AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

[NewNameForThisWWYD]

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

Are you paying the relative doing the house renovation or are they doing it for free or at reduced rates? That may influence my vote but despite the emotional blackmail I would be inclined to say no. A no is a one off no but imagine the weekly complaints about the shower, digs about rent etc or the problems of trying to get her out if the rent is below market rent. Ask yourself do you need the stress or do you deserve it?

Exactly, she will maybe pay once then stop and you will have awful problems getting her out. She will know all the tricks in the squatters' handbook, it will drag on for years and you'll be left with a wrecked property.

Say no. If you need to add an explanation say rely on the property for income to cover outgoings so you can't rent it out at a reduced rate or to anyone who doesn't have references and guarantees for the full rent. Or you prefer to keep family and business separate.

She sounds like a CF. Whatever rent you charged her I bet you'd never see much of it.

@NewNameForThisWWYD renting to relatives is always a risk. It might cause ill feeling now if you don't but equally would cause every bit as much ill feeling if they stopped paying the rent and you had to evict.
Renting out property is a commercial decision. If you've set a precedent before of helping out a friend, your best option is probably to say that she can rent it at just below market rent as goodwill, but that landlord costs have risen so much that you can't do more than that.
She can then agree or not, but if she does at least the tenancy is on a proper commercial footing.

OMG NO!! She’d be a nightmare about every little thing and you have THE WHOLE family on your case about it all as well.

Say no and don’t give it another thought, and definitely don’t feel guilty at all.

Gotta love the hypocrisy!

And that's what she is counting on, emotional blackmail. If you owned a shoe shop would you let her help herself to your stock without paying? If other family members are involving themselves in what's not their business then let them take her in for free.

Agree with this.

Set it out formally.

Initial deposit ( to be held correctly so no giving it back when the relative needs it a month down the line)

Full rental for a refurbished house - relative to sign as a legal guarantor in the event of non payment

Council tax

Responsibility for paying all utilities.

Maintenance of the garden.

Contents insurance for their personal belongings.

Say if the pushy relative is willing to take on responsibility for these charges then you will consider mean woman as a tenant - the next time you have a suitable 3 bedroom property available.

Just imagine how much worse it will be when you have to take her to court because she's calling the shots - sometimes via mutual relatives - and that's the only way to get her out, or to pay the rent you set rather than the rent she and her supporters think you should set.
This is one of those situations where it's better to risk death to avoid being a hostage where everything is much worse for much longer and ends in death anyway.
Bite the bullet. Say no.

I avoid mixing family and finances if possible.

But - if you choose, you can rent to here, especially if you think it will help her children. But you need to have a proper, professional contract written up as this could cause friction.

If she were a total stranger - would she be considered a good tenant? That may be a better way to look at it. Take the family dynamic out of the decision-making.

I’d tell her no and tell her because she’s morally opposed to people that rent out property, she needs to buy a home for herself.
Don’t reward her poor behaviour and rudeness.

Renting a property to someone is a long term and serious business activity. Don't mix business and family as one will always suffer.

YANBU if you want to avoid the stress of mixing business with family/ family politics.

Say no. Tell them you don't mix business and family.

Never do business with family and certainly not this rude CF.

I'd say no, even at market rent, because she sounds as though she'd be a trrible tenant - and would probably not pay you rent anyway.

And your answer to her when she makes digs about landlords, is to say that you rent out the house at a reasonable rate to families who are not in a position to buy a house. You're offering a necessary service.

I rent out a house to a family who could not afford to buy such a nice, large house as the one I rent to them (at a slightly under market rate because it's a family & they're good tenants).

Bit edited to add: you will likely have to steel yourself to even more abuse from her at family events, or resign yourself to being excluded from your DH's family events.

Hard no. You'll never get rid of her.

If she’s earning well above average wage then why doesn’t she just buy?
id be very wary of renting to her given your not on best terms and once she’s in it could be very difficult to get her out due to the new landlord rules coming in.

Absolutely not. No.

For the sake of the children, I would offer her the house that is too large at the market rate via a registered real estate agent
.
State that it is an exception (usually wouldn't rent out to relatives) due to the children having to cope with a rotten situation, and that it is temporary until she finds a smaller home.

Deposit paid, contracts written and signed as if she were a stranger renting your house - with two huge differences:

• Written into the contract allow her to move out with short notice (two weeks) as you understand her need is for a smaller home.
• And, when she does leave, resolve to refund her deposit in full; because she is a relative.

Renting out properties has become increasingly more hazardous than previously, hence many people getting out of the game. I know someone who took their tenant to court for non-payment of rent with a view to evicting them and the judge gave the tenant a whole year to leave because of the sob story: that’s a year where they’re getting no rental income!

Renting to relatives is adding an extra layer of stress. She is already guilt-tripping you and feels aggrieved that you get money for renting out a property. How much more aggrieved will she be once it’s her money being paid? She may be grateful at the beginning but gratitude often soon turns to entitlement further down the line. Can you imagine trying to deal with relatives reactions to you taking her to court and trying to evict her. It would be out of sight worse. If they believe in subsidising her then they should be doing it out of their pockets. People are always very willing to volunteer other people for things that don’t affect them!

Some councils try and word it like an absolute ban as it’s easier than trying to police it.

Properly set up tenancies, especially with landlords who’ve been renting previously, are absolutely allowed.

contrived tenancies set up just to have HB paying the rent when the landlord isn’t actually charging or would actually throw the tenants out aren’t allowed.

No, say it’s a business. Nothing worse. You’d never get her out if you wanted to

It depends on how close the relative is if it's your DH husband and your nieces and nephews are the children I think I would rent it to them, but for full market rent and usual vetting process, deposit etc. But keep it formal and business like and be prepared to push back against unreasonable requests for replacement fittings etc once they are in. If it's a cousin or similar then that would be different. You have already mixed family with business by having a relative tradesperson work on the property and if it's genuinely empty then I don't see why you wouldn't if DH is relaxed either way.

This!!!

If you do rent to her you have to assume you’ll not be paid rent. She absolutely sounds like the “well the children needed school shoes and I know you can afford it so it’s just one month” type.

Also check your landlord insurance. I had to change mine when I realised my tenant was actually my cousin (I have had no contact with my mother’s family since I was 7 so I didn’t know) as the one I had had a blanket no relatives policy.