To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

[NotWinstonChurchill]

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

15! year old daughter (NT) has become increasingly fussy with regards to vegetables. And it's got to the point where she will eat some things in some dishes, but not in others. For example:

Cucumbers - these have to have the centers removed, but has no problem eating them grated in tzatiki, or sliced and prepared (without being deseeded) in fancy Japanese dishes.
Tomatoes - will eat with seeds removed, or will eat whole when cooked down to nothing. Cherry toms will not eat, unless on pizzas or bruschetta, but will not eat in roasted vegetable melee.
Mushrooms - eats large Portobello mushrooms, or chopped up very small but has started picking out bits of mushroom from dishes. But will eat on pizza.
Peppers - will only eat green peppers, unless it's on a pizza or in chilli. But that can change at the drop of a hat as the other day decided that cooked green peppers were no longer the acceptable.
Courgettes - will eat grated in pasta dishes, or cooked with feta as fritters, but will not eat sliced and cooked.

I could go on. You get the idea.

I believe that everyone has some 'get out of jail free' cards when it comes to foods. I don't like forcing foods on people if they genuinely don't like them (I hated mushrooms and parsnips as a child). But this chopping and changing depending on a whim has pissed me right off. It fucks up my meal planning, makes extra work, wastes money and is just ridiculous.

Today I stood my ground. We've had tears, we've had tantrums, we've had threats of pocket money withdrawal permanently. I put one piece of steamed courgette on the plate and insisted she could not get down until it was eaten.

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

Was I unreasonable?

I think a better way might have been to just stick to doing the meals you want to do and stop pandering so much to what she does or doesn't want on a daily basis. If there's something she won't eat, then it's tough, she can leave it, or try it, but not get a different thing. Don't make a big fuss, just ignore her if she starts making a scene.

I wouldn't have gone down the 'sit there until you eat it' route, it will bring even more unhappy vibes to dinner time.

The other option is to get her to learn to cook her own meals, she's 15 and definitely old enough to do that. Perhaps if she has a free licence to cook she may settle down a bit. Otherwise it's turning into a control issue and who can last the longest before caving.

In 15years she’s never tried a courgette?

I do think encouraging kids to try new things is always a good thing but you are actually making meal times traumatic.

She will associate courgettes with crying and stress, so will likely never eat it again.
Whereas in a couple of years she’d have list likely wanted to try it.

You should encourage but not punish.

This us just rage bait. If not true a stupid thread. If true a ignorant bullying silky Mother.

Yeah, that's a bot shit. I remember my mother doing it to me when I was about 5 with a particular dish I didn't like. Guess what, I still don't like it. So not sure what the winning is here.

My much younger cousin who used to live with me as a teenager at one point is an extremely fussy eater. Guess what, I just cooked a family meal and he was free to eat it or leave it, make something himself or wait for the next meal which would hopefully be more to his liking. No issues with planning or budgeting whatsoever. No tantrums, no battles fought or won.

Yes. But just cook as normal, she can pick out what she doesn’t want

Silly not silky.

I do insist that DC tries a bite of a new food. And I also insist that they eat something like broccoli which they don't hate but won't eat without threats of no pudding.

It would’ve been more helpful to teach her to cook her own meals or substituted courgettes for something else. You have achieved absolutely nothing positive in this situation except a ‘win’ you sound like a 15 year old yourself. My young adult son hates peas and he just picks them out no drama.

You come across as a horrible bully you’re dd won’t forget what you did..I’ve never forgotten my dad making me eat food I didn’t want as a kid and a teenager

Why did she sit there? I find it quite hard to believe that a 15 year old wouldn't have just shouted at you and stormed off.

If one were to theoretically ask AI to produce a paragraph to prompt pages of outrage on this site, it couldn’t do better.

Making a fussy teen eat.

Middle class ‘get down from the table’

Steamed courgette!!

And it has worked so well.

Yabu, and awful

Yes you are. She is old enough to know her own mind . You don’t have to cater to every single preference - as that is a lot - but you could say you are making what you are making and she will just have to pick it out , but to force her to eat something she doesn’t like - to the point of tears and threats - is very unreasonable. You say you made her eat one slice- so it doesn’t sound like you made her eat it because it was mixed up within the food and if she didn’t eat it , she was wasting a whole meal .. it sounds like you did it on principle. You wouldn’t have been affected if she didn’t eat it. If she was crying and it took 30 mins then she clearly does not like it!

I will only eat peppers if they are tiny and diced , I will eat sum dried tomatoes and tomato’s in a dish like a pasta or a curry , but couldn’t stomach them alone. I will eat any kind of pasta , but I cannot stomach rigatoni. I love prawns in batter but alone they make me heave. Things do taste different when they are cooked differently .

"By God I Won!?"

Out of interest - What did you win?

Disgusting,

I bloody love almost all vegetables, but I really don't like steamed or boiled courgettes. They are utterly tasteless and horribly mushy.

She's 15, not 4. You shouldn't be forcing her to eat anything. It's not like she refuses to try any veg, is it? She just has some preferences about how they are cooked and served, that's all. She's not going to die of scurvy. Leave her alone.

Her body, her choice of what she puts into it. YABVU and also unhinged.

I don't know what on earth is going on in your house if you are able to make a 15 year old stay at a table until they've eaten something? It sounds like she is terrified of you?

Courgettes taste of nothing at all. They're ok in a mixed dish, but I wouldn't eat them on their own.
You sound as if you are antagonizing your daughter for nothing.

The true crime was steaming the courgette. I wouldn't eat that either, and I'm a gannet. Fry it in butter, like a civilised person.

Is this a typo and you meant your DD was 5?

This

One school of thought is it's ONLY a piece of courgette, but they way you went about it is seriously madness. You need to take a deep breath and pick your battles.

Could be worse i suppose the op could have walked around a business park

Yes you were ridiculous and pretty nasty

This is insane. She’s legally allowed to have a sex life next year. The years following she can drink, will be looking to move out.
Your time for kicking off about a fucking courgette sailed away about 5 years ago.
Get a grip.
If my mother had behaved like this with me at 15 I’d have moved in with my grandma