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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trying to intimidate me over parking issues

272 replies

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 13:59

I live on a small estate where each house has a driveway that can fit 2 cars. There’s also room on the street, so every house can accommodate at least 3 cars. The driveways are single file, which means people sometimes have to move their cars around, but that’s never really been an issue. Just for context, I live alone, so it’s a bit easier for me. I’ve been here for almost 7 years and was quite happy until recently when my lovely neighbours moved away in November. My new neighbours moved in, we introduced ourselves, exchanged greetings when we passed by, and everything seemed fine. However, things took a turn in January when their son (they’re a couple with a son in his 20s) got a transit van for work.

At first, they parked both their cars in the driveway and the van outside their house, swapping them around like everyone else. But a few weeks later, he started parking it outside mine. I figured it was just a one time thing and didn’t think much of it, but then he kept doing it every day, sometimes leaving it parked there for several days in a row. The thing is, my front garden is small, so the van ends up blocking my living room window, and honestly, it’s not great to look at every single day. I didn’t mind him parking there every now and then, but I thought it was a bit inconsiderate to do it all the time while leaving their own window empty. It also meant that my guests had to park further down the road and walk, when before they could park right outside. It’s a public road, so I never told them not to park there, but I did politely ask if they could switch it with one of their cars. They said no because the drive wasn’t wide enough for the van, and if they parked it in front of their house, they’d have to keep moving it to get the cars off the drive.

They were parking one car on the drive and one on the road, so they didn’t have to move either of them. I explained that it blocked my view and wasn’t pleasant to look at all the time, but they just repeated that it wasn’t possible to move it. There’s a small lay-by in the next street (you can see it from both our houses, and you walk through a little alley to get there) that isn’t in front of anyone’s house, so I asked if he could park the van there, but they said it wasn’t possible in case tools got stolen, etc, so that was that, and I never mentioned it up again.

Honestly, it bugged me for a bit and definitely soured the relationship, but there wasn't much I could do, so I just tried to ignore it. Then in February, my friend decided to sell her car. It’s an old Toyota Aygo and was very cheap, so I thought I'd grab it as a little runaround. I live up in the hills which can be a hassle, especially when my car is in the garage as the local bus only comes every two hours, making it difficult to get around and manage work. The car has an MOT until next year, it's taxed and insured, and I've been parking it outside my house. My main car is on the drive. I won’t lie, it was nice not having to see a big van every day too so that was definitely a bonus. A couple of weeks after I parked the car there, my neighbour asked if it was mine. I said yes, and asked if everything was okay. They brought up the van and mentioned it was difficult for them since they had nowhere else to park. I suggested the lay-by again or said they could park outside their own house (like everyone else), but they weren’t happy and asked me to put it on my drive since I wasn’t using it every day. I told them no, sorry, but they have space outside their own house, and I’m parking my car in the space outside mine. I probably could have been nicer about it, but they didn’t seem to care when they were blocking my front window and making it difficult for my guests, so I didn’t have much sympathy for them.

Since then, tensions have been high, and they’ve asked me several times to move my car. Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out), tossing rubbish into my garden, and just generally being rude and trying to intimidate me. The last time I talked to them was on Saturday when they jokingly threatened to tow my car away (I have cameras at the front of my house). They were laughing but I could tell it was a threat. I doubt they would act this way if I had a partner.

Am I being unreasonable for saying that if they keep this up, I’ll call the police?

OP posts:
Smilesinthesunshine · 18/03/2026 17:52

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 17:47

I voted YABU.

I'm not condoning their behaviour (it's nasty) but they legally parked their van, you asked them to not park there as it blocked your light (it was your choice to buy/rent a house where a car can park close to your window) and then you have deliberately bought a second car to park in front of your house so they can't park there.

Again, I'm not condoning their behaviour, but your own behaviour comes across VERY petty - no one buys a second car for themselves just in case their other one is in a garage. You get a hire car or a courtesy car.

So basically your own petty actions have pissed off some petty but nasty people.

Actually I have a second car in case the first car breaks down! Loads of people have two or more cars, it's no big deal!

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 18/03/2026 17:53

WishingIwasyoungerandslimmer · 18/03/2026 17:50

There is something the OP can do about it though.

Get a second car and park it on the street outside her house.

But, oh yes, she did exactly that. And good on her!

Then she gets complaints on here for doing what people have told her. That anyone can park outside of her house. Anyone that is apart from the OP herself according to some on here for some strange reason!

I think it is the wide eyed innocence that is winding people up...

