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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
Tontostitis · 22/03/2026 14:25

We did this it was a horrific mistake didn't get rent for nearly a year then just got it sporadically meanwhile we were having to pay all the council tax and everything else because it's not worth putting it in our name we're only going to be there a month or two maybe. And to cap it all most of his family think we're absolutely awful even though we lost a fortune. I pointed out to his mum we were living in my house and had been renting his house out to pay the bills. She actually said you paid the bills before you met him you can obviously afford it on your own.

TLDR:
Relative wasn't grateful didn't pay.

Sophue · 22/03/2026 14:29

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 13:01

When she asked for it for free, she was laughing but clearly testing the water. She was very serious about a cheaper rent though. Her partner was bad with money so although she earns quite well, she doesn’t have much in savings and has some costs for one of her children, due to a medical condition, that takes up a big chunk of her wage each month which I sympathise with.

I have decided to say no and deal with the family fallout if it happens. I do feel guilty for the children and I have sympathy for her being cheated on but you’re all right that it could end up causing too many problems. My husband has said to say that it’s his decision and then hopefully she’ll aim all her anger at him which he won’t care about.

Thanks for all the replies.

Difficult decision, as there may be a fallout from it, but I think you've made the right one.Now you need to stand by it and not be swayed.

chaoticred · 22/03/2026 15:23

Renting to friends/family never ends well. Even worse that you already have a poor relationship with her. I understand you feel for the kids but if you didn’t have the house available then what would she do then? They will make do… this is just the easy option and people love a bit of emotional manipulation!

IShouldNotBeSurprised · 23/03/2026 19:04

Sounds like she has a lot of people on her side; they can all pitch in and subsidize her.

I agree with so many others, doing this will end up being a nightmare for you. I'm glad to see you've decided to say no. I think it's a very wise decision.

LondonRidge · 24/03/2026 09:42

Tontostitis · 22/03/2026 14:25

We did this it was a horrific mistake didn't get rent for nearly a year then just got it sporadically meanwhile we were having to pay all the council tax and everything else because it's not worth putting it in our name we're only going to be there a month or two maybe. And to cap it all most of his family think we're absolutely awful even though we lost a fortune. I pointed out to his mum we were living in my house and had been renting his house out to pay the bills. She actually said you paid the bills before you met him you can obviously afford it on your own.

TLDR:
Relative wasn't grateful didn't pay.

Oh my word this is awful!!! Are you even speaking to them?

and of course it was your fault not DO

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/03/2026 10:41

I would say yes but be market rent - why should you be out of pocket

but have a years contract or even 6mths so can ask to leave if annoying

Gossipisgood · 24/03/2026 13:18

I'd probably let her rent it but at full market costs to save the children having to move schools & save family fall outs with others. Make it clear to her though that it's a business arrangement & have her sign a Tenancy Agreement. Could you rent to her short term until you have other tenants lined up?

Also when discussing things remind her of her attitude to you being Landlords & say it's just as well you are & have a property she can rent as she'd be up the river without a paddle otherwise & ask her in future to keep her opinions to her self regarding your business.

MimiGC · 24/03/2026 15:56

Why does she and the children have to move out and not her cheating husband?!

AnotherForumUser · 24/03/2026 16:20

MimiGC · 24/03/2026 15:56

Why does she and the children have to move out and not her cheating husband?!

The OP describes him in several posts as a partner rather than a husband. It may be that it is solely his house (e.g. he owns the property or is the legal tenant). If that's the case the SIL is in a much more difficult situation than if they'd been married.

Londonrach1 · 24/03/2026 16:24

No! It be impossible to remove her once she moves in. Never mix business with family and friends.

EllaMozarella · 24/03/2026 16:27

Fuck, no

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