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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trying to intimidate me over parking issues

272 replies

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 13:59

I live on a small estate where each house has a driveway that can fit 2 cars. There’s also room on the street, so every house can accommodate at least 3 cars. The driveways are single file, which means people sometimes have to move their cars around, but that’s never really been an issue. Just for context, I live alone, so it’s a bit easier for me. I’ve been here for almost 7 years and was quite happy until recently when my lovely neighbours moved away in November. My new neighbours moved in, we introduced ourselves, exchanged greetings when we passed by, and everything seemed fine. However, things took a turn in January when their son (they’re a couple with a son in his 20s) got a transit van for work.

At first, they parked both their cars in the driveway and the van outside their house, swapping them around like everyone else. But a few weeks later, he started parking it outside mine. I figured it was just a one time thing and didn’t think much of it, but then he kept doing it every day, sometimes leaving it parked there for several days in a row. The thing is, my front garden is small, so the van ends up blocking my living room window, and honestly, it’s not great to look at every single day. I didn’t mind him parking there every now and then, but I thought it was a bit inconsiderate to do it all the time while leaving their own window empty. It also meant that my guests had to park further down the road and walk, when before they could park right outside. It’s a public road, so I never told them not to park there, but I did politely ask if they could switch it with one of their cars. They said no because the drive wasn’t wide enough for the van, and if they parked it in front of their house, they’d have to keep moving it to get the cars off the drive.

They were parking one car on the drive and one on the road, so they didn’t have to move either of them. I explained that it blocked my view and wasn’t pleasant to look at all the time, but they just repeated that it wasn’t possible to move it. There’s a small lay-by in the next street (you can see it from both our houses, and you walk through a little alley to get there) that isn’t in front of anyone’s house, so I asked if he could park the van there, but they said it wasn’t possible in case tools got stolen, etc, so that was that, and I never mentioned it up again.

Honestly, it bugged me for a bit and definitely soured the relationship, but there wasn't much I could do, so I just tried to ignore it. Then in February, my friend decided to sell her car. It’s an old Toyota Aygo and was very cheap, so I thought I'd grab it as a little runaround. I live up in the hills which can be a hassle, especially when my car is in the garage as the local bus only comes every two hours, making it difficult to get around and manage work. The car has an MOT until next year, it's taxed and insured, and I've been parking it outside my house. My main car is on the drive. I won’t lie, it was nice not having to see a big van every day too so that was definitely a bonus. A couple of weeks after I parked the car there, my neighbour asked if it was mine. I said yes, and asked if everything was okay. They brought up the van and mentioned it was difficult for them since they had nowhere else to park. I suggested the lay-by again or said they could park outside their own house (like everyone else), but they weren’t happy and asked me to put it on my drive since I wasn’t using it every day. I told them no, sorry, but they have space outside their own house, and I’m parking my car in the space outside mine. I probably could have been nicer about it, but they didn’t seem to care when they were blocking my front window and making it difficult for my guests, so I didn’t have much sympathy for them.

Since then, tensions have been high, and they’ve asked me several times to move my car. Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out), tossing rubbish into my garden, and just generally being rude and trying to intimidate me. The last time I talked to them was on Saturday when they jokingly threatened to tow my car away (I have cameras at the front of my house). They were laughing but I could tell it was a threat. I doubt they would act this way if I had a partner.

Am I being unreasonable for saying that if they keep this up, I’ll call the police?

OP posts:
SandyHappy · 18/03/2026 16:36

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:51

Hold on, they can park their cars anywhere on the road, but I can't? And if I do, I'm just being petty and trying to get a rise out of them? Come on. This is very one sided.

If you've asked politely and they are still leaving a space outside their own house empty to park their massive van in front of yours then I'm totally on your side to park your second car there, fuck them, BUT, there's no point denying that is what you are doing.

If you had a spare car for the sake of having a spare car, it would be tucked on your drive behind the one you use all the time, so it must be obvious to them (and everyone here) that the reason you park in on the road is so they can't, you aren't doing anything wrong though, they should have been more considerate.

Out of interest, how are they managing to encroach on your drive? Is it from the other side of where you park the spare? Will the van not fit outside their house with your spare car there?

EstherGreenwood63 · 18/03/2026 16:37

You are amazing OP and I salute you! Well done! Do report them if any more harassment and keep that log. Oh and ignore the VERY obvious ahem, goaders here to goad a woman who dares stand up to men. They are cunts. ( the neighbours I mean...........) You ROCK! 👏🏼💪🏼😎

Catlady007007 · 18/03/2026 16:39

Out of interest, how are they managing to encroach on your drive? Is it from the other side of where you park the spare? Will the van not fit outside their house with your spare car there?

