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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

484 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Climbingrosexx · 15/03/2026 20:55

As people have said report in a few weeks but definitely report. If people must keep these dogs then there are laws surrounding their ownership and she seems to be breaking every one. I don't understand why your partner is not backing you on this one.

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 20:55

You move. There's a reason we don't all live in £500 council houses and it's because we don't want to live next door to people like that. The 'few years' will be some of the most formative of your child's life. Might want to re-think your partner's attitude to safety too.

And if course, also report. Other people's children are at risk too.

Icecreamisthebest · 15/03/2026 20:55

Yes report.

Also I would read your partner the riot act about his attitude towards this dog. I would expect him to support you by never going up to the dog again.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 20:56

@TheLangyers I've just read the updates about being casual and fake smiles ..perfect wait a few weeks and don't even tell your stupid partner and report it.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 15/03/2026 20:57

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:44

You know bloody damn well and don’t pretend you don’t. If you don’t know then you’ve clearly never lived on one. The close proximity of houses, the prevalence of some rough families who’ve lived there for generations being intimating towards newcomers etc can make for quite an unpleasant environment. I’ve grown up in council housing and am well allowed my opinion

Edited

I live in a council estate and very rarely see any XL bullies. I occasionally see one being walked by a dog walker but that's about it.

Obviously there are some wronguns but overall I feel our estate looks out for each other. People will share with others and would give you the shirt off their back.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:57

I private rent. It’s cheap because it’s a rough area.

OP posts:
Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 15/03/2026 20:57

Pit bulls have been a banned breed in the UK for many years.
Report her breaking the law buy no secure garden or muzzle. Why wouldn't you? She intimidates you them report that. Police and council have powers to evict such people and destroy their ddogs.

pippapipps · 15/03/2026 20:58

Tbh I think you should move if you’re worried now how will you feel when the baby comes.. I understand your saving money for a deposit but can you honestly say you can stay where you are for a few more years ..no I’d be moving ASAP

Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 20:58

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 20:55

You move. There's a reason we don't all live in £500 council houses and it's because we don't want to live next door to people like that. The 'few years' will be some of the most formative of your child's life. Might want to re-think your partner's attitude to safety too.

And if course, also report. Other people's children are at risk too.

I’m a bit confused that the OP can live in a council house for a couple of years while saving for a deposit. The people I know who are in social housing have either been there for a long time or waited for years and years. It sounds grim but on the other hand what a bonus to be in cheap accommodation and saving money.

ETA I see OP has updated that it’s a private rent. In that case @TheLangyers I’d cut your losses and move. Consider leaving your partner there though, he sounds like he’s quite at home.

WeatherDependant · 15/03/2026 20:58

Move. Unlikely the police will do anything , and if they did she could easily get another. You’ll never feel settled or safe.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:59

Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 20:58

I’m a bit confused that the OP can live in a council house for a couple of years while saving for a deposit. The people I know who are in social housing have either been there for a long time or waited for years and years. It sounds grim but on the other hand what a bonus to be in cheap accommodation and saving money.

ETA I see OP has updated that it’s a private rent. In that case @TheLangyers I’d cut your losses and move. Consider leaving your partner there though, he sounds like he’s quite at home.

Edited

Living on a council estate doesn’t necessarily mean living in a council house, it hasn’t meant this since Thatcher’s era. We pay £550 a month, I believe the council tenants pay £400ish.

We chose to rent here as it’s cheap due to being awfully rough and it was the only to way to save for a house deposit.

now I’m pregnant I’m seeing it very differently though. Maybe my mum is right

OP posts:
fatphalange · 15/03/2026 20:59

You’d be irresponsible not to report it asap

WeatherDependant · 15/03/2026 21:00

Actually, move and then report.

ImFinePMSL · 15/03/2026 21:00

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:15

This is what is worrying me. If I knew the dog would definitely be destroyed if I reported then I’d do it. But I’m worried she’ll just get a warning and then be gunning for me, then I’d be even more in danger. I’m scared of a situation where she’s screaming at me outside and the dog picks up on the tension and goes for me

Edited

It’s very unlikely the dog will be destroyed, unless it seriously injures or kills someone.

If the woman ever does decide to scream at you then you need to phone the police.

