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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

484 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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Terfedout · 15/03/2026 20:06

I'd report her. If you are worried about being associated with the report, wait a few weeks and then do it. Good luck x

tealandteal · 15/03/2026 20:07

Honestly I don’t see what choice you have but to report.

MrsKateColumbo · 15/03/2026 20:07

So sorry to hear about all this awful behaviour.

I would report in a couple of weeks, but will the dog actually be taken or ill she just be "told" to muzzle it.

Today's incident sounds awful, can you move in with your mum for a bit under "she's helping with baby" guise?

MrsKateColumbo · 15/03/2026 20:08

Sorry I read it as 41 not 14 weeks, I would report in a couple of weeks, how awful for you Flowers

Dinnerplan · 15/03/2026 20:09

Report her. I second waiting a few weeks. Maybe keep a diary of incidents if they don’t identify you. Look up the legislation and the points being broken. It may not be registered/neutered/insured.

PShelp · 15/03/2026 20:09

You'll have to report it. Also, you won't be able to leave the baby at your parents with their dog either.

Overthebow · 15/03/2026 20:11

Report it. There’s no way I’d have a baby around a dog like that, you won’t be able to leave your house safely.

VegBox · 15/03/2026 20:12

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TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:15

MrsKateColumbo · 15/03/2026 20:07

So sorry to hear about all this awful behaviour.

I would report in a couple of weeks, but will the dog actually be taken or ill she just be "told" to muzzle it.

Today's incident sounds awful, can you move in with your mum for a bit under "she's helping with baby" guise?

This is what is worrying me. If I knew the dog would definitely be destroyed if I reported then I’d do it. But I’m worried she’ll just get a warning and then be gunning for me, then I’d be even more in danger. I’m scared of a situation where she’s screaming at me outside and the dog picks up on the tension and goes for me

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:19

PShelp · 15/03/2026 20:09

You'll have to report it. Also, you won't be able to leave the baby at your parents with their dog either.

Yes I agree about parent’s cockerpoo. What I meant was that I just don’t think it’s comparable. I just don’t think a small cockerooo dog who is known to nip in a very specific situation (if you try to get a toy out of his mouth when he’s resource guarding) and gives plenty of warning body language before doing so, and then backs off after one nip, isn’t comparable to a 70kg XL bully who is bred from line of dogs that have a genetic disposition to bite on the neck and hold on to the victim until they are dead.

I’d of course be cautious of baby being around the first dog too, but I don’t think the risk is comparable at all. The first dog is easily managed by supervising and being aware of the dog’s triggers. The second scenario, of a 70kg XL bully with a deciding to maul you when on a walk with your baby is quite different.

I just brought up my parent’s dog as I hate when my partner compares to make the point that the XL bully is harmless.

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 15/03/2026 20:20

Realistically you’re not going to be happy til you move out. If your report is successful and the dog is destroyed, she’ll be gunning for whoever was involved in getting rid of her pet, and may find another.

You can phone non- emergency police or one of those community forums, and establish what’s required to evidence a report that will get the dog destroyed. I’d cite evidence from before today, including instances you weren’t directly involved in.

tsmainsqueeze · 15/03/2026 20:21

Give it a couple of weeks then report anonymously , don't tell a soul .
I have many years experience of working with dogs and these are the only breed that have ever scared me , when you are up close you can see how powerful they truly are and how you wouldn't stand a chance.
They are unpredictable however friendly they seem.
By law she needs -
an exemption certificate
insurance
neutered
muzzled in public
never off the lead
chip
I wonder how much of this she complies with ?

SnoopyPajamas · 15/03/2026 20:22

Wait a while and report it. If she's already worried people will snitch on her, you won't be the only suspect. It sounds like half the estate has reason to report too. You just have to brazen it out.

If you're lucky, your partner's attitude might work in your favour and she won't suspect you, because he's so positive about the dog. Avoid but don't make it obvious, and report as soon as you're reasonably in the clear.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 15/03/2026 20:23

I agree - report but wait a bit.

