AIBU to think everyone has become boring?

[LilacHedgehog123]

Does being mid to late forties mean you have to be boring?

I used to have such a laugh with my mates but these days all they talk about is peri-menopause and laundry! One has to be home by 9 as they're tired and another 2 have given up alcohol. They say they'll have just as good a time drinking water. I know you can have a great night out sober, I've done it many times. But it's not the same though is it? I miss getting tipsy and giggling about silly things until late. Yes we can all have a good laugh sober, obviously. But it's not the SAME. I just really miss those nights out where we're silly and we embarrass ourselves and we laugh until we cry. But everyone else seems to have forgotten. It's WORTH the hangover and the being tired. It's not every day, it's just once every few months!

I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead as they're so much more fun. I will always be there for my friends don't get me wrong, but when I want a night out, I want to go OUT OUT.

Does anyone else feel the same? When did having responsibilities mean you can't (very occasionally) be silly / stay up too late / be spontaneous? :(

I agree. I love going out. But maybe you need to diversify the types of out out that you do?

bar, theatre, dance classes. Talks. Dinner etc so that’s more accessible for others

Bored and restless? We live in such a beautiful country! Get out there walking, meet friends for lunch, have a laugh, gym, do a hobby.

Why is clubbing and getting hammered the only option? I love that my friends all have interests (most are active people and we all have kids), love travel and doing stuff and all work so time is precious.

We dont want hangovers that spoil valuable time at the weekend with our families or enjoying life. We all enjoy a drink going out but a couple of wine is different to feeling awful the next day (been there done that all through our younger years, never again).

But I’m surprised a parent would want to, entering a club (or field) late at night and leaving when it’s day-light the next day.

I get the festival though! Normal hours I could handle.

Why does your personality change when you become a parent? Why does wanting the odd night out mean you are not sporty / clean living the rest of the time?!

This thread is fascinating to me the little boxes people put themselves in?! It’s really odd.

What's boring is people that still think drinking alcohol is a good idea. Literal poison

I dont think anyone is saying that. But not wanting the kind of late nights you had in your late teens/20’s is totally ok when its over twenty years after you have ‘been there and done it all’.

If people still want to do that, good for them, but dont complain if others don’t. The majority of my friendship group (40’s-50’s) would never go near a club but we love a cocktail, nice meal, spa break etc.

Why would someone’s dancing go from fine to tragic just because a decade birthday occurred?

We’ve all seen tragic drunken forty-year-olds make fools of themselves, but they were probably doing so in their twenties too.

I've recently given up alcohol and it’s weird how I’m having to ’train’ myself to enjoy social interaction without it - which tells me I definitely had an issue with booze.

I was binge drinking and, for me, that was a ln untenable situation, but I also recognise how many of my friends and family are/were the same - practically ALL of them!

I miss it, though! Especially on holidays and trips away.

But you can have a drink and a dance without having to " stagger" round some " noisy bar"

I often go and see live bands. Plenty of time to chat before they set starts, interval and after.

I absolutely LOVED being able to have a few drinks, be incredibly silly, dance and stay up late

now I’m in my pyjamas by 6pm, and haven’t been out in the evening for about 5 years and would be horrified at going out ‘in the dark’ 😂

Old age is bollocks

Why? Raving was something I didn't do in my early 20s but that because I was a rock chick/ biker girl.

But if you like that stuff why should you have to stop doing it just because you give birth

Why? Raving was something I didn't do in my early 20s but that because I was a rock chick/ biker girl.

But if you like that stuff why should you have to stop doing it just because you give birth

Doesn't sound like anyone on my friendship group would want much to do with you. We have a few snooty stuck up women like you around. Avoid them like the plague

Friends who who'll do lunch rather than dinner as they want to be home for cocoa and slippers by 9 pm. People who won't drive in the dark any more.

Oh god, that’s me! I’m 53 and a perfect meal out with friends is a lunch, or failing that, one that ends early. Unless we’re hosting or staying with friends, I have no interest in being out late.

I do drive in the dark, but I find it hard to see 😬

I think it depends. I enjoy a night out - although I don’t drink to excess, as reeling around drunk is not a good look really. A few glasses of wine is enough.

But, my friends are like me - none of us ever talk about kids, knitting grandkids, TV or health etc - boring. 🙄

Some people age very young, and others don’t.