Personally, I couldn’t live like this and I would have to move.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:00

@TheLangyers of it's in the front garden a lot wait till it is in a few weeks end then maybe get your mum or a friend to call and say a dog that looks very mjuch like a bully is in a front garden and give the address.
However as a pp said until it attacks and kills it looks like the police may ignore.
I'm with your mum .
Move.

Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 21:01

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:59

Living on a council estate doesn’t necessarily mean living in a council house, it hasn’t meant this since Thatcher’s era. We pay £550 a month, I believe the council tenants pay £400ish.

We chose to rent here as it’s cheap due to being awfully rough and it was the only to way to save for a house deposit.

now I’m pregnant I’m seeing it very differently though. Maybe my mum is right

Edited

Fair enough. Where I live it does mean that, all the council estates are now private and the social housing estates are all social housing only.

TheFormidableMrsC · 15/03/2026 21:02

I’m in a similar situation. I was going to report but the postman did after it went for him. Nothing has happened yet.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:04

I knew people would be on with “it’s not the dog it’s the owner”. It’s both. Plenty of XL bullies with loving and dedicated and seemingly responsible owners have randomly snapped and killed the owner, the owner’s children or a random neighbour. This is what they do.

OP posts:
VeterinaryCareAssistant · 15/03/2026 21:04

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 20:55

You move. There's a reason we don't all live in £500 council houses and it's because we don't want to live next door to people like that. The 'few years' will be some of the most formative of your child's life. Might want to re-think your partner's attitude to safety too.

And if course, also report. Other people's children are at risk too.

I live in a £500 council house. The estate is fine. My neighbours are fine. Not everyone in social housing is rough or a trouble maker.

REDB99 · 15/03/2026 21:05

Keepingthingsinteresting · 15/03/2026 20:48

Wow, you want the dog to be destroyed. Totally lost any sympathy from me so not going to say any of the sensible stuff I had lined up. Whatever you think it is the scummy owner that is the problem, not the dog. Best make your mind up and move and start saving your pennies again.

Of course the dog needs to be destroyed. They’re a horrid breed owned by irresponsible owners. A terrible and dangerous combination. The owner clearly wouldn’t follow the guidance even with police involvement. If the police remove the dog it will be destroyed as that breed cannot be safely rehomed (who on earth would want it apart from another irresponsible owner). They should have been completely banned and all of them destroyed.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:05

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 15/03/2026 21:04

I live in a £500 council house. The estate is fine. My neighbours are fine. Not everyone in social housing is rough or a trouble maker.

I do know this because I myself live on a council estate (private renting, but grew up in council housing) and am not rough, or a trouble maker. I just want a quiet life. However they do tend to be associated with social deprivation and the issues that come with it.

I didn’t open this thread to discuss social issues, I wanted advice. I regret ever mentioning that it’s a bloody council estate. I thought it was relevant as living in terraced houses in very close proximity is a bit different than if my next door neighbour on a private road had an XL bully and we all had detached houses and loads of space in between us.

OP posts:
SpringsOnTheWay · 15/03/2026 21:05

Give it another week or so before you report it. The last thing you want is for her to turn on you

lessglittermoremud · 15/03/2026 21:08

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:49

Yes I do want the dog to be destroyed given it bites its owners 4 year old autistic grandson. She doesn’t tell anyone about this. The walls are thin and I’ve heard the child screaming in pain and her scolding the dog afterwards, and then seen them walking out of the house to go to A&E with the child bleeding.

Edited

The hospital would have a duty of care to report dog bites as well so it’s very odd that this hasn’t been done.
If you know it’s bitten the grandchild recently the report it and if she comes pointing the finger at you, you can point out that dog bites on a minor child would have raised a flag. If it’s happened multiple times social services would have been called in… it all sounds very odd!

FairyBatman · 15/03/2026 21:09

Wait a couple of weeks to report it, don’t tell a soul, not your partner, no-one. If she asks about it play dumb and sympathise.

acorncrush · 15/03/2026 21:10

You need to leave.

This could kill your baby at any moment that it gets close enough. They randomly and unpredictably turn on owners and something small like a child. There are many many videos of these horrible attacks that come as if out of the blue. But it’s not out of the blue, the breed is known for this sudden behaviour.

You are right about how dangerous they are.

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