Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Give your head a wobble for goodness sake OP and just appreciate whatever is given. Life is too short to make a fuss and strop about trivial things.

Mother's day, Valentines Day...all commercial moneymaking nonsense anyway.

I think wait and see what the presentation of the tea is like tomorrow.Maybe there will be effort there.
Its a bit lacking in immigration if the couldn’t be arsed to make cake or biscuits or something.
Not that kids have to but it’s a good sign if they put something of themselves in it ( I mean effort and love, not hair and fingernails)

Now you know they've bought read-made sandwiches etc, why have you gone out and bought rolls? and strawberries? That is a clear signal that what dd got you wasn't good enough.

Are you expecting her to thow the shop bought sandwiches away?

I'm in my 60s, but reading this sadly transports me right back to my youth. My mum would ask for something (thinking she was clear about what she wanted e.g. a nice cup of tea), my teenage self would interpret her request (possibly more in line with my ideals, so I'd make milky tea in a mug). What I hated was the evident look of disappointment (too much milk, not in a proper cup and saucer) - after all I was trying to please my Mum, not disappoint her. And what was worse was being made to redo things her way, often with her standing by giving instructions.

I can only tell you how horrible it feels when you try to do something nice for your Mum and she shows clearly that you've got it wrong. Please don't do this.

They went to 2 shops to get you what they thought was a nice variety. They just wanted to get you something fancier than they could make by the sound of it

Not getting the answers you wanted does not equate to people "being nasty" although telling those that disagree with your opinion on M & S ready made sandwiches that " you need to work on your skills" is both impolite and petulant.

I got a happy birthday card with the birthday scribbled out and mothers day written in one year 🤣🤣

You expected the fanciest of from scratch sandwiches from a 13 year old?

If her knife skills aren't pretty good, you ready to spend Mother's Day in the ER getting her sewn up?

You're mad because you thought she should do them the way you wanted, when she got you what you said you wanted. You poor daughter. Is she one of those kids that can never win with you?

You're coming off not just unreasonable and ungrateful, but spoiled and controlling.

You’re the one who said that perhaps it’s a lucky escape that the tea wasn’t home made because of the state of the kitchen afterwards.

Pretty clear that your expectation is that OP would be cleaning it.

Gutted 🤣🤣. Turn on the news op.

I think it sounds lovely - they've gone to effort and your daughter sounds excited for you to experience it.

I said perhaps it was a lucky escape because home made isn’t always better than shop bought depending on the cook. Then I said not the mention the state of the kitchen afterwards.

It is a strange inference you are making there that OP would have to clean the kitchen on Mother’s Day. You have heavily edited what I said by leaving out the middle.

You asked if you were being ungrateful and overreacting and the general consensus is yes. But that’s not the answer you wanted, so you’re accusing people of tearing you down. You didn’t want a reality check, just for everyone to agree with you. Honestly I wish my life was one where I was ‘gutted’ about sandwiches from M&S.

You are being very unreasonable and controlling

they already have spent quite a lot if time

you are someone i would get nervous about getting presents for as you expect your own exacting ideas

think about all the people without good mother relationships or without mothers or whose mothers are far away. So many more things to worry about

I feel quite sad for your daughter

they could enjoy making them together tomorrow

What Enid Blyton fantasy world would you live in to think a 13yo and her dad would have fun making a variety of sandwiches? For a mum so controlling she 'corrects' her daughter's choices by going out to buy replacements.

Sorry, OP, I think you're out of step. M&S sandwiches are very nice and she's chosen them herself.

Personally I feel the same about any present receiving situation - you can say what you would like to receive but ultimately it's up to the giver to choose what to get you.

You do not give to receive and you cannot control others

saying that about the cucumber sound so controlling

either way its about then spending time together

At least it’s not Gregg sandwiches! Honestly, I just couldn’t get worked up over sandwiches.

Sadly she’s probably used to her mum getting moody and pissed off… a lot

Poor girl. She probably thought she'd made a good effort to give you something you wanted.

I actually missed the bit where she’s gone out and bought replacement food so her dd can rectify her ‘mistake’.
What a passive agressive act towards a young girl showing her how wrong her efforts were.

For many people M&S food is a treat. Bit like the dine in meals you can get for Valentines etc

Kindly, get over yourself OP.

😂😂
Brilliant!

Also...M&S sandwiches are the business. They are seriously good! Genuinely, they're giving you a treat.