Urgh, pervy work colleague for a change

[Cheeseandvinegaronchips]

Left a job around 6 months ago, stayed in touch with the group via a WhatsApp group, some more than others. There was a man I got on with, spoke to him around once a month on average on WhatsApp since I left, just about the job mainly and he told me about new developments in the company and so on, him ranting about the job and wanting to leave.
Whilst working at the company I knew he had a partner and young kids and he knew I was with someone. I thought once a month talking about work only was harmless.

I've just had a message saying 'You're gorgeous btw ;) xxx' I've told him that's inappropriate, I do not appreciate it and block.

Maybe blocking was an overreaction but he is not a close/long time friend. I am fed up with this, did I do something wrong? We only spoke about the job. It's just vile.

To give him the benefit of the doubt that there is a very very small chance he is now single and believed I was (but I highly doubt this) he's not even gone the right way about it, just going straight in with a comment on my appearance.

Keep him blocked tell him you will report him for sexual harassment and actually spend your energy doing the job you are paid to do

Thanks, can they do anything since I left the company 6 months ago?

I've just remembered he even met my fiancé at my leaving party in October and shook his hand! Creep

He isn’t a colleague. He’s an ex colleague she stayed friendly with.

She can’t report him for anything because telling a friend you find them attractive isn’t sexual harassment or anything close to it. She’s blocked him and that’s it.

I think it’s a bit of a drama over nothing. He told her she was attractive, that’s all. That might not have been welcome, and she is absolutely right to block him if she doesn’t want to be friends with someone who fancies her. But it’s not like he sent her anything sexually explicit or propositioned her. His poor wife is the only wronged party here.

Of course not.

@Cheeseandvinegaronchips tbh you left the job six months ago, so why were you still talking about the job with an ex-colleague? He took it as you may be interested in him and you talking about a job that you no longer do was an excuse to chat to him / flirt possibly. So he made the first move.

He made a move, you're not interested, its no deeper than that.

You would look utterly ridiculous.

By keeping in touch with him and maintaining a spurious dialogue over a job you no longer have, I imagine he thought you were indicating interest and he wanted to see if he was right. He wasn't. Move on. No biggie.

You’ve blocked him and that should be the end of it. He complimented you and you’re not interested. There is no more to it than that.

He was inappropriate but it's not like he sent you a dick pic. No drama needed. Just forget him and move on.

one comment, a compliment by an EX colleague doesn't equate to sexual harassment lol.
Just stop talking to him.

If he had been female, the above wouldn't have even been relevant.

So because he's male, I was not allowed to communicate at all with him after leaving?

It’s just the way a lot of men are. They don’t chat/socialise with women unless they are interested sexually. Just move on, it’s a tale as old as time.

I agree..it's pathetic tbh. He messaged asking about my new company and help on the interview and I helped. Sick of men taking any basic occasional communication as interest.

Why is that relevant? He may have got wrong end of the stick, just say you're not interested, you have blocked so its sorted anyway. I think that was a huge overreaction, juat saying you're not interested/in a relationship is surely sufficient.

How on earth to people get in relationships/hook ups if they dont make advances, its not like he sent a dick pic! Married people hook up all the tine also. You really are making it into a big deal.

I really dont see what is so awful, obv if he is with his partner still it makes him a total shit but its hardly traumatising what he said.

You're being ridiculous! How on earth are relationships supposed to start if someone doesn't make a move first? He's misread the signals, you're not interested and you both move on. It happens every single day. Its not weird, its not harassment and you're not special. It's just two humans communicating on different levels.

Because he knows neither of us are single as I mentioned. No need for your screeching sneery 'you're not special '.

Stop painting him out as some poor innocent man. He knew I wasn't single.

He knows neither of us are single, did you read my op correctly as I'm not so sure.

Can people ensure they read posts before trying to give me a hard time

I did, you clearly didnt read my post. I said married people hook up all the time, he tried his luck, it wasnt an offensive message, you said no. Just cant figure out what you're so upset over.

Indeed. Ignore the incels and their handmaidens, OP. Blocking and thinking "ugh" seems entirely appropriate to me.