Should I ask my DS and his girlfriend for money

[DiaryofWimpy]

My DS2 has moved his girlfriend in with her 2 cats.

Obviously it’s another person using the washing machine,,TV, gas and electricity they are both 22 and don’t work but get benefits.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable asking them for money?

This. OP will end up with anxiety with the stress of supporting two adults. What a coincidence that they both suffer with such crippling anxiety that they can’t work. Like your child, I have anxiety and have to crack on.
There will be a baby soon.

Because no government has the balls to stand firm, say one thing one week...
those claiming it's happening to them shout loud.
U turn the next.

Most sensible people could see it happening, the slippery slope, as with many things that are so wrong in this country...but have no voice....it'll only get worse.

The OP is on benefits too. She has bipolar. Which let's face it has modelled to her son that you don't actually need to work.

Thing is we need a fool-proof way to weeding out the genuine to the chancers. Until that happens I don't want anyone in need, genuine need to suffer because of others ruining it. Tbh, am not sure that's possible.

Fucking hell I must have missed a page or two. What a sorry story.

You can’t really blame the OP for that though. I’m sure she’d rather not have bipolar.

Agree. I'm all for stopping benefits for the lazers and the piss takers, but don't want people with genuine health problems to end up suffering.

Depends really. I know quite a few people with bi-polar who work, although it's certainly challenging for them.

I have every respect for those who genuinely suffer form MH issues; my own DP has struggled with PTSD.
Too many young ppl are claiming anxiety as an excuse not to go out into the adult world.
Those I have encountered and seemingly these two in this thread aren’t too anxious to manage busy love lives.
A friends DD up until the day she turned 18 was anxious but it miraculously disappeared and off she went to the pub, got a bf, car and job., she does trot it out to avoid doing things but they don’t let her away with it.
OP, you could easily work of your conditions are managed, even a part time job, show them the way!

Thank you for understanding

Yes you should how are they ever going to survive in the real world. You can get help for anxiety with meds with CBT therapy. I had a daughter who in her teens had terrible anxiety so bad she couldn’t get out the door at times. We had help she went to University at 20 instead of 18 she did a degree & a Masters. She now has a career. She still get anxiety at times but now has coping methods. You can’t decide at that age you are never going to be a functioning working person of society. Try to encourage them to get help. There was a point I thought my daughter would not sit her Alevels even though she wanted to go to University.Yes you should take it & maybe give them a timeline to get help to improve the anxiety. Otherwise they will be comfortable with you forever.

The next generation of such a families should be prohibited from claiming any benefits.

In the majority of cases the statement "they will be future tax payers" is clearly a load of rubbish.

Anxiety doesn't mean these two lazy oafs can't work. What do they do all day?

I often worry about the fact I don’t have a pension and I keep looking into starting one or changing jobs to get one. (Self employed pretty much my whole life so far). Threads like this make me not worry about it. The state can look after me in old age. 😎 Once I’m too old to work I’ll just claim benefits of some sort. (I’m autistic and have ADHD and due to those have a lot of anxiety including previous self harm when much younger).

No it won't. You can't claim housing costs if you are living with a parent - you get the money for yourself only. The OP will already be claiming rent element. To claim that three times over would be benefit fraud

There's nothing fraudulent about asking someone who lives with you who is on benefits for money towards their living costs

Same! This is my stance too. The whole system needs to be looked at.

I actually think some people deserve higher amounts of benefits but it needs to be given to less people and for shorter periods of time.

The amount you get for example as a single adult with no kids on UC after losing your job is paltry. From what I understand a lot of countries pay much more if you are unemployed, but only for a certain amount of time like 6 months as opposed to decades.

Anxiety is the modern day "back pain".

And some people can't cope with having bipolar and working. I have a friend who is only alive because she was sectioned twice and retired early because of it. Your post is nasty and hugely judgemental to boot - just because your sibling can work doesn't mean that everyone can

You obviously don't suffer from it then

TBF I'd definitely have a lot less anxiety if I didn't have to worry about paying any bills, because those were all being picked up for me by my mum/the taxpayer.

I absolutely agree. Anxiety shouldn't stop a person from working some kind of job.

I do, and I agree with her.

As I said we all different and (1) we don’t know bad the OP’s son’s anxiety is and what his symptoms are and (b) we don’t know what his plans are or whether he has tried to find work. If you’re on UC, they insist that you look for work and have to prove that you are doing it, unless you are too unwell.

Right. It’s insulting to many of us who have bad panic attacks in meetings, shaking and crying in the toilets, worked through terrible painful physical illnesss etc to be told we don’t really have it /aren’t suffering because we refuse to go on long term benefits.