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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Barking Dog vs Sleeping Baby

75 replies

Whatsgoingon16 · 18/03/2026 15:10

I’m at my wits end!!!

Our dog is barking constantly throughout baby’s nap times in the day whenever anyone approaches the front door (postman or people walking by)

AIBU? I literally can’t take it anymore, my partner is so busy and out working I think he doesn’t fully understand how sleep deprived and frustrated I am. It’s hard getting the baby down for a nap and just to be woken up constantly by a barking dog.

his parents love the dog and right now I think it’s best he stays with them for a while?

my partner loves the dog so much and so do I but I am 8 months deep into post partum and heavily sleep deprived and need calm and peace during nap times :(

OP posts:
Pinkelephant66 · 18/03/2026 16:14

Train him not to bark? All dogs bark 🤷‍♀️ and anyway, I think you want a dog to bark when there’s unknown people at your house! Do you have a garden? Put him outside during nap times?

Clefable · 18/03/2026 16:15

Ah I do sympathise. Our dog will always bark when there is someone approaching our house and it never bothered us until baby nap times! I have to say that they did actually both end up sleeping through the barking eventually with the white noise on and both are now very deep sleepers!

I didn’t want to train her not to bark at people approaching our home as I don’t really have an issue with it generally and find it quite useful for various reasons, but for a short period of time it was a pain!

Things that might help: ring doorbell on silent, note on door asking visitors not to knock, dog kept in back of house during nap time so they can’t see people approaching, blind down on windows.

We are long past the nap phase now so it’s back to being a non-issue!

Batties · 18/03/2026 16:15

OP, some people gave kind, helpful advice. I’m not sure it was fair to label them the way you did.

You posted to literally ask if you were being unreasonable so why are you upset at people saying you are? Can you see how unreasonable it was that you only care about the barking now it affects you?

IwishIcouldconfess · 18/03/2026 16:15

Ella31 · 18/03/2026 16:10

No I get that. It was deleted already but no one has to stoop to that level either. That's all I'm saying.

This isn't Downton Abbey, no one is stooping.

saveforthat · 18/03/2026 16:15

In spite of the op's sissy fit, there's been some really good advice on this thread. My advice is take the dog out when baby naps.

saveforthat · 18/03/2026 16:16

saveforthat · 18/03/2026 16:15

In spite of the op's sissy fit, there's been some really good advice on this thread. My advice is take the dog out when baby naps.

  • hissy fit.
HappyMamma2023 · 18/03/2026 16:16

I think it's quite normal for dogs to bark if the doorbell is rung or someone knocks on? The OP hasn't said the dog is barking incessantly during the day, just if the postman comes or there's a delivery. We had the same problem with our dog who only barks when he sees the postman. Before the baby we kept the blinds shut in the living room so he didn't see the postman but when I was spending more time at home I didn't want to do that. We put up one of those letter boxes at the side of the house you unlock with a key and a notice up asking not to use the letter box.

rwalker · 18/03/2026 16:16

Whatsgoingon16 · 18/03/2026 15:51

everyone is basically negative as fuck and immediately pointing the finger at me and sympathising with the neighbours.

Sorry where is the advice?

The unanimous advice is train your dog

I get it must be a difficult read because nobody like being criticised but you have to take it on board

cramptramp · 18/03/2026 16:16

But presumably you had time to train it not to bark before your baby was born? Shut your dog in a room at the back of the house so it can’t see people passing by. This might please your neighbours too.

Boomer55 · 18/03/2026 16:17

Whatsgoingon16 · 18/03/2026 15:43

Wow! Mumsnet you are full of catty, unsympathetic, judgey critics huh?

So much judgement in the comments.

No sympathy or kind advice for a struggling new mum. Thanks everyone! Won’t be posting on here again or taking any of your snide, shitty advice at all.

Edited

You’re a new mother. Yeah ok.🙄 The dog should have been trained years back, not just now you’re inconvenienced. Your neighbours are the ones I feel sorry for.

Train it or rehome it.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 18/03/2026 16:17

Hi OP

sorry you’re not getting much sleep. It’s awful and I remember those days well.

i know the responses sound tough but there is some good advice in the mix.

can dog be out of sight of windows for now? Then when you have more time to get in touch with a trainer?

can you try to tire the dog out more so he sleeps?

have you tied white noise for baby so the barking isn’t as intense??

I do really feel for you but also do wonder why you’ve not tackled it before. I hate barking dogs so if I was your neighbour I’d have lost the plot too I’m afraid.

What has happened previously? What do you do when he barks?

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 18/03/2026 16:18

And yes please don’t pass the dog to someone else. They will then have the same issue. Unless they can train it??

luckylavender · 18/03/2026 16:18

Whatsgoingon16 · 18/03/2026 15:43

Wow! Mumsnet you are full of catty, unsympathetic, judgey critics huh?

So much judgement in the comments.

No sympathy or kind advice for a struggling new mum. Thanks everyone! Won’t be posting on here again or taking any of your snide, shitty advice at all.

Edited

Well you've been putting your neighbours through Hell for years knowingly. And you didn't give a damn.

