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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

484 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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IWantThisJob · 15/03/2026 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Reported. That’s vile.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:12

Crazy that someone will moan at me for being “snobbish” about council estates (despite me choosing to live in one) and then in the same breathe says I should move away from the council estate and live elsewhere like “the rest of us”. Showing their unconscious bias there that those who live in council estates are “other” than everyone else. Sounds like a champagne socialist

OP posts:
MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:13

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 15/03/2026 20:51

I don't agree at all. All XL bullies in the UK are from a vicious and dangerous bloodline. The dog has bitten the owners grandchild in the house FFS. The owner is scummy, but the dog itself is also a problem.

Because of the scummy owner.

I've been in the company of such dogs and they were beautifully mannered.

Keroppi · 15/03/2026 21:15

Realistically nothing will be done until it bites someone and she will be paranoid of everyone, so actually may go the opposite and be more like "fuck it may as well keep the dog off lead or walked during daytime since people are reporting me anyway"

You just need to suck it up and move and accept you will be saving for a deposit slower.

You can't be pushing baby in a pram or having a toddler going into the house or toddling down the road and then being jumped on and mauled by this dog who is already comfortable biting children and jumping over the fence and getting into your & your partners space! Sometimes dogs just snap and go crazy for babies in prams or in arms and especially this breed... sorry but you need to just play the pregnancy hormone card to your partner if you have to, to get the ball rolling on moving.

Plus the first 3 years are of vital importance to your baby, if you're stuck in your rough area think of what resources and people you have around for you and your baby?

Rent in a better area by a primary school you like, so you can stay in one area whilst you wait and save, rather than moving to another less shitty area to save £ and then having to move again for a decent primary school catchment

Goldeh · 15/03/2026 21:16

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:13

Because of the scummy owner.

I've been in the company of such dogs and they were beautifully mannered.

Their fucked up genetics make them cognitively unstable and prone to unpredictable behaviour changes. Even the beautifully mannered ones.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:17

@MusicMakesItAllBetter , all dogs are great until they're not.
An old thread had an a and e nurse saying most people were bitten by the families friendly dog who had never hurt a fly

Expect big dogs like this seriously maim and kill and most come from killer kimbo and breed by idiots.

No one should be feeling afraid like poor op now, frightened by a dog breed endlessly in the news killing and maiming !!

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:17

Keroppi · 15/03/2026 21:15

Realistically nothing will be done until it bites someone and she will be paranoid of everyone, so actually may go the opposite and be more like "fuck it may as well keep the dog off lead or walked during daytime since people are reporting me anyway"

You just need to suck it up and move and accept you will be saving for a deposit slower.

You can't be pushing baby in a pram or having a toddler going into the house or toddling down the road and then being jumped on and mauled by this dog who is already comfortable biting children and jumping over the fence and getting into your & your partners space! Sometimes dogs just snap and go crazy for babies in prams or in arms and especially this breed... sorry but you need to just play the pregnancy hormone card to your partner if you have to, to get the ball rolling on moving.

Plus the first 3 years are of vital importance to your baby, if you're stuck in your rough area think of what resources and people you have around for you and your baby?

Rent in a better area by a primary school you like, so you can stay in one area whilst you wait and save, rather than moving to another less shitty area to save £ and then having to move again for a decent primary school catchment

Very good advice thank you. I’m starting to feel bad for falling out with my mum, I’ve reached out and apologised to her for being so annoyed at her suggestion to rent elsewhere. I had reacted badly as I felt it wasn’t fair we had to uproot when it was the neighbour breaking the law, but I get it now.

OP posts:
Anna1mac · 15/03/2026 21:17

Report it. Without hesitation

trumpisruin · 15/03/2026 21:18

acorncrush · 15/03/2026 21:10

You need to leave.

This could kill your baby at any moment that it gets close enough. They randomly and unpredictably turn on owners and something small like a child. There are many many videos of these horrible attacks that come as if out of the blue. But it’s not out of the blue, the breed is known for this sudden behaviour.

You are right about how dangerous they are.

I have to agree with this and I am horrified and appalled at your partners blasé attitude.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:18

@Goldeh this is all so widely known I can't believe some people are still labouring under delusions that it's the owner ! See previous comment re a and e nurse and friendly family dog.

HortiGal · 15/03/2026 21:19

If the dog is legally exempt, you can report her and she will be questioned about breaching the conditions. They wont take him and destroy him which is unneccessary, if he is trained and handled correctly he doesn’t need to be killed.
Sometimes the warning works and owners shape up.
OP you sound really fixated on this dog and have trotted out quite a few of the hysterics printed in the press, plenty of this breed and many other large bull breeds live perfectly happy family lives.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:19

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:04

I knew people would be on with “it’s not the dog it’s the owner”. It’s both. Plenty of XL bullies with loving and dedicated and seemingly responsible owners have randomly snapped and killed the owner, the owner’s children or a random neighbour. This is what they do.

Edited

Absolute tosh.

Not all of them at all!!

I've known a few XL's in my life and they have all been beautifully mannered because they are treated supremely by their owners and are trained to listen to them and be commanded by them.

A dog will do what you tell it to if you raise it properly. A dog will protect you from harm and still be able to stop, on your command if it's raised properly.

