Urgh, pervy work colleague for a change

[Cheeseandvinegaronchips]

Left a job around 6 months ago, stayed in touch with the group via a WhatsApp group, some more than others. There was a man I got on with, spoke to him around once a month on average on WhatsApp since I left, just about the job mainly and he told me about new developments in the company and so on, him ranting about the job and wanting to leave.
Whilst working at the company I knew he had a partner and young kids and he knew I was with someone. I thought once a month talking about work only was harmless.

I've just had a message saying 'You're gorgeous btw ;) xxx' I've told him that's inappropriate, I do not appreciate it and block.

Maybe blocking was an overreaction but he is not a close/long time friend. I am fed up with this, did I do something wrong? We only spoke about the job. It's just vile.

People are just wondering what about the situation was ‘pervy’? It just seems an extreme way to describe someone who just made an unwelcome advance.

You aren’t interested and that’s fine. But the moral outrage and accusations of being ‘pervy’ just seem a bit extreme

OP - are you ok? i think its a bit disproportionate your outrage - for whatever reason, he decided to compliment you, maybe hes single, maybe he thought you might be, or maybe he's just a chancer - either way, a 'not interested' would have sufficed surely... you seem outraged he said what he did.... its very extreme.

Of course not.

People don't usually keep in contact with colleagues of the opposite sex unless they are either good friends or they are interested in each other romantically.

Even if they are "just" good friends, they are unlikely to stay in touch unless one of them wants a romantic relationship.

He has obviously mis-read the signs and has done nothing worse than pay you a compliment.

I expect he has got the message now, so get over it, you don't need to try to ruin him.

Poor little man, only trying to pay me a compliment, got the wrong idea 🙄

These attitudes are ridiculous, men and women are allowed to communicate without it being more, I've managed that with other males. He's married, why the fuck are you defending him? He also knows im not single.
Stop making excuses for him, he's a creep. I'm convinced people are just doing this on purpose now to stir.

He is married with young kids.

Me responding to these ridiculous comments is just encouraging it further so I'm wasting my time. If it were your husbands you would be outraged.

He sounds shite. And cheesy. Like why would you say it like that?

What did he think your response would be?

'Oh, Barry from business development, I'm so pleased you told me that as I think you're absolutely stunning and think we should immediately find the nearest hotel to fulfill our passionate carnal desire'?!

He was wrong to message you like that. It wasn’t welcome so you blocked him. That’s the end of it.

Him being married is irrelevant as you weren’t interested. I am still wondering what was ‘pervy’ about it? He’s most likely a cheat but you do know what a perv is, don’t you?

Many would be outraged that you were messaging him even though it wasn’t innocent.

You keep saying how awful everyone is and that you are walking away

Yes, like I said all communication with men unless absolutely necessary should be illegal. 🙄

You are clearly being obtuse. How many posts are about women messaging other women’s husbands and that it’s inappropriate.

Honestly, this amount of drama isn’t worth it - perhaps get a hobby…

You are a (supposedly respectable) married woman and yet you were exchanging messages with a married man for months after you no longer had a good reason to! No wonder he thought he was on a promise.

Jezebel!

So many men just have to try it on. I'd just message saying 'You didn't have to say that. I'm blocking you now'. Idiot.

It might have been, not everyone is heterosexual.

Is he still married? He could be separated. Telling someone they are beautiful is not a crime, regardless of their relationship status. He didn't ask you to jump in to bed with him. He paid you a compliment. That is all! My dp has told my friends they look nice/pretty/stunning when we've been heading out for the night. Not at any point have I thought he was hitting on them, simply paying a compliment and boosting someone's self esteem. I took have told male friends they look handsome, my dh hasn't taken any offence to this and none of them thought i wanted to jump in the sack with them.
For what ever reason youre uncomfortable with it. Block and move on. Stop creating drama where there isn't any

And to call him a perv? Get over yourself

What was it in response to had you or some ex colleague implied you weren't gorgeous? Kisses a bit much, but some people use them for everyone.

My expectations of what could have happened because of the use of the word 'perv' have been sadly disappointed. No cornering in a lift, no dick pics, no whispering of BDSM fantasies.

No one has said differently though, it DH was messaging other women saying they were gorgeous we'd be done. You are posting from your point of view, you arent his wife. Hes sent one inappropriate message, you've said no thanks. That is literally the end 🤷🏻‍♀️

Its laughable that you have posted on her when you think youre right anyway, what are you actually asking,? AIBU - everyone - yes! No I'm not you're just saying it to stir things 🙄

Men do this all the time, the ones who do are dickheads, but they are not pervs (unless they are sending unsolicited dick pics etc). No one is saying they are not nice but as adults we can say no thanks, block, ignore or whatever. Its just not that deep.

I know, I was thinking dirty old schooled, the type with wondering hands trapping her in a lift or stairwell. Alas, a compliment was given and she's clutching her pearls. Only on MN 🤣

You’re acting like he whipped his cock out in the office lifts.

This really made me laugh!

I’m delighted, @ThatsthelasttimeIplaythetartforyouJerry !

Also I’d like to add that I bloody LOVE your user name.

If you were texting my husband you wouldn't be doing it for long sweetie. Leave him alone, he's taken. Stop leading him on.