LardoBurrows · 18/03/2026 17:54

Op, how sure are you that the son is paying tax on his earning? You say he is self employed - do you thank he might be accepting cash in hand for his labours? Might be worth a call to HMR if you suspect he might be a tax dodging twat (clue - you do suspect). Other than that at the moment all you can do is keep a record of every twatty, intimidating thing they do in case you need to report them for threatening behaviour.

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 17:55

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 17:47

I voted YABU.

I'm not condoning their behaviour (it's nasty) but they legally parked their van, you asked them to not park there as it blocked your light (it was your choice to buy/rent a house where a car can park close to your window) and then you have deliberately bought a second car to park in front of your house so they can't park there.

Again, I'm not condoning their behaviour, but your own behaviour comes across VERY petty - no one buys a second car for themselves just in case their other one is in a garage. You get a hire car or a courtesy car.

So basically your own petty actions have pissed off some petty but nasty people.

I think we all know a van is very very different to a car.

OP posts:
Seymour5 · 18/03/2026 17:59

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:47

I don’t think you realise the size difference between a car and a van. The van fills up the whole window and blocks any view or natural light. It’s very, very different.

My daughter bought a flat on a new estate, fortunately not on the ground floor, where there was only a small strip of garden. There was a man who parked his van right outside, blocking any light into the ground floor flat, rather than on his own drive or in front of his house. I think that’s being a crap neighbour. I completely get it, the family should have been more considerate and parked their van outside their own house.

babasaclover · 18/03/2026 18:03

@crispsbuttywe've got 4 cars between the two of us but each for their own purpose that’s why I didn’t understand a spare car just in case yours is in the garage - like your car should not be so unreliable that it’s in the garage that often I mean.

love cars and we can fit all ours on drive or in garage

DaisyDaisy133 · 18/03/2026 18:05

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 13:59

I live on a small estate where each house has a driveway that can fit 2 cars. There’s also room on the street, so every house can accommodate at least 3 cars. The driveways are single file, which means people sometimes have to move their cars around, but that’s never really been an issue. Just for context, I live alone, so it’s a bit easier for me. I’ve been here for almost 7 years and was quite happy until recently when my lovely neighbours moved away in November. My new neighbours moved in, we introduced ourselves, exchanged greetings when we passed by, and everything seemed fine. However, things took a turn in January when their son (they’re a couple with a son in his 20s) got a transit van for work.

At first, they parked both their cars in the driveway and the van outside their house, swapping them around like everyone else. But a few weeks later, he started parking it outside mine. I figured it was just a one time thing and didn’t think much of it, but then he kept doing it every day, sometimes leaving it parked there for several days in a row. The thing is, my front garden is small, so the van ends up blocking my living room window, and honestly, it’s not great to look at every single day. I didn’t mind him parking there every now and then, but I thought it was a bit inconsiderate to do it all the time while leaving their own window empty. It also meant that my guests had to park further down the road and walk, when before they could park right outside. It’s a public road, so I never told them not to park there, but I did politely ask if they could switch it with one of their cars. They said no because the drive wasn’t wide enough for the van, and if they parked it in front of their house, they’d have to keep moving it to get the cars off the drive.

They were parking one car on the drive and one on the road, so they didn’t have to move either of them. I explained that it blocked my view and wasn’t pleasant to look at all the time, but they just repeated that it wasn’t possible to move it. There’s a small lay-by in the next street (you can see it from both our houses, and you walk through a little alley to get there) that isn’t in front of anyone’s house, so I asked if he could park the van there, but they said it wasn’t possible in case tools got stolen, etc, so that was that, and I never mentioned it up again.

Honestly, it bugged me for a bit and definitely soured the relationship, but there wasn't much I could do, so I just tried to ignore it. Then in February, my friend decided to sell her car. It’s an old Toyota Aygo and was very cheap, so I thought I'd grab it as a little runaround. I live up in the hills which can be a hassle, especially when my car is in the garage as the local bus only comes every two hours, making it difficult to get around and manage work. The car has an MOT until next year, it's taxed and insured, and I've been parking it outside my house. My main car is on the drive. I won’t lie, it was nice not having to see a big van every day too so that was definitely a bonus. A couple of weeks after I parked the car there, my neighbour asked if it was mine. I said yes, and asked if everything was okay. They brought up the van and mentioned it was difficult for them since they had nowhere else to park. I suggested the lay-by again or said they could park outside their own house (like everyone else), but they weren’t happy and asked me to put it on my drive since I wasn’t using it every day. I told them no, sorry, but they have space outside their own house, and I’m parking my car in the space outside mine. I probably could have been nicer about it, but they didn’t seem to care when they were blocking my front window and making it difficult for my guests, so I didn’t have much sympathy for them.

