To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

[Dawnchorus1]

I work in the civil service, and after returning from mat leave was given the choice of returning to my current job full time or taking a demotion if I wanted to do 3 or 4 days.

I took the demotion. This was nearly 5 years ago. I've contributed fully and enthusiastically in my role and been successful in working on big projects and having my ideas taken forward consistently (we work in an environment where most projects have a few people creating initial ideas which the clients then chose from). This despite being managed by 'replacement', being a single parent to my son, having little family support and having lost my mum suddenly last year, and have been working very hard at keeping my shit together.

We've gone through a restructure recently which has been horrendous for most involved and taken it's toll (multiple applications to apply for our own jobs etc). I kept my job luckily. Then a position opened up for my previous role. My son being at school now I thought it would be a good time to get my career back on track - up my hours and resume previous role.

So put in application. Got interview. Knew others were going for it, but being the one who had actually done the job before thought I had more than a good chance of getting it.

Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time. Interviews scheduled for the following Monday, so only a week's notice for me. We had to prepare a presentation for the interview (with no time scheduled during work to do so). This also happened to be the week of my mum's 1 year anniversary of her sudden death, and the week in which we buried her ashes. I see a therapist and the week before this she said she thought I was depressed - because I said I was struggling to get out of bed and do basic things like the washing up and laundry.

I worked hard to prepare a presentation. Long story short I didn't get the job - despite being told I had done a really good presentation. Because I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'. Despite having worked with these people closely for 5-10 years. They know I can solve a problem, they've seen me do it every week. Yes I could have had better answers. But last week was the worst week for me to have to prepare for this. I put the time and effort I had in me getting my presentation in good shape.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave.

Yes I think it best to take some time off. It is a lot at once. Obviously we have no insight into how they are treating you like shite if it’s not the not getting the job, but I think take some time off, see your doctor, they would diagnose depressions and recommend a course of action for you, be it anti depressants on.

good luck op.

It starts the Tues after next. So will be working 4 days until then. I feel really tense round my ribs, knot just underneath them, am already on antidepressants since this time last year. Not a particularly high dose though so maybe that could be upped.

Ok so you’ve already been diagnosed by a doctor with depression, so go back to them, as it could need upping as you say.

also you may have anxiety from the physical symptoms. So call,your gp in the morning. Good luck again.

Go back to the doctor tomorrow, and see if they will up the medication if needed. If you need time off next week you don’t necessarily have to admit it’s due to mental health.

@Dawnchorus1 - How can you say you didn't know who got the role you were after (until the announcement today) but also say in your earlier posts that you are better qualified than the person who got that role?

I'm sorry you lost out, but as others have said, it is the way they interview and you knew that before the interviews. What grade are you working in now and what grade was your previous grade, before you took maternity leave? Might help to understand why you are quite so upset?

We took an educated guess yesterday after ruling people out, and we're right (friends filled me in on the announcement today)

HEO currently. Job is SEO. Basically right at the bottom of the org chart. Feeling sorry for myself for being at this point in life and not very successful at all career wise when things started out pretty promisingly! Oh well lucky to be able to do part time, I do love being able to spend the afternoon school time with my son

There are people there who I hired, who have now been promoted one or two grades above me (and one of them is being a particular pain in the arse work wise). I'm sure this happens all the time to parents who go part time so is nothing new but does feel like a special kind of pain.

Then I get comments from my manager as I'm leaving the office loudly saying to the person next to here - I wish I worked part time - well if I didn't go PT you wouldn't even be here I felt like saying!!

With part time we already get paid less, and barred from certain promotions. We shouldn't also have to deal with people being twats about it. We literally cost them less money.

OK this is going to sound mean but before making this decision did you do any reading? A couple of threads on MN would have helped.

Thus is something we need to teach at school: you have choices. But choices have consequences.

OP, I thinknyou need to put your health and well-being first.
Talk to your doctor and get signed off for a while.
You have been juggling so much, especially grief.
Don't allow it to overwhelm you.
Take a break.
Make an appointment with your GP.
Stop killing yourself at work too.
A fair days work, no more.

You should not be barred from any promotions for being PT. Honestly, OP, I really think you need to get the union involved here. As i said upthread, im a PT G6 CS and im shocked at some of things you are saying are happening. You may not have the fight in you right now but it really isnt right and not aligned with the CS values at all.

If you do raise a grievance or get the union involved, you should probably get this thread taken down.

Union call tomorrow. I don't think there's much they can do about the not offering PT on same grade as it was so long ago now. But might be others aspects they can help with.

Why would you get the union involved after 5 years? It screams sour grapes and your colleagues are going to look at you in a very different light. You’re looking for somebody to blame for not getting the job.

