To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

I believe this - my DS was taunted for being Jewish - he isn’t, we’re not and we have a boring English name - he looks Anglo-Irish to me, but dark curly hair was enough. He just used to tell people to eff off and it was low level, but I can see how it could escalate. The school weren’t interested initially as ‘he isn’t Jewish’ - pointing out that that’s not how the Equality Act works, and asking how hearing the stuff chucked at DS would make a Jewish pupil feel did seem to though and they cracked down.

I'm a little confused by this as I didn't know there is a 'clearly Jewish' look. Are the children in fact wearing something which identifies them as Jewish?

I'm wondering this too. I wouldn't recognise someone as being Jewish unless they were wearing specific clothing, and my kids (ages 20 and 16) wouldn't have the faintest idea if a contemporary was Jewish.

Where were your children born? If they were born in the UK they can just say they're from London or wherever. This idea that they don't look British is racist. Would you tell a child of Pakistani parentage that they're not British becuse they don't look it?

Keep it simple.

This is how a lot of Jewish people have had to live though. It certainly was the case in my family.

Anti-semitism is rife. I was in hospital last year and experienced it for the first time in a long time one night with two nurses who were fucking vile to me.

Lots of occasions since as well.

Is the bullying coming from Muslim children? I feel bad for asking.

Most schools do have some level of multicultural and multiethnicity,

that does not mean that racism has vanished.

i retired a few years ago but there were plenty of racist incidents at all points of my career. Some schools came down harder than others.

op is totally right that saying I am from London will not satisfy peers who are looking to bully.

I’m not sure that saying Greece or turkey would make a difference but it might. Worth a try.

Why are people disbelieving the experience of the op?

Well quite. My late mother looked like that and was a Gentile from Surrey.

@ICanLiveWithItabsolutely no way should they say that, it’ll hurt feelings, be seen as “smart” or “nasty” and calling another child racist even if you think that could cause real problems and lead to the bullied child being punished. I’ve been in this situation no hiding my accent or mixed ethnicity or religion for that matter as we advertised it and no way should you react and engage like this. sympathy @Aislyn

Well what about something like "my parents lived in Australia before they came here".

I am appalled at the need for this but understand completely where you are coming from.

It is neither endemic nor normalised in the UK! What good will hyperbole do to address the limited and localised presence of antisemitism in certain sections of communities in the UK? I would never deny it's existence but your exaggeration is not part of a solution.

My Jewish grandmother used to say that she was Italian or Maltese in situations where identifying as Jewish would be unhelpful. It worked for her.

Many/most people in London come from a variety of ethnic backgrounds, so surely just saying London is fine? If not maybe try saying italian?

Then don't name it. They say the town they live in if not born in UK, if they were, then where born, and anyone pushing gets reported.

Oh come on @baroqueandblue - the OP has said herself her DC has been bullied for being Jewish. Visibly Jewish people can't go out and about in London on days when there are pro-Palestinian marches for fear of violence & abuse, or being arrested (for being Jewish, I suppose?) And about those Jewish people murdered in Manchester ...?

I think you’re confusing the issue by saying Eastern European, why not just say Middle Eastern. If they look ethnically like they are from the Middle East, rather than from Eastern Europe, people wouldn’t presume Jewish.

What do you mean, OP? We’re not a monochrome monotheistic culture but (I think gloriously) diverse. What does “British” look like these days? You take my point.

I'm sorry this is happening, and I'm sorry this thread is demonstrating exactly why this is happening. Just choose a country that looks most likely, and say a grandparent was from there and they seem to have gotten all their genes. It's hideous they can't even 'admit' to being Jewish anymore. I desperately hope things are going to improve soon but we do seem to be heading into very dark days. Again.

But they were born in London?
London is literally full of people who don’t “look” British, most kids wouldn’t dream of asking where they originally came from?

They aren't. They are questioning why it's apparently useless saying "from London" when Londoners are the most diverse population in the UK

You're misrepresenting what I wrote, which is strange because everyone else can see it! You claimed antisemitism is endemic in the UK and normalised and I disagreed with your misrepresentation of the problem but I didn't deny it's a problem of a certain scale. Please don't do what you're doing, it helps nobody.

Please take this higher. Don't hide.

Here are some useful links, please get some support. No one, and for god's sake not children, should need to hide their ethnicity.

https://cst.org.uk/antisemitism/report-antisemitism

https://saricharity.org.uk/get-help/victims/

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/coping-with-life/racism-and-mental-health/#Reportingracismandmakingcomplaints

OP, I’m outraged and sorry you have had to deal with this. Still, if you think everyone in London looks the same, you’re not paying attention. Are you British citizens? I agree with the people who suggest that your daughter say the neighborhood or village where you live. If they say, “No, where are you REALLY from?” Your daughter can just repeat herself until they get bored and move on.

You are completely misunderstanding. It's not about what I think, it's what other children think. They do pay attention to appearance.