Clefable · 18/03/2026 16:19

HappyMamma2023 · 18/03/2026 16:16

I think it's quite normal for dogs to bark if the doorbell is rung or someone knocks on? The OP hasn't said the dog is barking incessantly during the day, just if the postman comes or there's a delivery. We had the same problem with our dog who only barks when he sees the postman. Before the baby we kept the blinds shut in the living room so he didn't see the postman but when I was spending more time at home I didn't want to do that. We put up one of those letter boxes at the side of the house you unlock with a key and a notice up asking not to use the letter box.

It definitely is! Some of these replies are very entertaining though Grin

When I walk down our street you can tell the dog houses as you usually get a few woofs and a curious stare as you go past!

Clefable · 18/03/2026 16:21

Oh yes an outside parcel/mail box is a good idea. We used one when DDog was a puppy and she used to steal the post.

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/03/2026 16:22

I mean, the pair of you have had however many YEARS to deal with this...

The person who is home with the dog has to do the training, there is no getting away from that because this needs classical counter conditioning - pairing the trigger for the behaviour with reward, such that the emotional response alters, the barking goes away because the dog is now relaxed and happy about that trigger and automatically looks to his person for guidance.

In practice this means the dog is in the same room as you at all times, if the dog goes out, you go out.

You wear a treat pouch at all times (on a waist belt, clipped to trousers etc) and any time YOU hear a noise, you toss him some treats.

Consistently done you can alter this behaviour in a matter of a few weeks, but you MUST be consistent, at all times. If you are not, well barking is self-reinforcing, it feels good, it makes whatever trigger go away (the dog has no idea the trigger noise would go away anyway!), so it works and that reinforces the behavour further (as does yelling at the dog because he is getting attention and likely thinks you too are barking at the noises).

It is possible someone else could do it if the dog stayed with them but the chancse are you would still need to do this for a few days when the dog moved back in, as they'll mostly associate this training with the new location, not your house.

For barking at sights of things passing front windows - use frosted window film, it need not block the whole window, just to the height the dog can no longer see over.

HappyMamma2023 · 18/03/2026 16:23

HappyMamma2023 · 18/03/2026 16:16

I think it's quite normal for dogs to bark if the doorbell is rung or someone knocks on? The OP hasn't said the dog is barking incessantly during the day, just if the postman comes or there's a delivery. We had the same problem with our dog who only barks when he sees the postman. Before the baby we kept the blinds shut in the living room so he didn't see the postman but when I was spending more time at home I didn't want to do that. We put up one of those letter boxes at the side of the house you unlock with a key and a notice up asking not to use the letter box.

We also put blue tack inside the letterbox so if someone does use it instead of the letterbox on the wall it isn't as noisy

category12 · 18/03/2026 16:31

If your parents will take the dog temporarily, then that seems like a good plan while you're feeling desperate. (Don't let DH overrule you if he's not the one home all day with the dog & baby.)

If you think you might be suffering PND, please get down to the docs.

After a bit of a break from the situation, say a few weeks, make some decisions about the dog together. If DH doesn't want the dog rehomed, he would need to take the lead in training it.

Thereissnowinmywellies · 18/03/2026 17:53

rwalker · 18/03/2026 15:30

Send it to his parents you must be making your neighbours life an absolute misery

having previously lived next door to someone with a barking dog I’ve nothing more to say other than they are a selfish twat
that might be harsh but I’m sure neighbours would agree

Been in this situation. the neighbour had a German shepard, never walked it and kept it in the back garden, use to bark all day. I got environmental involved and they sorted it eventually. The dog went.

Abd80 · 18/03/2026 21:55

is dog quieter if you put them in the garden at naptime ?
can you put a white noise machine by sleeping baby to kind of drown out other noise ? This is what I have to do as our neighbour has a dog that barks.
I would take baby and dog out for a walks at nap time. Then baby can nap in the buggy and dog won’t be barking.

OonaStubbs · 18/03/2026 22:07

It's not funny to have your life ruined by a neighbours constantly barking dog. It happened to me and nearly drove me insane. This is one of the main reasons why I think ownership of dogs should be banned or at least heavily restricted.

rainbowunicorn · 18/03/2026 22:12

Whatsgoingon16 · 18/03/2026 15:19

Dog we’ve had for 6 years, baby is 7 months old. Neighbours get annoyed with dog they’ve made comments. I do not have time to train him to not bark I’m a new sleep deprived mother with 0 time to embark on dog training!!!

my partner super busy at work so doesn’t have the time either

we love him but my love is turning into pure frustration / desperation

Youve had 6 years to train the dog. Why should everyone around you have to put up with your barking dog?

Eenameenadeeka · 18/03/2026 22:49

Is it possible to shut the dog in another room during nap time where it can't see out the window to bark? Or will baby fall asleep in the pram if you take the dog for a walk?

MaidenGarret · 18/03/2026 22:56

Send it to the in-laws if they are happy to have it and focus on getting some sleep and rest for you and the baby. The dog will be fine there by the sounds of it. Sleep deprivation is hell, you have a small baby to deal with and you need to be well - that is more important than where the dog lives at the moment. Doesn’t need to be forever. I would prioritise mine and my baby’s wellbeing over a pet in this situation in a heartbeat. Ignore the guilt trippers.

ItIsNotTheDog · 18/03/2026 23:03

During nap time can dog go in a separate room with door closed, as far away from the front door as possible? And put some classical music on so it can't hear noices from outside?

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