Unfortunately, it sounds like your attitude towards your workplace has likely shone through more than you think. You admit you hate the place and the senior management. You have expressed that you think you are more qualified and experienced therefore ‘better’ than your colleagues. It sounds like you have lost respect for the company itself due to its financial losses. Your lack of preparation for the interview highlights your lack of respect for the role itself.

Have you considered that your performance may have been affected by your bereavement, pending autism assessment for your son, career disappointment and supporting your Dad. Perhaps your game hasn’t been as strong as you thought. It really doesn’t sound like now is the time to add to your workload.

The interviews in my sector contain a presentation. Candidates often fall down as they put their soul into the presentation and do not prepare for the questions, when in reality, the presentation is not worth many marks at all. It may be worth asking what percentage the presentation makes up.

Could the announcements today be to save face for you?

You can definitely go off sick if you feel your cup is full, despite the unsuccessful application. I would actively encourage it if you feel you can no longer manage. But I’d think carefully about involving unions/putting in grievances now about a role which you both chose and has suited you well for 5 years.

Sorry you didn’t get the role OP.

I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. They gave you a choice and you chose demotion. It’s about business need.

re the interview. A week is plenty and it’s not normal to have work time to prepare.

they chose the best candidate and it’s good they gave you some feedback.

I hope this comes across OK, but I do wonder if your current state meant that you didn’t answer the questions as well. They can’t tailor the interviews to times that suit everyone’s personal needs and home traumas. It may be that the decision is actually best for you - if you struggle to manage this, would you manage FT?

I would try to avoid taking time off for MH. It will look like you have the hump and won’t come across well at all. Maybe book some AL to have a breather and self care. Then come back fighting and show what you can do.

hopefully once you’ve had more therapy and time to heal you will be stronger for these kind of incidences.

I don’t think they see it as a delicate situation to be handled.

It’s a run of the mill recruitment exercise, and restructure of teams. Those who didn’t get promoted are in no worse position than before so no need to make a big deal of handling it delicately, or taking you aside for a private word or anything.

I’ve caught up with all the posts now. OP you sound so angry and I’m really not sure what about. Can you start your AL earlier so you can get a bit of a break and reset?

I’m not sure what you expect the union to help with? You’re paid less because you’re part time and you chose a demotion.

you asked earlier about what other parents have done and for a solution - but I’m not sure what your solution should be. Are you expecting the union to say you should have got the job?

I honestly think you’d be better off not having a FT job at the moment. I think it would make you more unwell.

could you look for another job maybe?

Yes that's exactly what happened re presentation. Me and my colleague both did the same thing of putting all our efforts into that rather than practicing the example questions. The thing is as designers that's what we do in our job all day everyday. Make presentations and present them to clients. All jobs interviews I've been for in design (a lot) have been almost all about talking through your portfolio. None of this 'tell us about a time...' BS. No excuses I knew the process in civil service but still, it's such a strange way to evaluate for this role. I was happy with my presentation and how I presented it so at least save face in that respects. But yes, it only made up a small percentage of the marks, which I hadn't fully grasped last week.

You don't think it's reasonable to expect that me and my colleague who are part time would be informed of our new line managers and teams before hand if it was going to be announced to the rest of the team on our NWD? Or wait till it's a working day for all of us? Surely managing a team is about handling situations (a restructure is very sensitive situation and has been f-ing stressful for us all for months now) like this well and attempting to get everyone to feel on board with the new direction, and valued.

But it makes sense, doesn't it? If the only difference between the roles is 10% management time, then it's that which will distinguish the candidates, because everyone in the team does the design side.

Not really, being the higher grade means doing some creatively directing design work and more presenting work to clients than lower grade. It's only managing 2 people not some massive team. Anyway I incorporated lots of examples of how I'd overseen projects, given feedback, dealt with situations while talking through the case study I presented.

Does it make a difference when you find out? Can you contest it/swap teams? Are they announcing the new managers that were successful at interview? I’m really genuinely trying to work out why this has pissed you off so much?

I wouldn’t expect a delay in announcing business changes to line with my working week? Especially as the majority of the team are on shift?

I want to get it but I don’t. Am I missing something?

Just unfortunately performed really badly when asked about examples in the questions as I didn't have them off the top of my head, and had spent all my time perfecting the f-ing presentation. Anyway, I think they wanted to give it to this person really anyway. She fits the profile of the people who are now leading this place. It's new job time for me. Just worried about finding something which will work with parenting responsibilities.

I think it's rude? We're a small tight knit team, this restructure has been dragging on since October we've jumped through hoop after hoop. To change line manager / team feels like quite a big thing. They also talked about other aspects. It was like the kick off meeting for the new plan / structure going forwards. It makes me and my colleague feel un valued / ignored and left out.

We're part-time not just getting shit loads of AL for free. At a time when you're losing money surely part timers are a great asset because we're cheaper and generally fit more into our 3 days than lots of the full timers do in 5 days.