To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

[NotWinstonChurchill]

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

15! year old daughter (NT) has become increasingly fussy with regards to vegetables. And it's got to the point where she will eat some things in some dishes, but not in others. For example:

Cucumbers - these have to have the centers removed, but has no problem eating them grated in tzatiki, or sliced and prepared (without being deseeded) in fancy Japanese dishes.
Tomatoes - will eat with seeds removed, or will eat whole when cooked down to nothing. Cherry toms will not eat, unless on pizzas or bruschetta, but will not eat in roasted vegetable melee.
Mushrooms - eats large Portobello mushrooms, or chopped up very small but has started picking out bits of mushroom from dishes. But will eat on pizza.
Peppers - will only eat green peppers, unless it's on a pizza or in chilli. But that can change at the drop of a hat as the other day decided that cooked green peppers were no longer the acceptable.
Courgettes - will eat grated in pasta dishes, or cooked with feta as fritters, but will not eat sliced and cooked.

I could go on. You get the idea.

I believe that everyone has some 'get out of jail free' cards when it comes to foods. I don't like forcing foods on people if they genuinely don't like them (I hated mushrooms and parsnips as a child). But this chopping and changing depending on a whim has pissed me right off. It fucks up my meal planning, makes extra work, wastes money and is just ridiculous.

Today I stood my ground. We've had tears, we've had tantrums, we've had threats of pocket money withdrawal permanently. I put one piece of steamed courgette on the plate and insisted she could not get down until it was eaten.

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

Was I unreasonable?

She is 15, not 5. You are being unreasonable.

I can see where you’re coming from. I’d never make my kids eat something I know they hated, but when they’ve eaten it perfectly happily for ages and then suddenly decide they don’t like it; I’m having no truck with that. Just serve your meals, obviously avoiding anything she hates, and be done with it. If she doesn’t eat it she gets nowt else, you may have to hide the snacks!

I do agree it’s not worth the effort of forcing them to eat though, it serves no purpose. Definitely won’t have damaged your relationship though as potentially floated by other posters. My mum made me sit for 2 hours when I was little to eat some Blancmange …. spoiler alert, I didn’t, my dad snuck in and ate it for me. I love my mum dearly and see her daily, I truly don’t hate her for it!

This! Steamed courgette ends up soft and bendy. Worse with no seasoning or flavour.

YABVVU OP!

You just forced someone to do something they didn't want to do, you're quite twisted, and it must have been very humiliating for your daughter.

You were unreasonable and sound like a bit of a knob. Cook the meals and if she wants to avoid certain veg or pick things out then what’s your problem?

You won, wow you sound vile!

Yes.
Happy you are not my mother, neither will you ever be. And that's something.

But she does eat them- just not in slimy form you wanted her too. I don’t think it’ll make her go ‘no contact’ but at 15 would you want to eat something you don’t like.

Sorry, didn't mean to quote the poster above.

"I won"... you sound triumphant - over your own daughter.
Nobody won.

I have not RTFT so apologies if this has been said but STEAMED courgette? I like courgettes but steamed? No, no way

I lived on pizza as a teenager and wouldn't eat vegetables. I'm still alive and now eat a healthy diet. I just think you shouldn't force someone to eat something they don't want to, it doesn't create a positive relationship with food in my view so YABU

You won???? That’s horrendous. Food should not be a battle, especially with teenage girls.

what do you think your prize will be?

I would be cooking a meal and dishing it up for everyone and not encouraging this

Why? What exactly do you think you’ve won? I think you need to take a serious look at your priorities tbh.

Read back through your post and imagine your DP wrote it about you, still think it’s acceptable to do this just because she pissed you off?

Of all the battles to pick with a teenager, a courgette (or any vegetable) was never top of my list (or even on my list at all for that matter)

You 'won'? So your daughter 'lost'. I bet she's feeling great about that. That's a exactly how you want a teenage girl to feel around food, like someone who lost

I lose track of which kid won't eat what. It's up to them to eat or leave.

I can't eat round carrots..I just can't do it. Luckily, dh doesn't force me to sit at the table until I eat them.

Just tell her there will be a family meal prepared which she can eat or not, but the alternative is she makes herself some pasta. Works for us. DD1 and DSS2 eat a lot of pasta but that’s up to them.

Depends, do you want to put her off vegetables for life?

maybe cut into matchsticks, soak in batter and fry, much nicer than steamed.

Steamed courgette, the thought makes me bowk. And I LOVE cougettes

You are being an arse. She eats a better range of veg than I did at here age. So what if she changes her mind. Her tastebuds are developing.

Is this really a hill you want to die on? Oh, and well done for ‘winning’ 🤔

Seriously? How ridiculous. You need to give your head a bloody good wobble (even though everyone on MN hates that phrase).

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You did what?!? At 15 that is ridiculous! I may have said no dessert if you don’t eat your mains to the kids when they were young, but a teen?

I don’t particularly like mushrooms in a dish like a stroganoff or in a cooked breakfast, but love them on pizza. Is that ok?

If my young adults aren’t keen on dinner they can pick out what veg they don’t like or make something alternative for themselves. I obviously know their food preferences but occasionally they will throw a curveball.

What exactly is it that you think you have "won". Sure you taught your daughter that someone with more power than her can force her to do something she doesn't want to. Is this really a good thing to teach to your daughter? does she not have bodily autonomy?
If you keep this up there is a good chance of her developing an eating disorder, of course not from this one incident but she will eventually discover that she cannot be made to eat!

Well done, you won. Now she’ll love courgette.