Since then, tensions have been high, and they’ve asked me several times to move my car. Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out), tossing rubbish into my garden, and just generally being rude and trying to intimidate me. The last time I talked to them was on Saturday when they jokingly threatened to tow my car away (I have cameras at the front of my house). They were laughing but I could tell it was a threat. I doubt they would act this way if I had a partner.

Am I being unreasonable for saying that if they keep this up, I’ll call the police?

is the space in the road where they now park the van (and partially blocking your drive) in front of someone else’s house ? Is the space big enough for the van and therefore no need to partially block your driveway ? I’d be tempted to put both of your cars on the road for a while (when the son goes out in the van) and see what they do then.

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 18:07

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 17:55

I think we all know a van is very very different to a car.

And? It's a public road and if you have a window that is near a public road then people can and will park in front of it.

I live in a village with loads of pretty houses, but they're very close to the road, and always end up with cars/vans parked outside. That's life. It's expected if you have a property like that. I deliberately bought a not so pretty house but it does have plenty of parking! I used to live in a city and had to street park, and we often had vans parked next to our lounge window.

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 18:09

Smilesinthesunshine · 18/03/2026 17:52

Actually I have a second car in case the first car breaks down! Loads of people have two or more cars, it's no big deal!

I massively disagree.

I think very few people who live alone have more than one car!

WhatSharonSaidNext · 18/03/2026 18:09

You sound as bad as each other. You started it by complaining about not liking looking at their van. Seriously, grow up. And you’ve kept it going because now you’ve decided it’s ok for you to park on the road but not then. You don’t own the road outside your houses. So what if other people on the estate park outside their houses? They still don’t own the space outside and don’t get to dictate who can and can’t park outside their property. These parking wars are pathetic. I mean even going as far as buying your friends old car just to stop someone else parking outside your houses. Absolutely pathetic.

CosyBungalow · 18/03/2026 18:15

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 18:09

I massively disagree.

I think very few people who live alone have more than one car!

I live alone. I have a car, and I have a fiesta van - no back seats. The van is used to transport my dogs when we go to the dog paddock. I choose to have a 2nd vehicle, and no-one will be telling me i shouldn't have a 2nd vehicle. If you didnt know me, you wouldn't know why I had a 2nd vehicle - and I dont need to justify that to anyone... OP, leave your 2nd car just where it is.

BrickBiscuit · 18/03/2026 18:16

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 16:19

Please please please read the thread. I did not buy the car to stop them from parking there. I’ve said this multiple times.

Even so, well done for using the Aygo to stop these CFs parking their van in front of your window instead of their own. I'm right on your side. If someone asks nicely, I go out of my way to help with their parking issues (our street has them too). But if they are arrogant about it, like these people, I have no patience to help them. But just be careful they don't get their own Aygo, pinch the space at the first opportunity, then just swap it for the van ad infinitum [eta: or even use one of their existing cars to do this]

Hillarious · 18/03/2026 18:18

Figcherry · 18/03/2026 16:28

Op didn’t start neighbours wars. She was polite. When the ndn refused to move his van she accepted it.
Now she has a legitimately parked car and her ndn doesn’t like it because she’s outmanoeuvred them.
The ndn needs to accept that op can for any reason she wants, including to improve her view , park her car on a public road.

I guess things started to escalate once the OP asked if the neighbour’s son could not park his van in a space where he was legally entitled to park. That just starts to sour a relationship with the neighbours and the subsequent parking of the spare car in that space just looks to be passive aggressive. The behaviour of the neighbours is just aggressive. Nothing seemingly passive about it at all. But the current situation is just the unintended consequence of the OP’s first unreasonable request about the van.

Gazelda · 18/03/2026 18:22

They are arseholes. Keep a record of their harassment and consider reporting if it continues.

having said that, if I were them I’d have assumed you’d pettily bought a second car to wind them up. I appreciate you didn’t, but it’s understandable if that’s the way the saw it.

Tontostitis · 18/03/2026 18:24

Are you pretending you haven't done this on purpose? You've been deliberately petty and started a turf war. Never a good idea.

StormyLandCloud · 18/03/2026 18:27

ChangeAgainAgainAgain · 18/03/2026 14:28

I'll be honest and say I think it's ridiculously petty to go to the lengths of buying, taxing, MoTing and insuring a car just to stop your neighbours from parking on the street outside your house.

That said, you have every right to park there, just as they had every right to park there when the space was free. It is unreasonable for them to keep asking you to move your car, just as it was unreasonable for you to keep asking them to move their legally parked van.

