Urgh, pervy work colleague for a change

[Cheeseandvinegaronchips]

Left a job around 6 months ago, stayed in touch with the group via a WhatsApp group, some more than others. There was a man I got on with, spoke to him around once a month on average on WhatsApp since I left, just about the job mainly and he told me about new developments in the company and so on, him ranting about the job and wanting to leave.
Whilst working at the company I knew he had a partner and young kids and he knew I was with someone. I thought once a month talking about work only was harmless.

I've just had a message saying 'You're gorgeous btw ;) xxx' I've told him that's inappropriate, I do not appreciate it and block.

Maybe blocking was an overreaction but he is not a close/long time friend. I am fed up with this, did I do something wrong? We only spoke about the job. It's just vile.

Married people 'hooking up all the time' are twats

You are turning this into a drama. You have already blocked him- move on.

He's had a lucky escape imho @Cheeseandvinegaronchips you sound unhinged.

Ok

I think it’s a massive overreaction, it’s definitely not sexual harassment.

And in your second or third post you did say there’s a possibility he was, and thought you were, single.

Are you gorgeous btw?

This. It's just how it is sometimes.

He finds OP attractive. After they no longer worked together but continued communicating, he expressed it.

Poor bugger.

Obviously liked her but remained professional at work. Now a suggestion about reporting him for sexual harassment.......what a world this is

Bloody hell!! He needs locking up for life!!

He’s a buffoon, he probably got pissed and thought he’d make a little move to test the waters. Your reaction was fine but you don’t really have much cause to go any further, you don’t work with each other anymore!

Poor bugger? He's married.

All the apologists coming out...if he were your husband I doubt you'd be saying the same.

Maybe he thought you were the type who’d be up for more. Affairs and flings often start with one person making a first move, in fact how else would they start?

Let it go and channel your energy into something more fulfilling other than having the hump over an unsolicited compliment.

Poor little married man, got rejected when he tried to initiate an affair 😭 😭 I'm so sad (sarcasm btw)

A few people on this thread seem unhinged, op is not one of them

Aibu... always a crazy response!

Yes @Cheeseandvinegaronchips he's a creep and you can vent and feel pissed off.

Of course it's inappropriate and disrespectful.

Even if you're single, it doesn't mean you want to feel 'fair game' for every interaction with a man. When I was going through divorce, I had a window cleaner, two tradesman and a neighbour all clumsily try it on. It made me feel horrible. That I couldn't just be normal and friendly with anyone. The horrible part is because you then feel you've done something to encourage it. @Cheeseandvinegaronchips you haven't. He's a creep.

I don’t think it can really be news to you @Cheeseandvinegaronchips that some people are not monogamous? You aren’t interested in interacting on that level and he is. For all you know he’s single, or not monogamous, or looking for an affair, or wanted to cheer you up and has different boundaries, or whatever. It’s not excusing him, because I don’t think he has to live by your rules, so has he really done anything at all? Personally I would find it tedious if a male friend started shifting our relationship in a direction I had no interest in. I’m adult though so I’d just say so, and I certainly wouldn’t feel harassed or like calling his work place

I had similar happen, I left a job a few years ago and one of my colleagues messaged me on Facebook saying hi, asking how I was etc. I don't mind hearing from people at all, I knew this guy, not very well, but he seemed nice enough. After a few messages he said that if he was brave enough he'd chat me up. I just said thanks and that was it. No blocking, no drama, he didn't message again after that, I think he felt a bit embarrassed.

I didn't feel creeped out by it, if anything I was a bit surprised because he was always a bit shy and not very confident. I don't hold it against him and as far as I'm concerned he didn't do anything wrong. If he'd been married or in a relationship then I might have said something, but I wouldn't have blocked him and I certainly wouldn't have spoken to my old employer about it.

Right, but in my case I know he is married.

He’s a creep. You were right to block him.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this sort of thing from male colleagues and it’s really disappointing.

I dont think anyone is disputing that!

Your first sentence is batshit. Your second sentence reasonable. Quite extraordinary.

There is a LOT of misandry on MN. The degree to which it's been normalised/accepted on here is actually shameful.

100%.

I dont think anyone has really been an apologist. I wouldn't feel sorry for him, esp if hes married/in a relationship but surely just say no and move on.

You did the right thing blocking him.
Opportunistic creep.
They are everywhere.

Are you saying its shameful people have accepted that it is ok he sent a message saying she was gorgeous?

It is disappointing but unless they are harassing you, it in a position of authority where it is inappropriate saying no and blocking is appropriate. The dramatics about it all are OTT IMO.