To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

[TheLangyers]

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

I LOVE animals but I would absolutely shit my pants if one of those dogs jumped on me.

If such a dog had jumped on me I’d be scared to leave especially with a baby in a pram. I’d be moving. I really really hate those dogs. You could try to report the incidents and the dog biting the grandchild. If they went to A&E then there will be a record. I wonder though how realistic it is that they destroy the dog. The process could take a while and then you’ll have your baby. Also won’t she just get a new dog. These issues with neighbours can just go on and on.

Personally I'd move. I know it's expensive moving but you will never be able to relax where you live.

And how did partner feel about dog jumping up on his pregnant partner

OP, my worry is your partner’s attitude. You may move again and end up near similar neighbours. You need to really speak to him several times until he gets the risk. Maybe get some news articles. He is being very stupid about the situation. Him educating himself is key to your safe future, wherever you live.

Honestly. I kind of agree with your mum. You can’t risk your infant being around this dog. Today’s incident demonstrates how the dog can appear without warning so you can’t plan for it. What if you had had a newborn in a pram today. They could have been jumped on, or worse. I understand private rent is more expensive but it’s simply not worth the risk.

you should 100% report the dog. You are early in your pregnancy so hopefully with enough anonymous reports by concerned neighbours (you, your partner, your mum….you get the gist) the dog will be removed by the time baby arrives.

i should add I don’t hate dogs. I have one and she is wonderful. My issue is dangerous breeds and irresponsible owners. It’s not the dogs fault, but you can’t risk the life of your infant.

Eh? They're cheap to live on because they're undesirable - that's how capitalism works. Social deprivation has lots of causes and causes lots of issues. There's nothing 'champagne socialist' about not wanting to live on one - most people would rather not!

You've clearly identified yourself that this women is not a responsible person. Your mum agrees. You'd be better raising your child with less money but in a safer environment.

The “dog or owner” debate is irrelevant to the thread anyway. Whether or not you believe it’s the dog or the owner doesn’t change the fact that this huge, 70KG dog (that is actually as tall as me when on its hind legs) is currently uncontrolled and presenting a danger to a pregnant woman/newborn baby. What if it “comes over to say hello” again when I’ve got my baby strapped to my chest in a carrier? I’m only small and it’d knock me straight over and hurt the baby.

I have a Cockapoo and thankfully we don't have too many xl bullies here but they absolutely petrify me and I can't understand why anyone would have one especially in a home with a child. The adults choose that and it's a death sentence for any child living with one.

Personally I would want to get the dog or us away as soon as I could . If I'm walking my dog and I've seen one I've literally left the field straight away. My little dog would have absolutely no chance with one. So what chance does a child. Imagine your baby starting to walk and being knocked over outside by it and hitting their head.

You're sensible to be very aware.... Your partner on the other hand ?!

We actually agree, I feel the same about council estates having social issues, having always lived on one and experienced it myself. What annoyed me is that poster’s attitude was somewhat hypocritical as they called me snobby but then was hypocritical in the same response saying I should leave the council estate and live elsewhere “like the rest of us”.

Very much gave the impression of “You, who lives on a council estate, are not allowed an opinion on them but I, who live elsewhere, am.”

The thing is, if the dog does snap and kill a child, it doesn’t mean it’s bad mannered or a bad dog, or nasty. It is simply doing what it is bred to do. We can’t judge the dog for that, they are totally unstable.

Ethically I don’t even think it’s fair on the dogs to keep them alive and expect them not to kill, it’s just what they do. I don’t doubt for a second that they can be well mannered, lovely, sweet, blah blah. I’m sure they can, but we still can’t deny their nature or instability.

It won't definitely be destroyed. It'll go in front of magistrates for a decision to be taken. For a report of repeated walking without a muzzle and a neighbour complaint, I'd probably opt for destruction, and generally I try to avoid destruction where possible if there is any sort of excuse/remorse by the owner.

But it's definitely not guaranteed. I'd report anyway though.

