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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 18/03/2026 20:23

This is your living, you’re not a charity. She’s been awful to you, why on earth would you do her any favours? If she badmouths you, swiftly remind anyone who raises her shitty comments what she’s said about you.

Alternatively, tell her you’re turning it into an HMO/selling it (and she can buy it at mark value-watch her run) or you’re moving in yourself.

TheKitchenLady · 18/03/2026 20:46

I've a friend with a couple of rental properties. She has a hard and fast rule that she doesn't rent to friends or family as it avoids future potential issues. As you don't have a good relationship with this person anyway, don't even entertain becoming her landlord.

JeannieJo · 18/03/2026 21:16

No. No. No. No. No. No. Never! She sounds a nightmare and will become and even bigger nightmare and you’ll never be rid of her. Go with your gut. Find an excuse.

Doctor1988 · 18/03/2026 21:24

No way!

Abitofalark · 18/03/2026 21:38

IrishSelkie · 18/03/2026 15:35

It’s too bad section 21s are going away because, I would rent to her at the lower end of market rate if section 21s were still around. It would mean I could easily evict her if things didn’t work out. I do wonder if her marriage being toxic caused some of her comments and unpleasantness. Plus, if I didn’t, then it would kind of prove her points?

But with no section 21s allowed in the UK now, it would be too risky, so you’re not unreasonable to just say no.

Housing legislation is a devolved matter so arrangements may vary between the constituent parts of the UK. The new Renters' Rights Act abolishes section 21 evictions in England.

SueblueNZ · 18/03/2026 23:05

@Rizzz I have read your latest update saying you have decided not to rent. I think that is a fantastic decision.
If you do change your mind on that, I would suggest you say that she will need to pay market rent and to sign the usual formal tenancy agreement - maybe send her a copy in advance. This would cover what will happen if she defaults on rent etc.
The one concession you might make is that you will not charge her the normal security deposit. This should save her several hundred quid. You have said you have confidence she won't trash the place. You could also say that should she want to become your tenant you will not tolerate her criticism of your rental business.

Rizzz · 18/03/2026 23:18

SueblueNZ · 18/03/2026 23:05

@Rizzz I have read your latest update saying you have decided not to rent. I think that is a fantastic decision.
If you do change your mind on that, I would suggest you say that she will need to pay market rent and to sign the usual formal tenancy agreement - maybe send her a copy in advance. This would cover what will happen if she defaults on rent etc.
The one concession you might make is that you will not charge her the normal security deposit. This should save her several hundred quid. You have said you have confidence she won't trash the place. You could also say that should she want to become your tenant you will not tolerate her criticism of your rental business.

You’ve tagged me by accident here.

SueblueNZ · 18/03/2026 23:19

Rizzz · 18/03/2026 23:18

You’ve tagged me by accident here.

Ah, so I have. Should have been @NewNameForThisWWYD

Whatthefork1 · 19/03/2026 07:45

I would absolutely say no!! The fact you don’t even like her and she causes so many issues is enough. Let alone the fact she’s cheeky enough to ask to rent it for free. Take no notice of other family members putting pressure on you, it isn’t their issue.

Me and my DH are also landlords and in the nicest way possible, I don’t think I’d ever rent to family members!

whoopsnomore · 19/03/2026 08:34

It really doesn't work to mix family/ friendships/ (even acquaintances) with business, or anything financial so on those grounds, I think you are right. Stay firm and maybe use that as an additional point , though your mind seems pretty clearly made up already.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 19/03/2026 08:50

@NewNameForThisWWYD
For a multitude of reasons you are doing the right thing.

I can confidently say in almost any universe any fallout now will be less harmful / negatively impacting than the long term implications of agreeing would have been

fataroundthemiddle · 19/03/2026 09:00

Why even consider it?

IsItSummerSoon · 19/03/2026 09:05

100% made the right decision. There will be a fallout now, but if you’d said yes you’d have various fall outs in the future and be stuck in an ongoing saga. I’d rather take the hit now and be done with it.

DragonsAndDaffs · 19/03/2026 09:11

I would rather deal with the fall out of refusing than have her as a tenant!

myheadsjustmush · 19/03/2026 09:42

A very wise decision @NewNameForThisWWYD

I really do think you have saved yourselves a lot of heartache and aggravation by saying no.

SummerFrog2026 · 19/03/2026 11:25

@NewNameForThisWWYD

Good decision! I hope you stick to it & don't get swayed!! Tell her ASAP, dwelling on it will only drag it out for you. If you feel yourself dithering remember how awful she was to you & about you having rental properties!!

Allowingthebreezethroughmyhair · 19/03/2026 13:52

Did the CF argue when you said no?

TwinklySquid · 19/03/2026 19:06

Offer to rent it too her at market rate. She clearly doesn’t want that so hopefully she’ll say no.

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 19/03/2026 19:13

I would say no. Don't mix business/money with family. Youll be damned if you do and damned if you don't rent to her. Might as well, bite the bullet and say no that way she will just moan that your heartless.

Shes going to bitch about you anyway. Probably about the house, the rent, decor... she sounds like a handful..then because she's family, you can't remove her cos you'll be seen as the bad guy. Sounds like hassle which you don't need.

keffie12 · 19/03/2026 21:57

My God no don't do this. Given her past behaviour she will no doubt treat the property badly, you will probably struggle to get the rent from her and you will find it difficult to get her out to if you need too.

Also if for example she lost her job Universal credit will not pay the rent as the property is owned by family. I know this is a fact. It didn't used to be like that. However it is now.

Tell her to go to the council. Housing options will have to help her as she a woman with children

Redragtoabull · 19/03/2026 22:03

Absofuckinglutely not!
Fuck what she and the other relatives think.
Let them take her in if they're so concerned. CF's

Imisssleep88 · 20/03/2026 08:00

I wouldn't personally do it, it won't end well I fear. Just say sorry you have already signed a contract with new tenants for when work is complete and let her sort herself out some other way. If she has been horrible in the past she doesn't deserve your help. She will underpay/not pay I guarantee and you will struggle to get her out.

UnderstatedChaos · 20/03/2026 09:09

Why would you rent to her below market rent? If you don't get on very well anyway I think even renting to her at market rate has disaster written all over it, she'll be a nightmare tenant and will turn the family against you off the back of it. So your family will fallout with you whether you rent to her or not, may as well not have the house headache and be out of pocket too. People can put pressure on you all they like, you aren't obliged to house family members.

deeahgwitch · 20/03/2026 19:29

You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t @NewNameForThisWWYD
That’s why I wouldn’t.
She’ll be the tenant from hell.

dh280125 · 22/03/2026 14:21

Of course you must say no. She has no respect for what you do. Expecting you to help is pure hypocrisy.