AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

[NewNameForThisWWYD]

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

When she asked for it for free, she was laughing but clearly testing the water. She was very serious about a cheaper rent though. Her partner was bad with money so although she earns quite well, she doesn’t have much in savings and has some costs for one of her children, due to a medical condition, that takes up a big chunk of her wage each month which I sympathise with.

I have decided to say no and deal with the family fallout if it happens. I do feel guilty for the children and I have sympathy for her being cheated on but you’re all right that it could end up causing too many problems. My husband has said to say that it’s his decision and then hopefully she’ll aim all her anger at him which he won’t care about.

Thanks for all the replies.

Exactly this. She's made her opinion crystal clear so best she doesnt rent eh? 😂

Your rentals are your business. Don't mix business and family. Say no.

This is the right decision.

You have saved yourself years of aggro.

I think you've made the right decision.

Rewarding someone who treats you nastily and then has the nerve to ask for your rental for free or at a discount is just being a doormat and showing you'll tolerate being treated like shit.

She won’t kill her with kindness, she’ll create an even bigger monster that resents OP even more. Someone like that will hate the fact that she’s reliant on the charity of OP (and the power she’ll perceive OP as having over her) and will project that onto her. She won’t appreciate it.

This will not be delicious for OP. At all.

Most tenants think LL are exploiting them and I can understand that.
But this woman - a woman who is old enough to have children and presumably realises we live in a capitalist society - has expressed this belief in order to insult a family member on a regular basis.
Unlike the OP, who is clearly of a more generous disposition than me, I doubt that this woman would pay the rent.
She knows all she has to do is move in and stop paying and the 'exploitative' OP will have a hard time getting her out. I mean, why would you give money to someone who you believe is exploiting you? The woman's mindset is enough in itself to make it clear that the OP should say no as many times as she needs for this woman gets the message that she is not moving in.

Do not rent to family.. My dad rented to my sister she felt she was entitled now 10k in arrears and having to go through the eviction process and cost to get her out! Trust your gut and tell her no.

I think it's the right decision and good for your DH saying blame him. But what reason(s) are you going to give, if any? Because this won't be the end of it, she and her flying monkeys will argue back and you need to be prepared for this to go on for some time.

It's a hard no. You dont owe her anything. Its a business not a charity.

It’s one of those situations where you do a good turn and come out of it the bad guy. Just cut out the middle bit and ‘hard no’ it.
As other posters have suggested tell her it is already taken when work finished. Good luck.

Believe me, you won't regret that decision in the long run. You have save yourself a shed load of grief.

Sorry but why doesn't your husband just say no... instead of you telling them it's his decision? Am I missing some context why he wouldn't contact her directly?

Say no, she’ll just refuse to pay rent.

I'd just tell her you have already promised this property to another person once the work is complete.

Wishing you good luck

It’s still a no from me even though she has children. You need to think about how difficult it would be to evict her if she couldn’t pay the rent or damaged the property. She has shown you that she isn’t a nice person or that she will be respectful towards you.

The new renters rights laws will make it more expensive and difficult to evict tenants. It’s absolutely right that tenants will have more protection but if I were a landlord I would be extra careful about who I rented to right now.

Well done. Get it actioned ASAP.

None of her life struggles are for you to alleviate. The DCs have 2 grown arsed adults to fend for them - any help you provide let’s these two entitled flakes off the hook and you are inadvertently enabling them and enmeshing yourself with a toxic situation which will only escalate as the divorce kicks in.

If she begs or asks why - just repeat the one more time only. “Because it doesn’t work for us” - if she asks again ignore.

Expect her to send in the family flying monkeys to pressurise you to change your mind - tell them you have already communicated with her directly, won’t be changing your mind or explaining further and don’t appreciate this approach.

Also expect there to be some sort of emergency / crisis where she needs accommodation urgently…..don’t be fooled, manipulated or triggered.

The sooner you get another contract signed the sooner you get her off your back.

Stand strong against the CFs!!!

Is it worth the trouble if you say yes?

No way. Never.

She has been openly rude to you. The problem is not the actual rudeness as you can shrug that off. The problem is that it indicates clearly that she’s going to be a total and utter cheeky fucker.

I mean really who thinks it’s ok to be rude? I’ll tell you who - it’s the person who thinks that they can stop paying rent. And maybe thinks you eventually ought to just gift them the property.

Say no.

Deffo say no. And how would they even find out you have a property due to be available soon anyway.

Agree. Short pain, long gain with saying no now…..alternatively years of CFxckery, resentment, frustration ahead - and guess what you all fall out in the end anyway - but the losses will be greater.

With the new legislation coming in at the end of this month it would be really difficutlt to be rid of her if she proves to be the tenant from hell. If she has the kind of atttude you imply she will be constantly asking for things and carelessly breaking things which need to be replaced.

The simplest is to say you already have a tenant lined up and have spent time and money on credit and financial checks. Your new tenant will be paying market rate as you have to recoup the cost of refurbishment.

Been there, done that. I don't not reccomend.

And mine wasn't even as bad as yours. Given her opinions she isn't going to pay and isn't going to give it back. If family are getting involved it'll be alot worse when you have to force her out.

Say someone has already signed for it, you didn't know as its dealt with by the estate agent.

I think I said in an earlier post that I deal with all the properties. This is my job and my husband works full time. I’ve obviously discussed it with him as she is his relative, but this is my thing, not his. He is also away for work at the moment, she asked me and I said I’d let her know this week. Once I’ve said no, if there are any issues, it becomes a family issue not a business one, so he can deal with it.