AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

[NewNameForThisWWYD]

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

Absolutely not and if anyone has an issue with it they're free to let her move in there !

I would not start giving reasons.....reasons offer an opening for people to provide solutions......If you have to say something raher that sorry that won't work for us, I'd use the mixing business and family reason.

If you think she will pay then rent it out to her, but looking at what you wrote she sounds like a trouble maker.
If you decide ro rent, your hubby needs to have a word with her and point it out that he has these properties due to hard work and being smart with your choices and she has no right to be pissy and judgemental with either of you. Especially if she comes out later on asking to help her out afterwards.

This has got disaster written all over it;

• you've paid to have work done to it, so if she leaves any of it damaged it'll be even worse as it'll have been freshly renovated
• it doesn't sound like you all get on anyway
• she wants it cheap which will automatically make you annoyed any time she raises any issues (even if they're reasonable issues)
• if you need to chase for rent or if there's a depute over a deposit (will she even pay a deposit) the whole family will take sides and you won't get your money without fracturing the relationships.

I'd go with a simple "I'm really sorry we don't want to mix business and family/money and family". I'd leave it to your husband to deliver the message too - she is his stakeholder. If he cares about her/wants to be nice, offer support with moving instead (box packing/carrying, looking after her kids, maybe if you have good relationships through your houses with tradespeople you can recommend people to her). Providing a home is beyond a normal level of family support. It's a shame, but you reap what you sow and she sounds like a nightmare to deal with day-to-day let alone if she's living in your home for cheap!!

Totally agree with you saying no to her. She'd either stop paying rent completely or she'd find so many things wrong with the house she'd be an absolute nightmare.

I'm a landlord and I'd honestly be very nervous of renting to a relative I actually like, nevermind someone that's actually been nasty to me.

The amount of trouble that you would be creating for yourself is not worth it.

"I'm afraid we've already lined up a tenant and I'm sure you wouldn't want us to be unethical landlords and pull it out from under them"

There's no reason to say yes, you'd be losing money for someone who doesn't like you. No thanks

Renting to her would be an acto of self harm. I say that as a landlord. Unless you are a card carrying masochist do not do it.

Definitely a no. Anything else would put you on the path to much too much grief.

Always separate family and business. Unless it's someone who absolutely respects it's a business.
E.g. my cousin's husband is a lawyer. I'm a paying customer.

Hi OP.

If your house is mortgaged on a BTL, a condition of that will often be that you don’t rent to family.

There is your reason if you need one.

Best not to rent to family anyway I would say. Makes boundaries blurred and will be very difficult if there are issues with rent etc. With the changes coming in, it would also be very difficult to get her out…..

Just say no . She sounds like trouble

I would if I could trust her to pay rent, look after the property and do it all properly with a contract, deposit up front. No discount, at least not any major discount. Ultimately it would come down to trust.

Do you want to give your house away?
Because thats what you'd be doing.

She won't pay anything and she'll never move out.

If you let her move in due to pressure from others, imagine what they'd say if you tried to evict her?

Or she saves her money, ignores the bleating, and just lets them get on with making a fuss amongst themselves. Let them think what they like.

OP doesn’t need to prove herself to them in any way. Their biological family member has no qualms about saying no, so not sure why OP thinks she needs to either.

OP, it’s good your husband is prepared to carry the load of the decision but I think if it was me I’d hold the line that it was a joint decision, and if you want to give a reason, it was made because family and business shouldn’t mix. End of conversation…..no further discussion.

Nobody knows if she would be a perfect tenant or a nightmare but family and business of this sort is rarely a good mix and being pressurised by other family members would make me even more determined to stick my heels in.

Renting a 4 bedroom house to a 3 person family will just add to the housing crisis, tell her you'll only do it if she agrees to share with another family.

I have done a couple of kind deeds for family via a rental property we own. Never again. One distant cousin had it at massively discounted rate, but left it terrible and upset neighbours and the other, who I initially felt sorry for due to a personal crisis, and who we let live there rental free for months, also left it horrendous, despite initially saying they'd get a weekly cleaner etc. They didn't pay bills and never said thank you properly. They earn a very goid salary too. These people supposedly like us and didn't have a bone to pick with us having a rental, so I can only imagine what those with a chip on their shoulder might do to you your home! The distant cousin is being off with me since I haven't offered it again, despite heavy hints from them. Business and family rarely mix well.

Absolutely say no, once she’s in you’ll never get rid of her and she sounds like the sort of person who will complain about everything and expect you to sort it. If you’re not bothered about seeing her it should be easy to say no. We have had holiday lets in the past and always the same cheeky ones expecting a freebie so we made it clear from day one anyone can book it but it’s a business so they pay the going rate.

Unless you are up for drama after crisis after disaster then say no

Why would she write it from the family members perspective???

She doesn't owe the woman a cheaper or free house especially as they don't have a great relationship so whatever her perspective is she can go rent from the open market and keep their relationship civil and business free.

As the saying goes don't mix business with friendships and family because it tends to end badly.

100%. This.

You say, you think she will pay the rent as she is straight with money. She's straight alright, straight for a discount and a 'jokey' attempt at getting it for free. She has shown you who she is - she despises landlords, and the only thing that has changed is her want of a freebie.

What's the worst that can happen if you say 'no' ? A few (more) barb comments, from her and other relatives. Nothing like the fallout out from having to evict her later on.

Given that she earns an above average wage, I can't begin to imagine why family members are expecting you to let her have the house for no rent. What on earth is going on there? Apart from anything else, you still have overheads and maintenance costs, you are not a charity FFS.

@NewNameForThisWWYD - this posters suggestion about what to say, when you tell her no is perfect. I'm glad you have decided to tell her no and this suggestion sounds ideal to me. Yes - you did something similar a few years ago, but laws are different now - and from 1st May will be even more difficult..

I've no doubt there will be push back - but stick to your guns and remember that trying to get her to move out again will give you even more grief. Stay strong