I'm guessing the length of the van is the length of the available parking space and they park it so its at the edge of her driveway?

At least that is the problem I have when people park outside my house?

EstherGreenwood63 · 18/03/2026 16:39

TheMatildaEffect · 18/03/2026 16:10

Well, as 85% on this thread, and 69% on the other thread mentioned, think the op is not unreasonable, I'd say all the goady posts giving the op grief on here are probably parking their own great big ugly vans outside someone else's house.

Edited

Or something..... 👀

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 16:40

nomas · 18/03/2026 16:17

She hasn't dictated to anyone, it's the neighbours dictating to her that she can't park outside of her own house. Honestly, did you even read the OP?!

Sigh. Yes I did. She asked the neighbours not to park the van outside her house – that's dictating to them. They are now trying to dictate to her. It's tit-for-tat.

Oh, and it's not misogynistic to disagree with a course of action. It's a difference of opinion.

Woodfiresareamazing · 18/03/2026 16:40

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 16:26

I won’t post a photo of the van for obvious reasons, but it’s similar to this but grey and has signage on it.

I wouldn't want this outside my living room window either.

Figcherry · 18/03/2026 16:40

@crispsbutty you can buy a movement alarm to put inside your car that sets an alarm off. Not expensive, on Amazon.

gillefc82 · 18/03/2026 16:40

@crispsbutty It’s petty and I respect it, but please own it as such.

You’ve explained the configuration of the driveways mean you could quite easily park this spare car on your drive and that, given it’s a spare that you’d only need to use if your primary vehicle was in the garage, there’d be none of the issues other neighbours have with needing to move and shift cars around to get out of their driveways. Instead you’ve parked it in front of your house knowing your neighbours have been using that space regularly - it can’t be a surprise their noses are out of joint.

None of that justifies their reaction (throwing rubbish etc), but I don’t buy the faux surprise from you.

TheDenimPoet · 18/03/2026 16:40

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 14:08

I know that, but everyone on the street parks in front of their own homes, and the only other people who park there occasionally are guests. We’re not close to the town center or a big city, so we don’t get random people parking here. It’s just the residents or their friends and family.

It still doesn't matter. It might be selfish of them, morally, but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

BruFord · 18/03/2026 16:41

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:47

Well she's reserving it for her runaround now, so it's never going to be resolved!

@Passingthrough123 She's following the normal etiquette on her road which is that everyone parks on their own drives or right outside their house. If all the other neighbors do that, why can’t these people do the same?

If the OP was a big burly man or had a big burly OP/sons, I doubt they’d be behaving like this, they’re harassing her.

Newgirls · 18/03/2026 16:41

They are 100 % in the wrong. They need to live somewhere with far more space so they can house all their vehicles and van. Nightmare neighbours. Cheering you on OP. Don’t be bullied.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 18/03/2026 16:43

ChangeAgainAgainAgain · 18/03/2026 14:28

I'll be honest and say I think it's ridiculously petty to go to the lengths of buying, taxing, MoTing and insuring a car just to stop your neighbours from parking on the street outside your house.

That said, you have every right to park there, just as they had every right to park there when the space was free. It is unreasonable for them to keep asking you to move your car, just as it was unreasonable for you to keep asking them to move their legally parked van.

Edited

This, I think both parties are being petty.

SandyHappy · 18/03/2026 16:43

Catlady007007 · 18/03/2026 16:39

Out of interest, how are they managing to encroach on your drive? Is it from the other side of where you park the spare? Will the van not fit outside their house with your spare car there?

I'm guessing the length of the van is the length of the available parking space and they park it so its at the edge of her driveway?

At least that is the problem I have when people park outside my house?

I assumed this bit from the OP meant this is what they doing now with her spare car parked on the road, could be misunderstanding though!:

Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out)

Surely they can't still be parking the van there, so just wondering if they are taking to parking the other side, or if she means something else?

Catlady007007 · 18/03/2026 16:44

TheDenimPoet · 18/03/2026 16:40

It still doesn't matter. It might be selfish of them, morally, but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

But there is.....

You can buy an old banger as the OP has done.

Fast800goingforit · 18/03/2026 16:44

Ignore them and keep a log of their behaviour/incidents. If the son was really bothered about tools in his van, he'd park on the drive and have a lockable bollard preventing the back doors from being opened, or reverse on. Like you say, they're trying to intimidate you and whilst you can't choose who parks outside your house on a public road, they were unneighbourly not to move the van. Presumably because they don't like seeing it through their own living room window.

