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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
deeahgwitch · 18/03/2026 15:31

justthecat · 18/03/2026 10:37

I’d say you have nothing available, I imagine she’d become the tenant from hell and she’d never be truly grateful

This 💯
She reaps what she sows !

Magsbd · 18/03/2026 15:32

I wouldn’t rent to her at all, and certainly not rent free.

Delphiniumandlupins · 18/03/2026 15:35

If you rent to her she is still going to disapprove of you being landlords. Perhaps she'll feel even more resentment because she is indebted to you. If she can afford the market rent for your property she can rent similar from someone else. If she can't afford the market rent, the family members who think you should subsidise her can help her out.

IrishSelkie · 18/03/2026 15:35

It’s too bad section 21s are going away because, I would rent to her at the lower end of market rate if section 21s were still around. It would mean I could easily evict her if things didn’t work out. I do wonder if her marriage being toxic caused some of her comments and unpleasantness. Plus, if I didn’t, then it would kind of prove her points?

But with no section 21s allowed in the UK now, it would be too risky, so you’re not unreasonable to just say no.

Catwalking · 18/03/2026 15:35

I think you’re being generous asking opinions here!
No way, would I in your shoes, Let a property to this ‘relative’.
I might even leave it empty for longer than necessary, haha!

Yardbrushes · 18/03/2026 15:37

She's the type that would be reading the arse off you to family either way, and could well try to stiff you.
Her suggestion for free is wild.
If it causes a permanent fracture, consider it a win win.

Greenwitchart · 18/03/2026 15:39

BigGapMum · 18/03/2026 10:37

I would advise not to rent at all to her. It sounds like she is going to cause you problems in the future.

This.

She sounds like a trouble maker and she has a good salary she can find her own rental...

jessycake · 18/03/2026 15:40

I would say no , this will bring nothing but a headache

Imanautumn · 18/03/2026 15:43

Basically she wants you to pay her rent through your loss of income?! Let her pay her own rent.

LondonRidge · 18/03/2026 15:53

Good decision. Asking to rent at a discount is essentially asking you to pay part of her rent. I’m assuming she wouldn’t ask you just to hand her a few thousand pounds? It’s essentially the same thing.

PrettyPickle · 18/03/2026 15:55

Its not like she is a sibling or child/grandchild. I would decline.

When she and others whinge (and they will) explain that you still have the overheads to meet on the property and insurance to meet and had already committed to the works on properties, with the expectations of a full market value rent when calculating affordability. Its a business that has to wipe its nose and not a charity. Tell her the current market for buy to lets is more problematic than it has been in the past and you have to be tougher than you have been historically.

If you really feel you must rent to her, still insist on the contract/deposit and going through the agent if that is what you normally do, no preferential treatment in that respect for family as this is your business. But maybe offer her a couple of months at reduced rate to get her on her feet and thenthe rest as normal. Remember she needs to be in the area.

FinancesSorted · 18/03/2026 16:00

Oh god! Don’t do it @NewNameForThisWWYD You will be stuck with her! What happens if she refuses to pay even the reduced rate after a couple of months claiming that the fat-cat landlords can afford it. You will be stuck with a relative who you can’t get rid of and the rest of the family will gang up on you and DH.

She will have you fixing every tiny little problem which probably wouldn’t even bother most other tenants.

Families and businesses are not always a easy mix.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 18/03/2026 16:04

You could say yes, but charge market rate?

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 18/03/2026 16:04

DO NOT LET HER HAVE IT FOR FREE!

everybodyscreeaamm · 18/03/2026 16:08

I would say no.

If she demands to know why, be honest: she's been nothing but judgmental and horrible to you and you have zero interest in renting to someone who treats you like shit, family or not.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/03/2026 16:14

The other potential risk is that if for some reason, she becomes unemployed (breakdown of childcare, dickhead ex refusing to have contact, child's condition worsens), she'd have a hell of a job convincing Universal Credit that it's not a contrived tenancy, especially if you were already giving her a massive discount and there's an extra bedroom - and it would cost a fortune to evict (plus she'd have to stay until the bailiffs put her out on the street in order to qualify for social housing - as the local authority wouldn't lift a finger until then).

Pain in the backside for all concerned, really, even before you take into account her attitude/personality. Which is what managing a rental has to look at - risk, not personalities.

PepsiBook · 18/03/2026 16:16

Absolutely say no. Don't rent to family, it won't end well. Let them live there for free is an absolute piss take and joke!

BibbityBobbityBuggerit · 18/03/2026 16:25

Every single time I have done a favour involving money to a friend or a relative it has ended up costing me. Each and every time.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 18/03/2026 16:26

Don't know how to answer the AIBU. But you are being unreasonable even thinking of renting to her.

Katemax82 · 18/03/2026 16:26

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 18/03/2026 10:37

Just say no you have a tenant lined up ready to rent when it’s ready. If you rent to her she’s going to expect free rent and give you a massive headache

And you couldn't evict her

Loubelou71 · 18/03/2026 16:29

Would you give her money every month? Because that's what offering her a mates rate would be. Costing yourself to benefit her. I wouldn't do that.

Reliablesource · 18/03/2026 16:29

Why on earth do you need to ask? You already KNOW this woman is a nightmare and it will be a shitshow in the making.

Your rental properties are a business, and mixing family with business is always asking for trouble, even if she wasn’t a nightmare, but she is!

Reliablesource · 18/03/2026 16:30

BibbityBobbityBuggerit · 18/03/2026 16:25

Every single time I have done a favour involving money to a friend or a relative it has ended up costing me. Each and every time.

Totally agree. Never, ever mix money and family/friends.

Endofyear · 18/03/2026 16:31

I'd say no.

Frugalgal · 18/03/2026 16:32

You'd be bonkers to even consider it. You'd be opening up a world of pain for yourselves. She can refuse to pay rent and you'll have the same family issues with ever getting her out.

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