Not wanting to share a toilet with men at work

[Babylambchop]

I have started at a new workplace and its toilets are non-compliant with the law. Ordinary toilets - 3 normal cubicles, not floor to ceiling, with shared hand washing- turned into mixed sex. So all toilets are just 'toilets'. I have tried to get on with it, despite absolutely hating the idea, but last week the seats were all up with pubes stuck everywhere and piss all over the floor, so couldn't even really get to the loo without trousers going in it. Plus kept bumping into male colleagues where we were all a bit awkward. I hate it and I can't get over the fact they're illegal and I shouldn't have to put up with it. Dreading my really heavy period next week. Wibu to complain? In all honesty I dont think I can, but ffs!!!

Yes that’s the best solution. But as a woman and former mooncup user I don’t particularly want to see other women’s menstrual blood either.

I once worked somewhere where once a month the ladies would look like an army field hospital. Virtually every cubicle would have a used pad and blood in the bowl or blood on the seat or on the floor. And yes we did have bins.

I've been in women's loos like that too. It's not nice, I don't disagree.
But I just don't think suggesting someone wipes their moon cup before taking it to the sink is a proportionate response to the issue of unisex loos with unisex shared hand-washing. That was my point.

I'm (clearly) male, I've been to communal loos in compliant places like WeWorks, I still find it really weird and hate it. I imagine it's far worse for women, blood, fear of assault etc. I'm not sure why anyone would tell people how they should feel about this and tell people to get on with it.

Smear menstural fluid all over every surface.... just to make the point.

I was specifically replying to one poster who said she felt self conscious about rinsing her mooncup in a mixed toilet and suggesting a solution. That”s all.

Yes its a trough sink too. Its also a new building.

Yes, I know. To which the obvious response is don't have mixed toilets.

I thought if women and men were in the same loo block, the actual cubicle walls and door have to be floor to ceiling? We have those - NHS. 4 separate cubicles/ loos in the room with a wash bowl in each.

Neither would I. But if the cubicles are floor to ceiling you’ve have to. I don’t even like pass g men in the doorway in and out of the loos, but perhaps that’s on me 🤷‍♀️

It’s a new building!! So they have just decided that despite these not being designed for mixed use they are going to do it anyway! I would not stand for this.

wow. That’s pretty horrendous. You’ve got a single sex design in a mixed sex space.

I can’t see how a building inspector ever signed the building off.

No, that seems dubious.

And it was unhelpful, because it missed the point.

Clearly, I wiped it off before leaving the cubicle- i didn't walk out dripping 🙄 Having someone see a smear as opposed to full on Carrie is beside the point though.

Women need privacy to clean up properly and not be rushed. I'd hate a young teen to have had that experience.

Just because it doesn't bother you, doesn't mean other people are wrong to feel differently. You aren't the arbiter of other women's feelings.

Yeah, very dodgy.

I used to work in an old building and the men's toilets were condemned due to the asbestos riddled ceiling falling in and the entire 'wing' had to be closed off, the men then had to use the women's toilets whilst a new building was found (local authority) - we all understood it was a temporary and less than ideal situation. We could also walk to the local authority building next door (approx 6 mins walk away) if you wanted a single sex space. But to think this was a deliberate choice is really odd.

Interesting. As a person with multiple hidden disabilities, the gapped doors are my worst nightmare and I will always choose a fully enclosed cubicle where available!

There's an even newer building than this one. I'll have a walk through later, but I've been told they're all communal.

I think a PP is right a wide eyed “I think we are breaking the law” comment to HR might be the right strategy.

This is such a shame to read. It seems that as women, we are often expected to take on the additional burden of cleanliness just to have a decent place to relieve ourselves. We must be saving cleaning staff time and effort. Out and about yesterday I found myself in the same unfortunate situation at two establishments. Before I could even use the facilities, I had to first put the toilet seat down and wipe it clean of any mess. This is not only unpleasant but also quite demeaning. It’s astonishing that we should have to deal with such conditions in both work and public restrooms, whether self-contained or not. We deserve better than this. It's bad enough being put into an uncomfortable situation with men in the same toilet. They should all be separated by sex. End of!

Apologies. I misread your post.

Just sending solidarity to the OP. I have very heavy and difficult perimenopausal periods at the moment and would feel very upset having a male colleague in the cubicle next to me or sharing a sink with men.

I used a Pret loo recently which customers could access with a code. It had multiple cubicles and one shared sink. It was mixed sex. What I found disturbing was that once you are in the main sink area, the door can only be opened from the outside with the code (ie no one could get in but I could open it to get out). So- I was effectively locked in the loo and sink area with unknown men coming out of their cubicle. If I was attacked, the door could only be opened with a code. I felt really vulnerable in there.

I am only adding this to say that a lot
more needs to be done around women’s safety and dignity and loos.

I went to a Glee Club recently. The loos there were mixed, individual labelled cubicles with no gaps but communal sink area. The communal sink area was open to the show area - something I have also seen in one or two restaurants abroad - which meant that any commotion in there would be heard/seen outside.

This. I had a heavy period in work and bled through a moon cup into a pad. I don’t want them to hear the rip and rustling sound of changing a pad, witness blood being cleaned off fingers, and I don’t want to put up with piss on the floor, male piss stench in the room and seats left up. I don’t want a (possibly creepy) random male colleague to have the right to be in the next cubicle when my knickers are down.

Unfortunately they are less safe and scientifically proven to be less hygienic than a traditional non-domestic single sex cubicle.