I would honestly move. You’re going to want to take baby on walks I presume? How would you ever feel safe leaving and coming back to the house with a dog like that around. I certainly wouldn’t. I think it’s harsh that your mum has fallen out with you over this but I do agree that you need to move and prioritise the wellbeing of you and the baby or be extremely firm with the neighbour about how concerned you are for your safety and see what she says. These dogs are not a joke. If I see them whilst I’m out with DC I immediately cross the road and get as far away as possible.

Some ideas:
Find out if you have a local dog warden and see if anything can be done.

Move out. This is for your baby. You will never forgive yourself if something were to happen because you didn't want to pay more rent.

Have a serious chat with your partner. He needs to be far more aware about dangerous dogs.

This.

Could you discuss this with RSPCA in the meantime?

Mention your fears about being identified as the complainant.

Type all of your concerns onto crime stoppers. It’s anonymous. I have seen first hand what these dogs are capable of and I would have no qualms about reporting it.

Report!

I was walking back home with my poorly toddler a few weeks ago from the gp surgery and an unattended xl bully darted out of a back alley and came running up barking and trying to jump up at us. 😫

Never screamed so loud. Thankfully I’m tall and ds was being carried at the time or I dread to think what it would have done. Passers by came to help and I reported it as soon as I got home.

A few hours later I saw on the local parent network a woman asking if anyone had seen her ‘friendly giant’.

Such dog owners disgust me. I love dogs but these xl bullies should be culled. Anyone who has one around children in the home should immediately have SS involved in my opinion. Someone with such a lack of intelligence to have a vicious breed around children is not safe to bring them up.

I’m sorry, but I think you sound a bit unstable, and there are a lot of inconsistencies in your story. You say the dog jumped on your back trying to be friendly? But you’ve said it’s not a friendly dog? You’ve said your partner laughs it off and encourages the dog to come over and be petted? Surely if your partner had heard everything you’ve shared about the dog attacking the autistic grandchild and multiple dogs, surely he wouldn’t be encouraging the dog over? Either that or your partner is rather foolish. I’m not trying to sound unkind, but it sounds like you are very anxious, and you are hyper focused on the dog.

Awful dogs usually with thick as mince owners. Report as much as you can, I’d even do a few anonymous with different reports so it definitely gets destroyed

No dog is 100% and absolutely not this dog’s fault it has a terrible owner and I would 100% report with dates and times of incidents.

I have Labradors. Never had an issue with any of time, no growling and no barking and very obedient but I have NEVER left one of my own children alone with any of them until they were over 10. This included being left downstairs dogs and children apart. That’s one of my own Labradors that I bred never mind someone else’s dog. This dogs kill and are savage hence the rules. No I’m 100% with you.

I doubt anything would happen if you report it.
I have a relative who lived in social housing with communal gardens. He was out in the garden with his dog, and his neighbour's bully type came out and killed his dog.
It went to the police. My relative did a house swap, and the new residents had a dog and the exact same thing happened to them. Their dog was killed too.
It has now all gone to court but nothing much has really happened. The people still have their dog. They have not even been evicted from their social housing.

You’ll injure yourself stretching like that.

FWIW I work from home and partner does 12-hour-shifts, so I see incidents involving the dog a lot more often.

Perfectly normal for a 5’3 pregnant woman to be scared being jumped on by a 70KG dog! It bloody hurt.

Move and rent.

@Camcam did you report.

OP does your mum own her house outright? Or another relative like a grandparent or your in-laws? If so you could look at getting a guarantor mortgage. You can buy with zero deposit this way. There may be some other options too, for a low deposit mortgage? A decent broker can help with this (not one that works for one bank). There may be other options like shared ownership properties or living in a caravan to save.

To get your DP to understand, print off the a list from Wiki of fatal dog attacks in the UK, the vast majority are XL bullies and American bull dogs. Print off stories of fatal dog attacks. Agree with him that they are very loyal to their owners but pit bull containing dogs are prone to brain tumours that alter behaviour and there are no warning signs.