Hello all. This is my first post and I’m hoping you can offer some advice.
I’ve been living with my DP for 4 years now. I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with my 2nd DC. We live together, in a house I own and bought long before we got together.
This is the issue. As it is “my house” DP will contribute what I feel is not a lot financially. He says it’s because if we split up then he’d be left with nothing and he won’t pay my mortgage. I have never asked him to do that and I know it is fully my responsibility. He gives me £600 a month- which sounds a lot but that just about covers DS nursery fees so I can work full time. It barely touches any household bills or food. I have a senior position in my job and do earn decent money but once everything is paid, I’m not left with a lot.
Of course the logical step would be to buy somewhere together. Not an option, as he is in loads of debt, has a shit credit rating and is paying off 10 credit cards (no, I’m not exaggerating) with the APR on them creeping up. A mortgage advisor did suggest we could get somewhere together if I took some equity out of my house to pay off his debt! I refused and now he’s being awful to me. He says he can only give me 600 as he is paying back the cards, and his dad who is also owes thousands to.
He’s refusing to help me out with money while I’m on maternity leave. He’ll give me the £600 he usually does and says it’s my problem if the bills don’t get paid. I’m trying to cut back as much as I can and buy what I need before the baby comes. My DS will spend fewer days at nursery so that will help
I’m fed up of buying food and him helping himself to it. And swanning round like he fucking owns the place! He earns good money but it’s irrelevant when you are in so much debt. And it’s worth noting that out of that 600 is a £62 phone contract for him that is in my name. I’m guessing my question is, what is a reasonable and fair amount to charge the father of your children to live in your house? Am I the one being unfair? What would be a fair amount?