To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

[Dawnchorus1]

I work in the civil service, and after returning from mat leave was given the choice of returning to my current job full time or taking a demotion if I wanted to do 3 or 4 days.

I took the demotion. This was nearly 5 years ago. I've contributed fully and enthusiastically in my role and been successful in working on big projects and having my ideas taken forward consistently (we work in an environment where most projects have a few people creating initial ideas which the clients then chose from). This despite being managed by 'replacement', being a single parent to my son, having little family support and having lost my mum suddenly last year, and have been working very hard at keeping my shit together.

We've gone through a restructure recently which has been horrendous for most involved and taken it's toll (multiple applications to apply for our own jobs etc). I kept my job luckily. Then a position opened up for my previous role. My son being at school now I thought it would be a good time to get my career back on track - up my hours and resume previous role.

So put in application. Got interview. Knew others were going for it, but being the one who had actually done the job before thought I had more than a good chance of getting it.

Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time. Interviews scheduled for the following Monday, so only a week's notice for me. We had to prepare a presentation for the interview (with no time scheduled during work to do so). This also happened to be the week of my mum's 1 year anniversary of her sudden death, and the week in which we buried her ashes. I see a therapist and the week before this she said she thought I was depressed - because I said I was struggling to get out of bed and do basic things like the washing up and laundry.

I worked hard to prepare a presentation. Long story short I didn't get the job - despite being told I had done a really good presentation. Because I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'. Despite having worked with these people closely for 5-10 years. They know I can solve a problem, they've seen me do it every week. Yes I could have had better answers. But last week was the worst week for me to have to prepare for this. I put the time and effort I had in me getting my presentation in good shape.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave.

These are not management examples.

Ok but you are omitting the factor of leadership.agenda which isn't always within the control of the interviewee. I'm suggesting there can be situations which are beyond the interviewee to navigate regardless of their ability. Also it takes a great deal of competence to assess all that's stuff wouldn't you agree? There are a lot of less than competent interviewers.
I've always found having a very strong gut reaction something isn't right, is a thing to analyse not dismiss. The OP is there we are not.

It depends a lot on the job one is doing as to how related the management task is. OP feels people need technical expertise to manage her role.

She does. But the other person clearly has that. She just feels she’s better.

NHS isn't Civil Service so I couldn't say whether they are covered by Success Profiles. In general, technical skills are a separate element to experience and in CS professions (of which there are loads) there are yet another framework that covers them. There is a deminshing return on how much each extra year's experience adds. In some professions (digital, data), experience from 20 years ago is probably obsolete.
I suspect the experience part is trying to break the cycle of can't get job without experience but can't get the experience without the job, that's why technical skills, behaviours, strengths and abilities are also considered.

I think you should take some calm time to take stock of your situation in this current workplace. Perhaps it’s no longer for you. You’re resentful of the past, the restructure, the recruitment model, the interviewing process – once you’ve lost respect and trust for an organisation, for whatever personal or professional reasons that is, it’s difficult to come back from that.

You might find you have a more content future outside civil service.

OP, you sound pretty entitled to this job despite the civil service actually knowing the people involved.

this part of your OP was infuriating "Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time."

You were so sure the job was in the bag for you that you are miffed you didn't get it, and you knew you had applied so why didn't you start preparing right away? And why should you get time off your current job to prepare a presentation for this other job?

All the "oh I'm a single mum with life events" is unhelpful and, to your bosses, irrelevant (outside of: do they think you will be reliable enough to turn up and work, i suspect)

Dust yourself off, and accept what has happened and move on. Keep an eye out for other roles to apply for.

Why do you think the process was unfair? It may well have been, that there is nothing in your posts to suggest it was. The reason you appear to be suggesting for it being unfair is because

1. the interviewers haven't used their prior knowledge of you to give you an edge over another candidate.
2. You didn't see the email about the interview straight away
3. You had no time in work to do interview prep
4. You were off sick before the interview

1 - no they shouldn't do. This would be absolutely unfair to external candidates and, if someone realised they WERE doing this, they could get into trouble.
2 - that's your fault for knowing you might get an interview, and deciding not to check your email regularly.
3 - well, no you wouldn't have had that if you had been an external candidate, so it wouldn't be fair for you to get it as an internal one either.
4 - anyone could have been sick before the interview.

Basically all these things boil down to them not giving you an advantage because you were an internal candidate, which it's 100% RIGHT and FAIR that they didn't!

