To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

[NotWinstonChurchill]

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

15! year old daughter (NT) has become increasingly fussy with regards to vegetables. And it's got to the point where she will eat some things in some dishes, but not in others. For example:

Cucumbers - these have to have the centers removed, but has no problem eating them grated in tzatiki, or sliced and prepared (without being deseeded) in fancy Japanese dishes.
Tomatoes - will eat with seeds removed, or will eat whole when cooked down to nothing. Cherry toms will not eat, unless on pizzas or bruschetta, but will not eat in roasted vegetable melee.
Mushrooms - eats large Portobello mushrooms, or chopped up very small but has started picking out bits of mushroom from dishes. But will eat on pizza.
Peppers - will only eat green peppers, unless it's on a pizza or in chilli. But that can change at the drop of a hat as the other day decided that cooked green peppers were no longer the acceptable.
Courgettes - will eat grated in pasta dishes, or cooked with feta as fritters, but will not eat sliced and cooked.

I could go on. You get the idea.

I believe that everyone has some 'get out of jail free' cards when it comes to foods. I don't like forcing foods on people if they genuinely don't like them (I hated mushrooms and parsnips as a child). But this chopping and changing depending on a whim has pissed me right off. It fucks up my meal planning, makes extra work, wastes money and is just ridiculous.

Today I stood my ground. We've had tears, we've had tantrums, we've had threats of pocket money withdrawal permanently. I put one piece of steamed courgette on the plate and insisted she could not get down until it was eaten.

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

Was I unreasonable?

Exactly this, I posted earlier on this thread about being forced to eat a pear ( I must have been about 7 I think) and have never touched one since. To this day i can recall the repulsive taste and gritty texture. I have had meals out and seen friends have a poached pear for pudding and like you, just looking at it made me want to gag.

Probably down from being seated at the table - one of those ancient customs where families used to sit together, eat, and share the day.

If it was a food that she genuinely detested then fine but no, you are not being unreasonable if her likes and dislikes change like the weather. She should actually be happy you took the time to prepare a meal. Our daughter did that with parsley. If it was in a meal at home, she would dissect the food to remove every trace. Go out to a restaurant and she’d happily eat even if it was covered in parsley.

I’m fairly harsh but some of you sound like 1970s parents. Fair enough not to offer an alternative but if you want your child to hide things, lie to you and hate you, this is the way

You are feeling happy now? I still remember the times my parents left me to sit alone at the table until I finished my food whilst I was in complete hysterics because I really did not want it. It did not accomplish anything besides me looking back at it "wtf were they thinking"

Me too - I was about 5 and I still remember how I felt

Oh honestly I could have written this! Why do people care souch about what I put in my mouth!! It honestly takes me back to my childhood and makes me feel like I have to defend myself. People are ridiculous

You’re insane. I think people are sick when they get into these food power struggles with young children but a teenager?! You forced a teenager to eat something and feel you “won”. I would get help with your control issues. Not surprising she is neurotic with food.

On the plus side, I’m sure the OP won’t have to worry about it for too long as her DD will be leaving home as soon as she is able.

Eat meals that are prepared and if they are going to leave good food which is going to waste then they can do without. The price of food now which is going to become more extensive and not eat it is an utter disgrace.
In the UK we have benefited from food subsidies and is cheaper and better quality than it is in other countries.
However reality will hit shortly with the war in Middle East and the need to boost defence spending urgently- so having a princess teenager picking and rejecting good food means she eats what is in front of her or she eats nothing.

Eat this or nothing would be preferable to being bullied by her own mother.

Of course you’re not unreasonable, if you want to make the situation 100
times worse

Maybe this is regional then, we'd say get up from the table if talking about a teenager. Getting down sounds like being taken down from a high chair.

When I was a child we ate what we were given or went without . We were poor so mum couldn’t give us something else instead . We were never forced or coerced to eat something we didn’t like . I would just say to your daughter , eat it or do without .

I think your daughter has been messing you about and lording it over you with her food likings.

She did it because she could get away with it.

I doubt if eating a small piece of courgette ever killed anyone.

She needs to grow up.

Good job she wasn't at school in the fifties and sixties when children were made to eat everything and leave a clean plate. Think horrible kidneys, liver and fatty meat stews.

What did you win??? This is insane behaviour from you. Your DD sounds like she’s well on the way to an eating disorder, and you are helping her get there.

That wasn’t a win in the sense of anything to be proud of.

It’s one thing encouraging to try it and another to do what you did, which pushed the boundary into being coercive.

yabu at any age but I cannot imagine a world where my teens are not allowed to leave the table. Don’t cook separately but let her pick things out if she doesn’t like them.
fwiw all my family refuse courgette

There are no winners when it comes to courgette.

I remember being younger than a teen and my dad made me eat a sprout, I had to sit in tears while he sat at the table with me till I ate it. My mum stepped in and said you cant make her eat it, I'm sure I nibbled at it just to move but the 5 minutes felt like forever and I now will eat them but only cooked in a certain way. He said they were like cabbage but they are not. If your child has now tried it fine but now don't make her eat anything else, she knows what she likes why force something on your child just inform them vegetables are good in a diet, one of my teens will only eat broccoli. Courgettes are horrible also.

I wouldn't call having textural and flavour preferences like most adults have "picky" tbh. I have similar textural preferences to the DD there and I am very happy eater and open to trying new things.

I hate licorice with passion, mushrooms I can bear a minimal presence except truffle which is just a no, offal in very limited versions and not all offal, cooked bell peppers in large bits are a no. And all and any overcooked vegetable to a point it's weirdly mushy. I love veg otherwise.
This also changes through life. Lots of things I hated as young, I really like now, because I either found a way to prep them well for me or found that quality matters.

Everyone has preferences, it's noy pickyness, and one doesn't have to be ND either to have them.
Steamed courgette🤢

I would take this approach OP. I would not force her to eat anything but would also not cook anything specific.

Courgettes taste disgusting I don't blame your teenage child to not want to eat it. Instead of forcing her to eat, why not give her the option to select ingredients and cook the family meals a couple of times a week instead

On the whole my siblings and I were good eaters, but our mother used to insist that my sister had 1 tiny brussel sprout and that I had a slice of turkey at Christmas. Not sure if our brother had a food he disliked.
My sister eventually developed a taste for brussels sprouts, but I never came to like turkey, so, when I was about 26 I was excused the turkey!
However, there was never any drama around it or, in those days, any alternatives... We are now 67, 64 and 62.

I don’t think the palatability of the courgette is the main issue!

The OP has made it clear it’s a power play and she’s happy she ‘won’.