AIBU to think everyone has become boring?

[LilacHedgehog123]

Does being mid to late forties mean you have to be boring?

I used to have such a laugh with my mates but these days all they talk about is peri-menopause and laundry! One has to be home by 9 as they're tired and another 2 have given up alcohol. They say they'll have just as good a time drinking water. I know you can have a great night out sober, I've done it many times. But it's not the same though is it? I miss getting tipsy and giggling about silly things until late. Yes we can all have a good laugh sober, obviously. But it's not the SAME. I just really miss those nights out where we're silly and we embarrass ourselves and we laugh until we cry. But everyone else seems to have forgotten. It's WORTH the hangover and the being tired. It's not every day, it's just once every few months!

I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead as they're so much more fun. I will always be there for my friends don't get me wrong, but when I want a night out, I want to go OUT OUT.

Does anyone else feel the same? When did having responsibilities mean you can't (very occasionally) be silly / stay up too late / be spontaneous? :(

Unfortunately I've had to concede that I am boring.

I can't drink more than 2 glasses of wine, and that's decent wine, not the cheap shit I used to drink. It gives me acid reflux, and a banging headache.

I can't wear heels - they give me cramp in my calves, and if, by some miracle I can wear them, then they throw my hip and back out so I can't walk properly for days.

I don't much like restaurants, I'm either too hot or too cold, I can't handle competing noise, if I forget my reading glasses I'm buggered because I can't read the menu, cheese makes me sweat, pasta and rice give me stomach ache, can't eat spicy food, and I'm not paying an extortionate amount of money for food I can cook better myself.

I had a brilliant time in my younger days, but like Shakira says, my hips don't lie, and once my bra comes off at 6.00pm it's not going back on!

Age appropriate 😄

Who decides?! Good question - princess Catherine probably. Guess us over 50s should all be wearing coat dresses and court shoes too.

I'm so on the fence about this. I yearn for my 20s and 30s and even mid 40s when I was out several times a week, often drunk, having long nonsense conversations and bonding over the hangover the next day. Being able to let my hair down and forget all my cares. If I behaved disgracefully it would be laughed over the next day.

Now almost 50 I just don't have a spare minute. I'm the sandwich generation and any time I am not caring for older family members, I want to spend soaking up DC who will very soon be too cool and teenage to want much to do with me. I have plenty of nights out but I do all I can to avoid hangovers or spending the morning in bed these days. A lot of chat in my friends groups now is about losing parents or caring for them, kids growing up, health issues. It's less fun but hugely comforting not to be going through it alone and I feel deeply grateful for these friendships that have evolved as I have got older. Also it gets tired pretty quickly going out and having a couple of drinks but splitting a bill with someone who has got stuck into the wine and cocktails all night so I will admit to avoiding heavy drinking friends at times.

Your attitude about alcohol makes me feel a bit sad ..my dh has been trying to give up drinking alcohol as it has turned into a problem for him.

One thing he massively struggles with is not drinking with friends...he thinks they all find him boring now and finds the thought of socialising with them hard (its always been a big drink culture)

It's a real shame as he is stil good fun...more fun now he doesn't drink actually! But I'm sure some see him with his non alcoholic drink and wonder why he isn't drinking and think he's turned dull and boring Cos he isn't doing what he did 20 years ago

I still drink a bit but have a very low tolerance for drunk people. I still love a laugh, joke and a dance but don't have to be drunk or tipsy to do so... I'm fun without and so are my friends

So when life gets tough on your friends they are overwhelmed and struggling or they start looking after themselves you jump ship?
They better off without you.

Hangovers last two to three days (one was longer!!) after even a few glasses of wine. Add work and kids to that and nothing is worth it!!!

I'm not English, but didn't Churchill drink every day and lived till his 90s?

Keep off the wine. G&T or cider less likely to cause hangovers

Guessing Churchill was not menopausal to be fair. Bet he didn’t do much laundry either

Where do you live @LilacHedgehog123 ?
I'll meet you for some wine and a laugh!

Me too. I’m totally alcohol intolerant. (Still manage to have a good laugh though).

I'm nearly 50 and I still enjoy pubbing and clubbing but I need more and more downtime after drinking each passing year. Luckily my children don't need much looking after these days...

Absolutely no night out is so great that it's worth a hangover for me. My hangovers are hell on earth. I haven't had a bad one for about four years and I have no intention of ever having one again.

