To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

[NotWinstonChurchill]

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

15! year old daughter (NT) has become increasingly fussy with regards to vegetables. And it's got to the point where she will eat some things in some dishes, but not in others. For example:

Cucumbers - these have to have the centers removed, but has no problem eating them grated in tzatiki, or sliced and prepared (without being deseeded) in fancy Japanese dishes.
Tomatoes - will eat with seeds removed, or will eat whole when cooked down to nothing. Cherry toms will not eat, unless on pizzas or bruschetta, but will not eat in roasted vegetable melee.
Mushrooms - eats large Portobello mushrooms, or chopped up very small but has started picking out bits of mushroom from dishes. But will eat on pizza.
Peppers - will only eat green peppers, unless it's on a pizza or in chilli. But that can change at the drop of a hat as the other day decided that cooked green peppers were no longer the acceptable.
Courgettes - will eat grated in pasta dishes, or cooked with feta as fritters, but will not eat sliced and cooked.

I could go on. You get the idea.

I believe that everyone has some 'get out of jail free' cards when it comes to foods. I don't like forcing foods on people if they genuinely don't like them (I hated mushrooms and parsnips as a child). But this chopping and changing depending on a whim has pissed me right off. It fucks up my meal planning, makes extra work, wastes money and is just ridiculous.

Today I stood my ground. We've had tears, we've had tantrums, we've had threats of pocket money withdrawal permanently. I put one piece of steamed courgette on the plate and insisted she could not get down until it was eaten.

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

Was I unreasonable?

I can't believe what I've just read, is this for real? if it is I feel very sorry for that poor girl . Many many years ago my father forced me to eat a pear, to this day the very thought of them makes me heave. He "won" that battle but this was just one of very many domineering and power play games he went in for and I grew to truly dislike him

Were you given a medal and a round of applause?

I never made my kids eat a food and I never made eating a battleground. What the heck is wrong with you?

And who the hell wants to eat steamed courgette!!

You were absolutely 💯 right. I agree some foods people dislike but that was a power battle. We made everyone eat slightly sour salad one day because they kids left it for newer bags; and we all had some. Yuk. But salad was properly finished before opening new ones after that. I batten down hatches now....

Telling a 15 year old she can't get down till she's eaten a piece of courgette is completely fucking barmy! (It would be wrong even if she was five in my book).

do you feel better for having 'won'? Despite wasting half an hour of precious time and energy.

in three years she'll be an adult and can eat what the hell she wants. Just CHILL OUT!

YABVU
She is of an age she can turn down medical interventions. Yet here you are celebrating sneaking a piece of courgette down her.
What is it you want here?

Our rule is you have to try it and if you won’t eat it you don’t get anything else. Generally my kids pick out the stuff they don’t like. We do serve things that generally won’t be a problem though, and I do insist on green vegetables being eaten (but make sure there is stuff that won’t cause issues like broccoli or beans).

In your case I would be saying she can start prepping her own meals.

I have a two year old daughter who is very much the same so I can sympathise. It’s likely to be an attempt to try to control something in circumstances where your daughter probably doesn’t have much control over anything else in her life. Or it could be a cry for attention. Either way, your approach tonight is unlikely to have helped improve things (I do say this from a place of sympathy because I acutely know how maddening it is to have them eat something one day and not the next). I now try to go by the mantra ‘it’s my responsibility to offer good food, it’s your responsibility to eat it’. I’ve found the less pressure and fuss I put on the situation, the more she eats. I know you’re getting flamed in the comments but I hope you’ll be able
to reflect on this and find a better way to deal with the situation because it doesn’t seem like there’s any winners here in the longer term.

I’m hoping it’s not for real or is a reverse about something OP’s mother did to her or something. Who in this day and age would ever do this with a toddler, let alone a teenager?

who steams courgette

My husband was forced to remain at the table until he had eaten a bowl of raspberries as a small child. He was there for a very long time. Now aged 54, my husband is the least fussy eater you could ever meet. He’ll eat anything - anything - except raspberries.

You have lost . She will hate them forever she is almost a grown woman, not a toddler. Best ignore these fads, she’ll grow out of it or maybe she won’t but there’s far worse things that could happen.

very unreasonable!

i love courgettes buts wouldn’t ever eat them steamed!

you will make her fussy eating worse!

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

What the fuck do you think you won?

And it’s so predictable.

I was forced (physically forced, mouth prised opened then held shut) to eat boiled carrots once as a child. I was about 9. Funnily enough, even the thought of the texture and smell of boiled carrots makes me feel like gagging. So weird that it didn’t install a love of carrots…

You damaged your daughter s trust ..

15 months right?

Ridiculous. Shes practically an adult. Youll ruin your relationship and her relationship with food.

Jeez. Poor kid.

Yes.
My mother forced me to eat the fat on meat when I was nine and I threw up my dinner shortly after as I found it so disgusting. I've never eaten the fat on any meat since then - makes me gag every time.

That was a stupid battle to fight.

I find the “by god I won” comment disturbing - I’ve had a fussy eater but I’d never thought of it as winning or losing. I’d seriously be taking a lot of these comments on board.

YABVU... I love veg, but hate courgettes 😝.
But being serious you went OTT. My son is funny with veg/fruit that has seeds in It fir somd reason but I've never forced him to eat it. He's adult now do can make his own mind up.

Force feeding a child under duress is abuse.

Wow ! you are a bitch.

At least in 3 years time - when she is an adult ,she can choose never to eat a cucumber, courgette, mushroom or tomato again - ever in her life.

This