I am boring i am very very very happy being boring

And needing alcohol to enjoy one's self is worrying

I get this.

I've got a small group of friends that I go to a burlesque type immersive dinner event that is run a couple of times a year locally.

it's nice to get dressed up and have a few cocktails and have a dance.

although the first time I went, I had two cocktails and I don't know what was in them, but we were all absolutely wasted and the day after was a write off!!! 2 of the others were sick, and I got off lucky with a headache and feeling wiped out - but it wasn't the kind of hangover I would happily repeat!

we've been back since, and people have been more sensible (although two cocktails wasn't particularly wild!!) as it's just too hard to parent the following day, take the kids to parties, do chores etc.

so yeah it does feel a little bit like we're always saying "ooh I'm not going to drink much" or "I need to leave by X, I've got a kids party at 9am" because mum life doesn't stop!

also, it's really hard to get these dates in the diary as everyone is so busy!

I've got another group of friends from uni who try to get us all together occasionally. Where we all live a fair distance apart, it involves more lengthy travel and an overnight stay, so we often get an air b&b or something.

on previous occasions where 2 or 3 of us will arrive as early as possible (late morning/lunchtime) to make a day of it, before dinner out and our overnight stay, one of the others will be sure to double book herself, turn up shortly before dinner, and then have to leave at the crack of dawn because she's got dinner plans with in laws. Feels frustrating that friends can't commit to plans and make it worthwhile, when we're all spending money to travel and stay over. But I've just learnt that we all have different priorities.

if your work friends are the fun ones, embrace that! And keep your other friends for coffee dates and supportive chats.

I’m mid-late 40s, not averse to a chat about peri-menopause and laundry, but I also like to go out and have fun once in a while. I have different groups of friends for different things. One group we really only meet up once every 3 months or so and go drinking and/or dancing (day time clubbing is fun!) I have my friends who love good food and we go for the occasional fancy meal. I have another group who love reading and plays and we go to the theatre and meet up to talk about books. And individual friends with whom I go out for a catch up and yes, that sometimes means peri-menopause chat as well as discussing our lives and supporting each other when needed. The groups are often at different life stages to each other and I met them in various circumstances/situations, which might be why it works like this. So my suggestion is to find new friends - and that doesn’t mean you have to ditch the old ones. Good luck, OP. Life doesn’t have to be dull.

Yes that's why I said can not will. It was just a suggestion as to why OP's friends may not like to drink anymore.

Sounds like OP needs to widen her circle somehow. Not so easy when you get older, but it can be done.

Honestly I only seem to see it on MN, hit 35 and they are just very boring and mumsy 🤢. I’m 47 and still go to raves!

I suppose some people grow up and some don’t! Could be said as equally, and would also probably be as insulting as your stance!

I've noticed the same, but I'm not sure it's age associated as some younger people that I've been out with are like this as well.

I feel like my friends and I enjoy each others company. But maybe I'm wrong because often it's like pulling teeth to get them to agree on a date and there are many cancellations. On the rare time we make it there the most commonly heard phrase is "I can't stay long, I'm just stopping by", along with complaints about being so tired and busy (for reference they have completely normal lives). It makes me feel a bit pathetic for even being there.

About the alcohol, it's not about drinking a lot or at all, but the thing is if you don't drink, sometimes you have to put in a little more effort to have fun, make conversation and get in the mood. Now that's fine and very doable. But people often can't be bothered, and while they say they can have just as much fun sober, in reality they end up sitting there silently or bringing up the most boring topics and complaints.

I don't think its alcohol necessarily that makes someone boring or not.

For me its the 'friends' whose lives revolve around their teenagers and in laws. So they'll meet me on a Tues night say, but won't give up precious weekend time. (We have a teen - I don't feel the need to devote every weekend to spending time with her and she'd be horrified if I tried to).
I don't really see those people.

Luckily I'm fortunate enough to have good friends, some have kids, others don't. Some I've known for decades, some for a few years. Some drink, some don't. Some like a festival, some like the theatre, some like meals out, some like full on clubs. I like all of those things. We care about each other, we make each other laugh, we can be honest with each other.

Its about seeing each other more than what we do when we meet.

And 'friends' who are more concerned with what the most Instagrammable night out is, I ditched long ago.

What about those who were grown raising families in their 20s and kids grown up by tine they reached 40s