I’ve just turned 50 and I love to party. You are not alone. Life is too short. Enjoy it why you can

Nothing sounds more boring to me than being drunk and out and needing to get home and into bed.

Fresh bedlinen, a nice cup of tea and slice of cake in bed while I have a long girly chat on the phone is bliss to me!

I can see where you are coming from with much of this - especially the bra coming off - but cannot get past the comment "cheese makes me sweat."???!!!

On reflection, I’m glad that my friends in real life aren’t like the miserable farts on here.

And no, we don’t drink to the point that we’re lying unconscious on the bathroom floor.

I’m sick of hearing about the menopause as well. Everyone blames it for every issue, forgetting none of us are getting any younger regardless of sex. And as for those adverts … I don’t want to hear about vaginal dryness while I’m drinking my morning coffee - anymore than I want to hear about nobs and foreskins at that hour!!!

I'm 50. I have switched to day discos! Usually go into London every couple of months. Drink, dance, have a laugh, back home in my pjs by 10pm with a cup of tea and no hangover the next morning!

Can’t relate. My friends and I get together once a month and pretend we’re young again. Raving, laughing, being silly. But to be fair we also talk about peri and washing 😂

Some of us actively enjoy getting drunk 🍷 Others don't - it makes them unwell one way and another, or they don't like 'losing control'.

The 'losing control' thing must be a bit like the way some people hate rollercoasters or flying. I don't feel a strong need to be in control; in fact, I find relinquishing it relaxing. I've got enough experience of being drunk to know it brings out my amiable side and that I do, even if passing out, have a 'danger' threshold I will not cross. I know booze makes me repetitive and a bit stupid, but that's okay if my company's in a comparable state.

People are all different, you know, and it's obviously sensible not to drink much if it makes you nasty, irresponsible or unwell. That makes you sensible for yourself, not some kind of superior being.

Before you ask - I have been a heavy drinker. I've been through rehab, all my Steps and a year's sobriety. Now I average around my NHS allowance, and that includes three or four blowouts a year.

Predictably, though, this thread's reminded me of the wine waiting to be finished from yesterday 😆 So, cheers!

OP - I sympathise! Thank god for my equally control-abandoning brother and his glorious kids (all in their 30s, some with small children) 💕

I am in my late 30s and feel lots of people at my age and stage (parenting young kids) have become pretty dull, but I think it's because most of us are knackered and/or skint. My dh and I really enjoy live music & nice food and we are the only ones out of our friends (who are parents) that will book a babysitter to go out and do the things we enjoy occasionally.

But I think we got lucky. We can afford a babysitter every few months. We also have a child that will be content with babysitter, can get to sleep without us etc which a lot of people don't have. My friend, on the other hand, hasn't slept for more than 3 hours in a row for months and is the only one who can get 2 kids to sleep, so I would never expect her to want to come out and "have fun" right now. I do hope my friends come back to it though. It does make me feel a bit sad as people don't even want to go out for dinner / be out in the evenings at all.

I think you need to accept your friends' company in the places they want to be - maybe it's a coffee and walk friendship now with them, and you could find other new friends to go for drinks with.

I wish I could still be a fun drunk but once I hit perimenopause I felt suicidal the day after drinking- even a small amount. My mum because an alcoholic when peri hit and my sibling killed themselves due to alcoholism. Thought I better try not to die or become an alcoholic so it had to go.

50 this year and love to go out and have fun. Not a big drinker, so don't need much to feel a bit of a buzz, I'll have a few then switch to water. Love to go out and dance a few times a year, but also go to lots of music gigs, theatre, restaurants etc. We live near a big city and there is always lots of fun stuff happening. If we go to a gig of a 90s band - more than half the audience is age 50-70 so plenty of others out there too and if we go to a club it is for 80s/90s/indie nights so lots of our age group.

I also have friends who like to go to bed early and would hate to go out in the city, everybody is different

This thread really made me laugh. I was thinking about it as I was hanging out my washing thinking how much ‘laundry chat’ can really be happening at these gatherings. What is there to say? But as I was playing the possible conversations through in my head I realised I have loads of thoughts about it!! Haha! I’ll be in my 40s soon, can’t wait for this to start coming up 🤣.

Gosh I’m with you - I hate all the endless perimenopause chat. Didn’t we used to get to be ‘cougars’ for a while first?!

fortunately my DH and my circle are still pretty reliably up for a fun night out or a silly dinner party - but I am very aware that isn’t the case with a lot of my school gate contemporaries.

keep at it!