Nesbi · 18/03/2026 16:45

I have much sympathy OP! For months we had a neighbour parking a van right outside our window (instead of their own). It’s awful, made the room feel darker and more oppressive, we lost any sense of a view. Fortunately they eventually moved away, but I lost count of the number of times I wished I could have parked a normal car there instead!

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 16:46

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 16:26

I won’t post a photo of the van for obvious reasons, but it’s similar to this but grey and has signage on it.

But it wouldn't be that close to your window if parked on the street at the end of a two-cars-long driveway?

CautiousLurker2 · 18/03/2026 16:49

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 14:16

Thank you that's a great idea. I've told them multiple times that the car is allowed to be parked on the road, but they just keep rambling on about the van. They could easily shift the van if they want to get the cars off the driveway (like everyone else has to) but they won't. It's really just laziness.

Just to add to this, I’d get a Ring doorbell so that you can record them littering and blocking your drive - it’s actually an offence to obstruct a driveway with a car parked on it and with a dropped curb. You can then send them a cease and desist letter stating that if they persist you will send your video evidence and report them to the council and the police.

m00rfarm · 18/03/2026 16:49

babasaclover · 18/03/2026 14:46

@crispsbuttyyou have to admit you bought it to annoy them. No one has a spare car to use just in case 😂. That said if you’ve got footage of them throwing rubbish etc report them. That’s not on

I do. I have my work car, and then I have a spare cheap car that I use when my car is in the garage or friends use it if they are visiting.

bumptybum · 18/03/2026 16:50

babasaclover · 18/03/2026 14:46

@crispsbuttyyou have to admit you bought it to annoy them. No one has a spare car to use just in case 😂. That said if you’ve got footage of them throwing rubbish etc report them. That’s not on

We do

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/03/2026 16:51

Ha, well done you for playing them at their own game. I love that! Bet they are raging, lol. Keep a log of any incidents and report them. You are both equally allowed to park on the road so they can just suck it up, lol.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 18/03/2026 16:51

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 16:16

It's not that I'm upset by it. I've got pretty thick skin. But, it's not a pleasant atmosphere to be around, and I really just want them to leave me alone now. Any sort of relationship is done, so I'd prefer to keep my distance and keep to myself. I've lived here for a few years and have always gotten along with my neighbours. This is the first issue I've faced since I moved in 7 years ago. There are other families around with vans, big vans, and they all park in front of their own homes or on their driveways, really considerate and respectful of everyone else. I get that they can park wherever they like, but come on, it’s pretty rubbish for someone to just leave a huge van right outside their neighbours window while their own space is empty.

Every now and then, ok, but, doing it every single day is a different story. And then to threaten and intimidate someone just because they dare to use the space is ridiculous. I never told them they couldn't park there. I politely asked if they could switch vehicles. I was nice about it and accepted their 'no' when they said it. They didn't want to help me or, in my opinion, do the decent thing, so why should I go out of my way to help them now? Should I just give in to bullies because I'm a single woman who wants a peaceful life? I don't think so. If you don’t agree, fair enough.

Exactly. They don't want the van blocking their view, they think they can just force it on you instead as they think they are above others. There is no way they would have chosen your house as their van parking spot had you been a big bloke. Glad you have taken a stand against selfish arseholes. Hope all will die down when they realise you are not going to back down.

All van drivers around here know it is very miserable to be feeling shut in and having windows blocked by a big van, and their van so their issue. They either park them outside their own house or the areas where there are no windows. With cars it is different, anyone parks anywhere (we don't have drives)

SingtotheCat · 18/03/2026 16:52

Have you got an intimidating male relative or friend who could stay with you for a bit?
You are not at fault here and you can have their van towed if it’s hanging over your driveway.
zero tolerance for intimidating a woman living on her own. They sound awful, OP.

nomas · 18/03/2026 16:55

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 16:40

Sigh. Yes I did. She asked the neighbours not to park the van outside her house – that's dictating to them. They are now trying to dictate to her. It's tit-for-tat.

Oh, and it's not misogynistic to disagree with a course of action. It's a difference of opinion.

Sigh. You didn't read it properly. She asked them. They said no. She didn't dictate anything. She accepted it.

They are the ones bullying her for saying no to moving her car. They have asked her several times instead of accepting her answer. They're illegally partly obstructing her drive. They're tossing rubbish into her garden. They threatened to tow her car away.

So you didn't read it properly.

And if you think the neighbours are right then there is definite misogyny at play here,

hollytheheroic · 18/03/2026 16:58

you bought the car just so you could park it thereand piss them off, but I'm here for it 😆

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