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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

349 replies

NotWinstonChurchill · 18/03/2026 18:23

To have made my teenager eat a piece of courgette?

15! year old daughter (NT) has become increasingly fussy with regards to vegetables. And it's got to the point where she will eat some things in some dishes, but not in others. For example:

Cucumbers - these have to have the centers removed, but has no problem eating them grated in tzatiki, or sliced and prepared (without being deseeded) in fancy Japanese dishes.
Tomatoes - will eat with seeds removed, or will eat whole when cooked down to nothing. Cherry toms will not eat, unless on pizzas or bruschetta, but will not eat in roasted vegetable melee.
Mushrooms - eats large Portobello mushrooms, or chopped up very small but has started picking out bits of mushroom from dishes. But will eat on pizza.
Peppers - will only eat green peppers, unless it's on a pizza or in chilli. But that can change at the drop of a hat as the other day decided that cooked green peppers were no longer the acceptable.
Courgettes - will eat grated in pasta dishes, or cooked with feta as fritters, but will not eat sliced and cooked.

I could go on. You get the idea.

I believe that everyone has some 'get out of jail free' cards when it comes to foods. I don't like forcing foods on people if they genuinely don't like them (I hated mushrooms and parsnips as a child). But this chopping and changing depending on a whim has pissed me right off. It fucks up my meal planning, makes extra work, wastes money and is just ridiculous.

Today I stood my ground. We've had tears, we've had tantrums, we've had threats of pocket money withdrawal permanently. I put one piece of steamed courgette on the plate and insisted she could not get down until it was eaten.

I won. It took half a hour, but by God I won.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
whattheysay · 18/03/2026 18:43

I don’t like the texture of courgette and I’m NT. I will eat it if it’s on a plate but I choose not to. Steamed courgette is even worse.
My dc all don’t like various things so I tend not to make them but if I do they can pick it out. I don’t force feed the while they are crying then gloat that I won

Lunde · 18/03/2026 18:44

Completely stupid IMHO

But there again I knew someone who still harboured ill feelings towards his parents in his 30s for doing something very similar when he was 7

... and it made him a much pickier eater and less keen to try things because of the memory of an hour plus in tears at the dinner table

Frangle · 18/03/2026 18:45

I fear you may have actually made things worse op

wyntersky · 18/03/2026 18:45

Are you now going to tell us that it was dh who made her eat the courgette? (Totally unreasonable by the way!)

Opolo · 18/03/2026 18:46

I don’t think you have “won”. I was the NT child in the same boat years ago where I could eat certain stuff but only with specific rules and certain situations , and I still remember a similar situation with my mother, it didn’t help my relationship with food it just hurt our relationship.

hazelberry · 18/03/2026 18:46

You didn't win anything,

Shitwithsugar · 18/03/2026 18:47

Don't turn food into a battle.

Teanandtoast · 18/03/2026 18:47

Yes totally. I'd absolutely hate anyone to treat me or my children like this.

watchingthishtread · 18/03/2026 18:47

You won but what have you achieved?
Yabu.

TheLizardQueen · 18/03/2026 18:48

You are completely unreasonable. It’s like making a vegetarian eat meat!! She’s a teenager, she knows what she likes and what she doesn’t like. Don’t give her an aversion to food!

LameImpala · 18/03/2026 18:49

I love courgette but I wouldn't serve it steamed, so bland.
You haven’t handled this well, nothing has been won or achieved apart from resentment.
At 15 she’s old enough to prepare her own dinner if she doesn’t like what’s on offer or prep the vegetables your serving as she likes them.

Bellaboo01 · 18/03/2026 18:49

Yes you are being unreasonable.

OneFunBrickNewt · 18/03/2026 18:49

What a Pyrrhic victory (I just wanted to use that expression on MN, but also true.)

Newbutoldfather · 18/03/2026 18:49

When I see this type of post, I always wait to see if OP comes.back.

If they don’t, the conclusion is obvious.

Nerdynerdynerd · 18/03/2026 18:49

Cruel. Imagine if a partner did that to you.

Moonandstarsandsun · 18/03/2026 18:49

Couldn’t get down? She’s not 5, she’s 15.

You crossed a boundary there forcing her.

ThatJadeLion · 18/03/2026 18:50

No YABVU, that's awful

Dollymylove · 18/03/2026 18:50

Why force someone to eat something theu dont like,? My mum used to force me to eat thickly sliced bread with butter on. I hated it. I used to store in my mouth then spit it out when she wasnt looking.

TheJoyousHiker · 18/03/2026 18:51

The only thing you’ve won is a prize for being a nasty and controlling person. Imagine making someone sit for 30 minutes, forcing them to eat a piece of a food. Maybe take a moment to reflect and apologise.

In our home, I try to cook what I think will be eaten by everyone. If they don’t want to eat the meal or a component - then they know where the fruit bowl is or can make toast themselves.

godmum56 · 18/03/2026 18:51

you haven't won. Food is not a battle or a competition.

NYXProfessional · 18/03/2026 18:51

Threats to take away pocket money over a piece of courgette? Very unreasonable.

Batties · 18/03/2026 18:51

OP hasn't been back. Such rage bait!

Brokenfence · 18/03/2026 18:51

At 15??
My parents did this to my brother in the 90's who was fussy with veg, but as a small child. By the time we were 15 we weren't treated like toddlers any more.

NYXProfessional · 18/03/2026 18:51

TheJoyousHiker · 18/03/2026 18:51

The only thing you’ve won is a prize for being a nasty and controlling person. Imagine making someone sit for 30 minutes, forcing them to eat a piece of a food. Maybe take a moment to reflect and apologise.

In our home, I try to cook what I think will be eaten by everyone. If they don’t want to eat the meal or a component - then they know where the fruit bowl is or can make toast themselves.

This!

Happyjoe · 18/03/2026 18:52

I am a lot older than your teenager - I hate the insides of tomatoes. Am totally with your dd!

Force feeding doesn't create a liking for the food, more of an issue.. better to find out the ways she will eat them. Steamed courgette is dull, I have no idea why anyone serves it but made into katsu curry veg they are amazing for example.