Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Agree. If she’d been served up Asda ‘whoops’ ticketed sandwiches she might have a point but at least her dd will now know to do exactly what mother demands next time eh

What on earth did you post on AIBU for if you refuse to accept you are being U?

If I were your daughter I'd feel like shit now.

In 10 years, maybe a lot less, you're going to wonder why you don't see your daughter much.

Being so critical of her giving you what you asked for because it's not to the standards you as an adult would do and being so nasty as to show her you don't appreciate her time and effort by replacing some of the stuff is guaranteed to make her feel small and uncared for.

That doesn't deserve a celebration of mothering in my books.

You're overreacting. Yes, you do sound ungrateful.

How would you have felt if they said they were taking you for an afternoon tea @Wrongsideof50 . All they would have had to do was phone up and book.

Would you have been pleased as most of us would be or annoyed.

I don't see why you are annoyed that it doesn't mean work for them making sandwiches.

I bet the poor buggers were all out with their bag of stuff.

They should have baked the bread themselves.

"anyone can make a decent sandwich and if you can’t even do that you need to work on your skills in my opinion.."

Not as much as you need to work on your interpersonal skills.

When did mothers become so entitled that their expectations about Mother’s Day are such a font of grievances and demands.

I only hope that I live long enough to see the grown up children posting on here and asking if they should go NC.

NAMALT obvs. But too many.

A bunch of flowers and a card is quite sufficient.

I did wonder this. If Op cooks from scratch she clearly knows there was no cucumber in the fridge. Asking "but surely you bought some" when she knows that isn't the case is manipulating the grump that will happen tomorrow even further.

Unless there's a bigger drip feed (fully expecting it) "but we have two fridges and I said I would look in one ".

I agree with those who say for someone cooking from scratch ready made decent quality would be a treat.

Around the time mumsnet was founded I suspect

M&S also sell cake selections packaged for afternoon tea type occasions, bet they are lush

After making the bread tins from sheet metal.
I hope they churned the butter and made the jam.

This!

OP AIBU

MN YES

OP no I’m not and you’re all tearing me down

MN Yeah, you’re still being unreasonable

They are! I can vouch for those!

Day old sandwiches 🤢

The Op's never met my mother. Horrendous cooking generally, but sandwiches seemed to completely escape her.

You sound hard work! Pre made M&S ones will prob be nicer and fancier than home made ones

I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking @Wrongsideof50

That's generous of you, but I suspect you expected them to bake as well 🙄

What’s the back story op, no one is this unreasonable for no reason. Wanting them to phsicallu make them and going to the shop, getting you whay you want, presenting it isn’t enough, you’re actually gutted.

i can’t imagine treating my family like you are yours. I’m no martyr, but there’s no way I’d behave like this, and I assume it’s the thought that counts passed you by

Mother’s Day is not an opportunity for you to demand,

Now I want a sandwich. 🥪

And from marks
not home made!!

I don't understand when mothers day turned some mums into monsters. Why do they expect so much, I have a 13 year old and would genuinely be happy with him making me a cup of tea in bed and a hug. It's a day to thank your mum not a day for Mums to turn into a demanding petulant child. I cook from Scratch but I know 100% my son and husband would think M&S sandwiches would be more luxurious than homemade, that doesn't mean they are thoughtless

Quite right.

I see this over birthdays, Christmas, valentines etc, it appears people do behave like this. It becomes their day in their head and everyone has to run around after them and they will complain bitterly if they don’t deem it enough.

but this is a whole new low.

I know, it makes no sense to ask, does it?