intended to single you out. And if you feel like they are, you're a bit thick, not to mention narcissistic.

Better to direct that energy into teaching him how to treat women with respect and proving the statement rather than bleating it to people who’ve told you it’s reductive because we KNOW it’s not all of them

That doesn't mean all winter days are freezing or that all summer days are hot. But it's a generalisation that gets you through the year without finding yourself in the middle of winter wearing a sundress outside
I don't understand this! I don't wear a coat because it's winter. I wear a coat on the basis of the temperature outside. If there was a sudden hitwave and it was 30 degrees in December, yes, I'd wear a dress, not go on a walk with a heavy coat because it's December. Would you?

And no one has ever said that either
When it is implied that men's experiences or feelings don't matter, that's exactly what it is.

Men’s feelings are not the most important thing in the world. They’ve been socialised into believing this but it’s not true.
id rather have hurt feelings than be raped. How can you compare the two???

Better to direct that energy into teaching him how to treat women with respect and proving the statement rather than bleating it to people who’ve told you it’s reductive because we KNOW it’s not all of them
Why the assumption the poster hasn't done so? Oh wait, generalisations 😁 I didnt have to teach my child to treat women with respect. I taught him to treat everyone with respect.

Men’s feelings are not the most important thing in the world. They’ve been socialised into believing this but it’s not true.i d rather have hurt feelings than be raped. How can you compare the two???
So you think that by making generalisations that all men can be rapists, treat than individually as potential rapists, when there is only 1 chance in many thousands that is the case and you are in danger, it is worth ignoring how the other many thousands feel because they don't matter? And you think that doing so the number of rapists is likely to go down in the future?

yes. This is much safer when walking alone at night. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t.

Spot on.

Why have you assumed I assumed she hasn’t? I didn’t say she hadn’t. I told her something she could do instead to be an ally to equality.

Also while I’m on my soapbox - why are men’s feelings more important than my feelings? What about my right to avoid them? To free speech? They’ll argue for their rights in a heart beat but when yours affect theirs they’ll pretend there’s no issue.

Well fortunately for you, it's never going to be the future, is it? Even if enough women wanted it to be, we don't have the power to oppress men and never will. God knows, it's hard enough work to gain equality, never mind superiority. So really, don't lose sleep on that score.
As for 'young men are feeling powerless', are they really? How do we know this? How many feel this way? Is it justified? And if so, what is the cause of it? Because its ironic on a thread about generalisation that you're prepared to drop such a whopper.
I'm fully on board with the idea SOME young men feel powerless. Disadvantaged young men from underprivileged backgrounds. Men from certain ethnic groups. Young men with disabilities. Young men who are exploited by bosses and landlords or who can't get a start in life at all because their background is a barrier. But in none of these cases is their lack of power due to them being men (as oppose to being poor, or their ethnicity, or uneducated or disabled). And in none of these cases is it caused by women.
If men are feeling powerless its because other men have more power than them and oppress them. Not because women do.

Can you give some examples of things the young men you feel sorry for would like to say but are scared to for fear of judgement?

Im struggling to think of what kind of thing you mean.

I've done that since he was a toddler, I've taught him to respect everyone regardless of gender depending on how they treat him. I will continue to say not all men

@Passaggressfedup

Actually you said something very true and actually very important.

"So you think that by making generalisations that all men can be rapists, treat them individually as potential rapists"

All men are potential rapists, that is true.
Women have a 1 in 4 chance of this happening to them in their lifetime. How would they know which ones might rape them it could literally be any man.

"there is only 1 chance in many thousands that is the case and you are in danger"

That’s a chance women try to safe guard themsleves against because they don’t know which man might potentially rape them.

"is (it) worth ignoring how the other many thousands (of men) feel (who don’t rape) because they don't matter"

That’s not our concern when discussing the dangers of men as a sex class. Especially as women have to change their behaviour to accommodate the fact that the male sex class poses a threat to all women (and men).

For example
Women having to get a taxi home when women might prefer to walk.
Or only running on dedicated well lit paths to avoid dark parkland.
Or being told not to wear earphones so you are more aware of your surroundings when walking home at night.
Or not getting into a carriage on a train if there is only a man in there
Or having to put up with lewd remarks and harassment on the street and keep your head down to avoid an angry response should you dare to respond o the unwanted remarks.
Or buying specific covers to cover your drink whilst out because of date rape drugs
Or checking the toilet for camera equipment due to men concealing them to video women in the toilets (this is on the increase)
Or putting keys in between your fingers on your way home late a night
Or going to a festival and worrying about needle spiking with date rape drugs
Or trying to be heard in a meetings at work because you are a female and aren’t taken as seriously as your male counterpart
Or Not having the freedoms to travel to certain countries around the world because it isn’t safe for female solo travellers
Or being sent dick pics when you are at school
Or being followed and harassed on the streets by middle aged men as soon as you turn 13
Or commenting on forums online only to have men send rape threats at you simply because your sex class is female.

739,000 are raped or sexually asaulted each year
That's 1 in 30 women. So, probably at least one woman you know was raped or sexually assaulted in the last 12 months.
*This figure is for the year ending March 2025.

SPOT ON!! This thick and narcissistic mindset has been created by the internet. They knew it would create division and unrest and that’s exactly what’s happened. I deleted FB during Covid bcus it became even worse and friends tell me it’s still awful. Full of people ranting, raving, toxic comments to goad others. It’s like the go to place to be a troll and make ridiculous statements.

Then you’re acting in self interest and your view isn’t worth counting.

Neither is yours

No not all men are potential rapists. My own father gets very distressed when he hears about rape, as does my adult son and brother. Your views are quite frankly outrageous.

That.

Talking about 'children' in the same way is a false equivalence. Children do all have something in common, which is universal and part of their development. Saying 'babies are dependent on adults' or 'toddlers find it difficult to share' isn't at all comparable with the generalisations made about men, about boomers, about Muslims, or whatever group is being generalised about (almost always negatively).

We would rightly jump on any men saying 'women are (insert negative trait)'

You know your family members - I don't. If I came across them as total strangers, how would I know their views and attitudes?

We know that NAMALT. But we don't know which men we come across Are Like That and which aren't.

And you will continue to be called a male apologist because by saying that you’re not engaging with the issue of male violence. You’re dismissing harmful behaviour with your lived experience and giving abusive men a pass.

The same can be said for woman. I don't know what different woman are like but I'm not going to judge them at first glance. Why are people doing this to men? Why are they doing it to young men like my son who are innocent? Would you like this if they where doing it to young woman? Let's reverse this? I bet you wouldn't like it

Look I don’t know how to break it to you but you can make non harmful generalisations about marginalised groups
eg. Muslims celebrate ramadan
black people experience racism.

we don’t need to put NOT ALL X at the end because guess what… we know it’s not all x.

a lot of harmful generalisations can be easily rebuked (eg Islamophobia or racism) with facts. You cannot do that with sexism. Across the globe, no matter the race, religion, whatever, men harm women sexually and physically.

To a woman all men are potential rapists.

How would we know.

I'm not giving anyone a pass, that includes abusive men and woman . I'm not dismissing harmfull behaviour, far from it . I'm saying you carnt say all men because it's not true. There are innocent men and you are saying they are all guilty. Well shame on you