It’s not just walking it unmuzzled, it’s having it in the front garden which is not secure. I think that’s also against the rules. And anyone could see that and report it.

TBH I don’t think any registered ones should be allowed, but that’s a rant for another day.

OneSeriesTooMany · 15/03/2026 20:24

Honestly I’d move. I understand financially this will put you behind with buying but I’d rather live someplace secure even if it takes a bit longer to safe up for buying. Think about when your baby arrives - won’t you want to go walks with pram or carrier. How will that work if you’re terrified of venturing outside due to dog. If you’re taking a few years rhen how will you feel if your toddler is playing under your supervision outside in your garden and you know that dog is just next door. Or what happens if you want to walk your 3 year old to nursery but she’s out with her dog at same time. I’d move. Of course you can’t guarantee who new neighbours will be or what pets they will have but this a a known major threat to you and your baby so I wouldn’t be sticking around.

You will also never ever be able to leave baby at your mums or leave under her supervision on visits as her dog isn’t safe either and she doesn’t recognise this. A baby being bitten by a small dog can be seriously injured.

CarbGoading · 15/03/2026 20:24

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Please for love of God tell me you're joking

hattie43 · 15/03/2026 20:24

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That is evil . It’s not the way to address things .

Thelnebriati · 15/03/2026 20:26

I'm really unsteady on my feet and regularly have falls that put me in A&E; if a dog that size jumped on me I'd be injured. Please report it.

Tableforjoan · 15/03/2026 20:26

Report it annon as if someone saw what happened to you as the last straw. Then add in any incidents you can that could easily be reported by others.

ThatLilacTiger · 15/03/2026 20:26

I'm sorry because I know you're trying to figure out what to do, but your mum's right. By refusing to move, you're putting your baby's life at risk. Would you trade your savings to get your baby back if the dog killed it? Of course you would. You need to get away from the dog and moving is probably the only way.

Or you could kill it. But then you'd probably have to move anyway.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:27

OneSeriesTooMany · 15/03/2026 20:24

Honestly I’d move. I understand financially this will put you behind with buying but I’d rather live someplace secure even if it takes a bit longer to safe up for buying. Think about when your baby arrives - won’t you want to go walks with pram or carrier. How will that work if you’re terrified of venturing outside due to dog. If you’re taking a few years rhen how will you feel if your toddler is playing under your supervision outside in your garden and you know that dog is just next door. Or what happens if you want to walk your 3 year old to nursery but she’s out with her dog at same time. I’d move. Of course you can’t guarantee who new neighbours will be or what pets they will have but this a a known major threat to you and your baby so I wouldn’t be sticking around.

You will also never ever be able to leave baby at your mums or leave under her supervision on visits as her dog isn’t safe either and she doesn’t recognise this. A baby being bitten by a small dog can be seriously injured.

Yes I do agree about parents dog but that dog is easily managed. It can be put in another room during visits etc. It’s also generally fine as long as you remove toys from the room. I’d still never let baby play with him or be with him unsupervised but my point is that I’ve never feared for my from a 10KG miniature cockerpoo.

I get annoyed as when I mention my concerns about the neighbour’s XL bully, partner just says “Your parents cockerpoo bites!” as if that’s relevant in the slightest. My parent’s dog occasionally biting doesn’t change the situation with the neighbours dog at all and it infuriates me when he compares.

OP posts:
namechange7891011 · 15/03/2026 20:27

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What is wrong with you?!

JanBlues2026 · 15/03/2026 20:29

I would move, your child will not be safe and I would be extremely concerned about your partners attitude to safety in general

Screamingabdabz · 15/03/2026 20:29

Why is your partner so blasé about your safety? He’s as bad as the owner. I feel worried for you just reading your op.

EmeraldRoulette · 15/03/2026 20:30

I feel as if most posters are missing the fact that the dog actually jumped on you.

have I gone mad? Your post does actually say that the 70 kg dog jumped on you. Yes, it was friendly, but that isn't the point! I would've fallen over. I think a lot of people would.

I would report it straight away, but your partner really needs to support you in this.