Edited

My brother lives alone and has 4 cars … what’s wrong with having2?!
The fact is the neighbours keep their window view clear in return block OP’s view … whilst it’s not illegal, it’s pretty shitty of the neighbour

PippaToryFripp · 18/03/2026 18:29

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 14:38

I didn’t get the car to stop them from parking there. I bought it as a little runaround, so I’d have a backup if my main car ever needed to go into the garage (which it did recently for over a week, making it difficult to get around and commute to work). My friend was selling it for a really low price, so I figured it was a good deal.

The fact that it kept them from parking there and blocking my view was just a nice bonus. I only asked them once, not several times either like you suggested. And I didn’t say they couldn’t park there. I politely asked if they could swap it with one of their cars, which I thought was reasonable. They declined, and I didn’t bring it up again.

They, on the other hand, have asked me multiple times to move the car and got nasty when I said no.

No you didn’t 😂 Nobody buys themselves a second car incase their first car needs to go in the garage. We’re not daft, you bought it to mark your territory and piss your neighbours off.

firstofallimadelight · 18/03/2026 18:29

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:56

Yes that’s right!

I feel your pain we had someone park a big van opposite our house (as in otherside of the road) and that still blocked our light /view. It also made getting off the drive a nightmare! Thankfully he moved away but when ever anyone visited I would get them to park there for a reprieve!

babasaclover · 18/03/2026 18:31

SunnyRedSnail · 18/03/2026 18:09

I massively disagree.

I think very few people who live alone have more than one car!

Agreed @SunnyRedSnailits one thing having multiple cars for multiple purposes but most people don’t have another car just in case. The sensible thing would be to have one car that costs more but is reliable instead of paying out for two cars. Obviously anyone can have any numbers of cars they wish but I suspect this is a case of buying a cheap small car just to block the road in front of their house

OneGreySeal · 18/03/2026 18:31

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 14:38

I didn’t get the car to stop them from parking there. I bought it as a little runaround, so I’d have a backup if my main car ever needed to go into the garage (which it did recently for over a week, making it difficult to get around and commute to work). My friend was selling it for a really low price, so I figured it was a good deal.

The fact that it kept them from parking there and blocking my view was just a nice bonus. I only asked them once, not several times either like you suggested. And I didn’t say they couldn’t park there. I politely asked if they could swap it with one of their cars, which I thought was reasonable. They declined, and I didn’t bring it up again.

They, on the other hand, have asked me multiple times to move the car and got nasty when I said no.

No one buys a ‘backup car’ lol you bought it to claim the spot outside your home and now you betted be prepared to defend it.

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 18:32

PippaToryFripp · 18/03/2026 18:29

No you didn’t 😂 Nobody buys themselves a second car incase their first car needs to go in the garage. We’re not daft, you bought it to mark your territory and piss your neighbours off.

Ok? You think I’m lying, fine. That’s your opinion (doesn’t make it true btw). What do you want me to say?

OP posts:
givemesteel · 18/03/2026 18:32

Letsbe · 18/03/2026 15:10

Could you afford to get a cheap van or even better bus and park that outside there house?

Oh god please do this OP! You could start a crowd funder on here for the cheapest van available 🤣

nervousfirsttimer1985 · 18/03/2026 18:32

Hillarious · 18/03/2026 18:18

I guess things started to escalate once the OP asked if the neighbour’s son could not park his van in a space where he was legally entitled to park. That just starts to sour a relationship with the neighbours and the subsequent parking of the spare car in that space just looks to be passive aggressive. The behaviour of the neighbours is just aggressive. Nothing seemingly passive about it at all. But the current situation is just the unintended consequence of the OP’s first unreasonable request about the van.

She asked to just swap it to a car instead, not really asking them not to park at all though. I would record the intimidating behaviour and if it does escalate report to the police.

NewBeginnings77 · 18/03/2026 18:36

Mumsnet every time there's a thread about parking : Buy a cheap runaround and park it in the disputed space/in a way to allow you to get out of the drive/whatever the situation is
OP: I've got a 2nd car and that suits my situation
Mumsnet: How very dare you!!

🙄

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 18:36

WhatSharonSaidNext · 18/03/2026 18:09

You sound as bad as each other. You started it by complaining about not liking looking at their van. Seriously, grow up. And you’ve kept it going because now you’ve decided it’s ok for you to park on the road but not then. You don’t own the road outside your houses. So what if other people on the estate park outside their houses? They still don’t own the space outside and don’t get to dictate who can and can’t park outside their property. These parking wars are pathetic. I mean even going as far as buying your friends old car just to stop someone else parking outside your houses. Absolutely pathetic.

Is it, is it pathetic? Yeah? Sorry, couldn’t quite work out from your post.

OP posts:
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