You may live there to save money but personally I think you should consider moving

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:20

HortiGal · 15/03/2026 21:19

If the dog is legally exempt, you can report her and she will be questioned about breaching the conditions. They wont take him and destroy him which is unneccessary, if he is trained and handled correctly he doesn’t need to be killed.
Sometimes the warning works and owners shape up.
OP you sound really fixated on this dog and have trotted out quite a few of the hysterics printed in the press, plenty of this breed and many other large bull breeds live perfectly happy family lives.

She has had a warning before about muzzling and muzzled for a few weeks but then stopped again as she said it stressed the dog

OP posts:
acorncrush · 15/03/2026 21:20

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:13

Because of the scummy owner.

I've been in the company of such dogs and they were beautifully mannered.

This is the problem. People actually thinking this.

Don’t be so naive. They randomly and unpredictably attack. Children get scarred for life or killed.

Their manners are irrelevant.

If someone had a beautifully mannered pet tiger, its manners would be completely irrelevant too. It’s a killer.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:20

@TheLangyers that's good re your mum she will be worried sick !
I would be beyond terrified if you were my pregnant daughter.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:21

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:19

Absolute tosh.

Not all of them at all!!

I've known a few XL's in my life and they have all been beautifully mannered because they are treated supremely by their owners and are trained to listen to them and be commanded by them.

A dog will do what you tell it to if you raise it properly. A dog will protect you from harm and still be able to stop, on your command if it's raised properly.

You may live there to save money but personally I think you should consider moving

Not all will go on to snap but you don’t know whether yours will until it does.

There’s plenty of stuff online about people who used to support XL bullies and said that they just need good training who have then changed their tune after their dog has attacked them/their child.

OP posts:
NFPorterkeeponkeepingonNsoul · 15/03/2026 21:21

Mutant dog owners are not the brightest or most approachable of people.
Woman in our area has one it's huge and takes her for a walk.
Her teen daughter takes it out and she couldn't do anything if it flipped.
Three boisterous children in a flat +huge mutant dog ,what could go wrong.🤷

Besidemyselfwithworry · 15/03/2026 21:22

tealandteal · 15/03/2026 20:07

Honestly I don’t see what choice you have but to report.

I agree it needs reporting and I agree with your Mum, why on earth would you choose to live there with a baby on the way!

Greenwriter76 · 15/03/2026 21:23

This sounds like a nightmare OP, I feel for you. You should definitely move to rented accommodation if you can, especially with a baby on the way.
YANBU to report the dog, but I understand your anxiety at the potential consequences, having experienced living next to some awful people myself (who are now all in prison or dead!)
For everyone criticising the OP for wanting the dog destroyed, it’s illegal to rehome this breed, so if the authorities know it attacked the poor grandchild, there will be no alternative.
Unfortunately these types of breeds seem to attract the very owners that exacerbate their risks.

cheframsay · 15/03/2026 21:23

Report it. Your partner is an idiot comparing it to a cockerpoo.

I have something similar going on although not as bad as you, I’m in a lovely rural area and never had a problem before, some idiots have just moved in with an XL bully a few weeks ago. It was being walked unleashed and unmuzzled right next to my house - I just started recording the few times I saw them and they eventually confronted me about this and thankfully haven’t come back, but I feel unsafe that it’s even in the area. These are young professional types too, not the typical chav owner, just absolute idiots.

I will be reporting it soon. I would recommend that you get some footage discretely if possible of a breach such as no muzzle, no lead etc, better if you can get a few videos of this on separate days and maybe report it in a few weeks time, although I feel so sad for you living close to this in the meanwhile, I truly understand the anxiety and fear, also the anger at the selfish, thick owners.

Log everything now, type up this incident in your notes so that you have a clear recollection of it, get some footage. Maybe email your local councillor first and explain you are extremely fearful of retaliation and backlash and see if they can advise or have a way to present this to police as a community safety issue, make it clear that your footage or incident will identify you and you don’t consent to them sharing any of those identifying details.

Your mum just sounds so scared, she likely wants you to see the severity of the situation but I think you already do, just feel trapped. If it really does come to it, you should try to move although I agree - you really shouldn’t have to.

I’n so sorry you are dealing with this, but please start logging and recording anything you can so you can build up some evidence to report this, you are well within your right to report it and will likely protect other people by doing so.

trumpisruin · 15/03/2026 21:24

You cant reason with the morons who defend these creatures. Leave the area OP.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:24

Yes but reporting also opens op up to this woman turning on her.
Op needs to smile it out and pretend a little longer.
In your house can you get the protective sprays against dogs ?
And how long will it take you to move

I woukdnt talk about this in the house if your partner gets upset and rises voices your neighbour will hear.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:24

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:17

@MusicMakesItAllBetter , all dogs are great until they're not.
An old thread had an a and e nurse saying most people were bitten by the families friendly dog who had never hurt a fly

Expect big dogs like this seriously maim and kill and most come from killer kimbo and breed by idiots.

No one should be feeling afraid like poor op now, frightened by a dog breed endlessly in the news killing and maiming !!

Well i guess I'm one of the fortunate ones then who has been around these breeds and they have been beautifully mannered because the owners treats them supremely and they have been trained to obey their commands.

Never even saw or heard anything about them nipping in a play fight.
Open mouth of course but never actually went for it with their teeth.

I know I'm one of the far and few between

waterrat · 15/03/2026 21:24

Op I'd move in this situation - are you in social housing - can you do a swap?

greyweek · 15/03/2026 21:25

I think definitely report (for everyone’s sake), but don’t expect anything to change.
You need to move.