Some valid points being made, like why didn’t you start prepping as soon as you applied why wait till the interview invite,

it does appear you felt you were the best person for the job, and should be given an advantage as you’d done it before, so didn’t fully prepare as you felt the interview was a formality, as you also feel you’re the best person on the team,

i do wonder if you’ve been behaving like the job is yours to your colleagues, and like you will shortly be managing them and that’s the real humiliation you feel, that they now know you didn’t get it and won’t be,

I did the same. Stayed in a role with fantastic conditions for a decade and stagnated. I moved to a huge organisation with rubbish t&cs but they recognised my potential and I've been promoted twice in less than 5 years. They still use star interviews to decide but it's given my career the kick start it needed. I had to go back full time to get there though

This. The role isn't some big leadership management type thing, it's a 90% chargeable role delivering creative work for clients. Which I've shown consistently over the last 5 years since returning that I can out perform the person who got it (happy clients, ideas gone through, little to no amends coming back, being brought in on projects that have gone wrong to turn them around quickly). I've also had lots more management experience but for some reason failed to put any of this forward in the interview with examples. I was deffo too cocky and thinking I'd get it. But at the end of the day I'm not sure who benefits from this as it won't be the clients, or the company.

This is not a management job

Ok I’m confused, you clearly state it is managing your current role and your previous job. If it is a sole contributor job then thay does change it.

You would be line managing 2 people. But it's 90% chargeable, so hands on delivering creative work, and overseeing some creative work.

This organisation is supposed to break even (being CS it's not supposed to make a profit), which it did for the first 5 years. For the last 5 it's made a huge loss year on year, the last of which being £750,000. They have reacted to this by making juniors redundant and promoting most of the managers, and hiring new managers. No one on SMT has been held accountable for the position we are now it. It's actually pretty scandalous considering it's public money we're talking about. They are being bailed out by a gov department which I won't name, but can think of 100 times things more worthwhile that this could be spent on.

I wasn't going to go for this role partly because I disagree with how it's all being run and am not onboard with the direction it's going in, thought I'd stay well clear of SMT and stay on my 3 days. But for some reason I decided I should. I feel small and undervalued doing part time, and in search of some kind of validation/status. Hopefully I can either find this in some other aspects of my life or another role, or the nirvana not feel like I need it!

They wouldn’t have benefitted with you either though. You hate the place

True, although I don't hate the clients and very dedicated in consistently delivering high quality work for them, happy clients leading to more work, which is what we need if we are to not be shut down.

It needs people who are all in. Not hating the place, the mangers, the direction of the business, struggling with the job generally. You are so sure of yourself yet lack insight really

I think we could debate the rights and wrongs with the current recruitment process definitely. The point is that it isn't changing and it is on candidates to learn to work within it to their best advantage. OP is acknowledging some of where it went wrong for her this time which is to be applauded given the tricky circumstances. What happens next is critical, be it stick with this dwindling division or seek new challenges within CS at same grade or previous higher grade. Same profession (DDaT?) or different. Outside CS! There are possibilities but need to be in right headspace before putting yourself through it again.

Which doesn’t really correlate with feeling small and insignificant, normally when you’re so good and your ideas consistently taken forward, you’d not feel that as you’d be perceived as a leader in tn4 team and know it. The validation and scale comes from how often they run with your idea. In fact you’d feel even bigger as even part time you were in the lead.

I understand wanting the status, and validation though, if it wasn’t maybe as shiny as you say, and that’s understandable.

I don't think you should decide well oh this is it - have another go when the opportunity arises.

Remember it's about ticking the right boxes. It is a ridiculous system and not really about who is best for the job but who can tick those boxes best.

Just keep an ongoing record of things you do out of grade and/or that match the behaviours and competencies until the next chance comes up. Then you've got all your examples and it's just about hitting those points in interview.

And now they've held a meeting with he designers today, on my non working day, to announce the new manager and teams. In a team of about 10, it's 2 of our non working days. I don't mind them doing meetings when I'm not there but to announce people's line managers is a bit off surely? They've could have done this on a day we all work on. Or told people 121. Or told me mine yesterday before today's meeting.

Does it matter though? They’ve clearly told you because you know so they have communicated it to you. I fear your bitterness about other issues is now clouding your judgment a bit

Huh? I’m sure they will tell you when you’re in. They don’t need to tell everyone one to one, that’s crazy, what company does that. And they don’t need to wait for everyone in either.

this is now the fact you’re so sensitive about them all knowing.

Also what do you mean you don’t mind tnem having meetings when you’re not there. You’re a part time employee, they don’t need to schedule meetings round your attendance. They have to get on and do the job.

No, it isn’t. You are part time, the business is full time. You can get the info when it’s your working days.