AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

[NewNameForThisWWYD]

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

It's very rare for me to be on the side of a landlord (come across too many bad ones in the course of my work), but in this case, I think you'd be entirely justified in saying no, OP!

She's one cheeky fucker, constantly having a go at you for being a LL and then wanting you to be her LL! And the last thing you want is a cheeky fucker for a tenant.

Oh this sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.
What happens if she just stops paying rent and refuses to move out. Whathappens if tou rent it to her for free and then need to sell it due to personal circimstances. What about if she trashes the place. What about maintence issues, if you dont fix them in time or if tbere is an issue and you think ahe is a fault
Given ahe has not been reasonable in the past then it sounds like a headache for the future.

Don’t do it. If you charge her anything, she probably won’t pay anything anyway. If you let her live there for free then what’s in it for you? She doesn’t like you anyway so maybe this is a way to get her to stop talking to you completely 😂 What an absolute cheeky fucker!!

Ah sorry, I must have missed that earlier.
That makes sense then.

this

It’s a firm no.
Unless you can afford & want to give her the house for free, don’t expect your rent on time or without hassle. Your kindness will end up backfiring spectacularly. I’d tell her no. If the family want her to have free accommodation that badly, maybe they can put her up.

Is it his sister?

I wouldn't have this woman in my life at all, let alone rent her a house.

Your doing the right thing in regards to not letting her rent your house. She has been nasty and disrespectful to you and your husband in the past about being landlords.
My feeling is that she has a chip on her shoulder about you having other properties but has no idea of the time it took for you to save the deposits and how you went without to do this.
Then with being a landlord there are a lot of rules, regulations and taxes to pay so being honest you can't afford to give her cheap rent ect.
She would stop paying her rent or be ringing you constantly with ever minor thing that wrong. Then if you tried to evict her she tell all the relatives about it and cause more trouble.

Your better off getting that house fixed and renting it out at full market rate to good tenants or you may decide to sell it due to the new rules coming in. Going forward I would keep quite about any homes you decide to buy or sell.
I left my lesson years ago about keeping quite about certain things.

“You have made your contempt for our roles as landlords very clear so we don’t believe it’s a good idea that we become yours”

OP, absolutely not. If she thinks you should be letting it to her for free, I guarantee she’ll default on the rent, while expecting you to make good every tiny piece of wear and tear. You really do not need the aggravation she will bring to your life - don’t even entertain the idea of letting it to her. You’ll rue the day if you do.

Absolutely no!
You'll never get rid of her!

Just say unfortunately you don’t have a property available at the moment . End of .

Expect her to send in the family flying monkeys to pressurise you to change your mind - tell them you have already communicated with her directly, won’t be changing your mind or explaining further and don’t appreciate this approach

Also expect there to be some sort of emergency / crisis where she needs accommodation urgently…..don’t be fooled, manipulated or triggered

Wise words right there, @Ballah

OP's made the right decision, but someone who's already chosen to be this unpleasant is unlikely to appreciate being told no and it's best to be prepared

Edited to add that personally i'd also tell her exactly why she's not getting the place, @Lurker85 However, having saved herself a lot of grief already, OP may well feel there's no point creating more.

Just shrug off any drama they try and create. It really is that easy. Let them get on with whatever whining they want to do, you don’t have to engage or even pay any attention to it whatsoever.

As uncomfortable as you may find it, embrace the discomfort and get through it. It will be far less uncomfortable in the long run to do so. If you show them that emotional manipulation and kicking up a fuss works to get them what they want, they’ll have you over the proverbial barrel, and keep you there.

Yup. It's almost like she thinks OP might want to redeem herself from this status of being a greedy landlord (according to her, very openly) by giving her a free flipping house?!

I’d be saying something like

“this was a difficult decision as over the years you’ve repeatedly been nasty about us having rental properties and have always sought to try and make an argument out of it. It’s rather ironic therefore that you’ve now turned to us for help.

However as you are family and we don’t want the children to suffer, we are willing to rent the property to you at a 10% discount on market rate, with proper contracts in place.”

That way you’re doing the decent thing but have made your point about her behaviour .

Under these circumstances, no way in hell. Normally I would be more sympathetic. It insane that she has a good salary and they expect her to not pay any rent.

She will be a nightmare tenant. It's ok to not mix business with family.

This is so easy Op. your dh is on board. I would so very gladly say NO and also point out to her that she has been very horrible about your properties yet wants to use it now. Nasty people should never be rewarded with a hand up in life. Don’t let the family bully you. You will never ever get her out once she’s in.

You already know she’s argumentative and is looking for cheaper/free rent. I wouldn’t trust her to actually pay and not cause any problems and if she does then you’re gonna have even more family drama issues.

I have had very similar issues and it’s awful feeling like everyone’s against you even though you’re trying your best at life. I wouldn’t reward their bullying by helping them.

Perfect response!

Been there, done that. Just don’t! We offered to help a relative as I’ve always felt that you should always try to back family. It was an unmitigated disaster and any semblance of a relationship destroyed. The fallout from saying no now won’t be half as bad as the fallout from having to get them evicted eventually (after they’ve decided you’re capitalist scum for helping them out). Genuinely ‘no’ is the only answer here!

I would say no, and I would explain why. Shes dissed you all these years and now expects help, nope doesn’t work like that

added to which with all these new rules she will be difficult to get out if something goes wrong

she can pay market rate elsewhere

you reap what you sow

Exactly. Separate the rental business from the family business. Then your husband and the other involved family members consider how they can help her through this rough patch and the children from then on. You want to remain free from entanglement but can be supportive of husband in recognising his sense of family solidarity and concern for the children.