Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

She asked what to do, was taken by her father to the shop to spend her parents money. All she has to do was point at things and then put them on a plate the next day. Hardly doing something nice when she didn’t even think of it. People don’t expect enough from children.

So OP cooks from scratch and the one day she asks her husband to sort home made sandwiches, you call her ungrateful?

Don’t worry, OP, you’re fine. It was clear from your OP you’d asked for home made, people are just being mardy. As the wife/mother, it’s your job to never ask for anything and be grateful for the dregs and yet make a fuss of everyone else on their special days.

🤣 low bar for men

and you left off the last bit of option 2 which was just like you get in a cafe/restaurant. So making sandwiches or getting rolls with fillings just like you’d get in a cafe/restaurant.

At any rate, regardless of how we read OP’s memory of what she said, it was just a suggestion not an order and suggestions can be adjusted to fit the time and ability of the giver.

Are you sure you’re on the right thread? The DH was not asked to sort home made sandwiches.

You know when you read threads on here and you just think “wow, are people really like this”. This is definitely one of them.

Op if you complain to your daughter and husband about this you are going to ruin a perfectly normal nice thing that they’ve done.

Most people would love some M&S sandwiches and cakes, I think you really need to see this for what it is. You are being very uptight.

ha ha nailed it

and that they could enjoy making them together tomorrow.

Would a teenager view making sandwiches as that much of a treat? I'm an adult and I don't particularly enjoy making them, it's a necessary if monotonous task. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

Oh OP, you cannot seriously believe that M and S sandwiches are not good to eat. They are really nice.
DD and DH don't share your feeling about home made food, nothing more sinister is going on. They are probably giving you the tea that they would want for themselves. Hope you enjoy it, and them, and their efforts.

She’s literally just come and confirmed she said home made filled rolls, so give it up.

But look at you changing your tune. First you say she should have specified, now you know she did, you say oh well it was only a suggestion anyway.

Make up your mind.

Christ how ungrateful! Poor kid is trying to do something nice for you! My DS is the same age as her and I would be grateful for anything he tried to do for me. If you're moody and unappreciative tomorrow she Will always remember that so for her sake just smile and thank her.

You hadn't noticed all the M&S stuff sitting in your fridge?

Why can’t the main attraction be hanging out with your kid, who has made an effort to do what you asked for, rather than whinging and pouting over things not being exactly what you wanted? Why does it matter so much you’d mention it to either of them and possibly put a dampener on the whole thing?

RTFT, the OP said ‘I would never show her or tell her that it’s not good enough and be moody tomorrow with a face like a cats arse as someone suggested! But let’s not go with that narrative as it doesn’t suit the people that like to tear others down by being nasty!’

Nice one. I’ll tell that to my DH the next time he moans about doing dinner menu and the food shop by himself. All he has to do is put stuff in a trolley and then put it on a plate the next day. No thought or effort involved, such that even if a 13yr old child did it, I’d consider it a low bar of effort.

Gutted…. Wtf 😂
You live a blessed life!

I don't get the impression anyone's making the OP cook from scratch. Sounds like it's her fixation not anyone else's. DH clearly has no horror of shop bought.

No, I am saying that what she says she said could be read more than one way, I’ve not changed my tune in the slightest. She may have intended to communicate she only wanted homemade except for the cakes and sausage rolls but obviously it wasn’t that clear and furthermore she said she “suggested” a suggestion is an idea, not an order that must be fulfilled in every detail.

Of course not, he gets to eat OP’s home cooked meals, what does he care if OP has to eat shop bought on a day she wanted a bit of effort from him. Just selfish.

@Wrongsideof50 Tell you what OP, my family and I are quite partial to a M&S sandwich (heathens that we are) so tell me where you live and I'll pop round and take them off your hands for you. Provided there are no tuna filled ones, if there is then your on your own there I'm afraid.

So you know better than OP. Wow, the delusion is strong in this one.

"...they know we cook from scratch"

This makes you sound pcontrolling, and not open to the idea that others might have different thoughts/priorities. You would do well to work on this given the age of your daughter and the life stage she is entering.

My mother deemed one of my gifts 'low effort' once, and let me know how disappointed she was in me. She had it really wrong, it really hurt, and I've never forgotten it.

@nomas … what’s your situation? Kids? A mother? What do you have planned for tomorrow?!

Home cooked meals aren’t always better than shop bought. It depends on the cook. Perhaps it’s a lucky escape her Mother’s Day tea wasn’t home made both in terms of the food and the state of the kitchen afterwards.

What does that have to do with OP?