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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
Newusername0 · 18/03/2026 10:35

Id say no!

Milkwomen · 18/03/2026 10:36

I wouldn't rent to her at all.

SJM1988 · 18/03/2026 10:36

Don't rent to her. She can't disapprove of your choice to be landlords then try and use it to her advantage.

justthecat · 18/03/2026 10:37

I’d say you have nothing available, I imagine she’d become the tenant from hell and she’d never be truly grateful

Rizzz · 18/03/2026 10:37

After the write-up you've given her I'm really not sure why you're asking?

BigGapMum · 18/03/2026 10:37

I would advise not to rent at all to her. It sounds like she is going to cause you problems in the future.

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 18/03/2026 10:37

Just say no you have a tenant lined up ready to rent when it’s ready. If you rent to her she’s going to expect free rent and give you a massive headache

TheNavyReader · 18/03/2026 10:38

Say no .Absolutely no way would I get involved in the drama that will come from saying yes .

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 18/03/2026 10:38

Absolute no

Alittlefrustrated · 18/03/2026 10:38

Firm no - you have paying renters ready to move in when work is finished. Work is taking longer than expected. What a shame.

BillieWiper · 18/03/2026 10:39

She wants you to give her a house to live in for free? After calling you money grabbing slumlords or whatever. It's laughable really.

Just remind them what they said about landlords and that you wouldn't want to make the family relationship worse by them thinking it directly about you. While you'd be the one doing them a favour.

dadtoateen · 18/03/2026 10:39

Sounds like she could be a nightmare tenant.

IF you were to agree to allow her to rent, tell her it will be at full market value and use a letting agency on this one, keeps the 'family' bit out of it. Purely a business transaction.

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

5foot5 · 18/03/2026 10:40

I would say no and I would make damn sure she and the wider family knew why I was saying no If that cause a rift so what, you said you don't like her much anyway.
.
As for the family member saying you should let her have it for free, I would point out that on the open market you could rent that out for £xyz per month and then ask them if they would also be willing to put their hand in their pocket and give her £xyz per month, because that is effectively what they are asking of you

aWeeCornishPastie · 18/03/2026 10:40

What @WeepingAngelInTheTardis said 100%

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Rizzz · 18/03/2026 10:37

After the write-up you've given her I'm really not sure why you're asking?

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

OP posts:
middleagedandinarage · 18/03/2026 10:41

Absolutely say no! Gaurantee this will end in a family feud if you rent to her.
Do family know you have this house empty, could you just not tell anyone or say you already have someone lined up for it?
You are in a no win situation, if you give her the property reduced rent, you'll never get rid of her and it'll be a total headache for you and you'll be out of pocket. If you charge her full rent or don't rent to her then you're not going to be popular with family so I'd go don't rent to her at all and save yourselves the headache.

JamJar187 · 18/03/2026 10:41

I'd be telling her to sod off!!!

tealandteal · 18/03/2026 10:42

I would say no, or if you feel inclined to say yes, ensure she pays market rent. You also need to charge her rent to ensure you are protected surely, what if she refuses to leave? Would your mortgage/insurance even allow your to rent to a relative?

toomuchfaff · 18/03/2026 10:42

No

Dont even offer an explanation, that will invite discussion. Its not a discussion irs a NO.

Not a chance. She is already a relative from hell, you want to make her the tenant from hell?

You owe her nothing. Don't listen to anyone insinuating you do. YOU OWE HER NOTHING.

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/03/2026 10:42

I’d say no. I’d actually also say that the reason you are saying no is because she has been very critical of you being a landlord, so therefore you don’t feel comfortable having her as a tenant.

If you do change your mind, make sure you charge full market rate.

5foot5 · 18/03/2026 10:42

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

Yes this. And if she didn't pay promptly or if she mistreated the place and you wanted her out, think how much worse the fall out would be when you tried to evict her.

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/03/2026 10:44

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

Agree - given she thinks she should get it for free (and presumably for life because - why would she move?), there's a strong chance she'd default on paying.

Why should you pay to house a relative?

I'd say no, it's a business issue and you've lined up tenants.

RandomMess · 18/03/2026 10:44

I think someone has already paid a deposit and in contract with you aren’t they?!

InterIgnis · 18/03/2026 10:45

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

She’s your husband’s family and he is quite happy to say no, so why are you taking it upon yourself to hand wring about it?

She’ll be a nightmare tenant. If you’re so worried about family fallout, then think of the family fallout that will inevitably occur if you do rent to her and ever wish to hold her accountable for rent, or if you ever wish to get the house back.