Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

I think you were being a tad unreasonable OP.
It sounds as if you were getting everything you wished for it's just that the sandwiches were not home made.
It might have been nice to know your DCS were in the kitchen working away at them for you, but they just found a way to give you what you wanted and hopefully also to spend more time with you today?
Hopefully both you, and your family, enjoyed a very nice day!

I think you’re right, no pre-made supermarket sandwiches are good - they are old, tasteless and packed and sat in plastic for goodness knows how long. Some effort and thought in creating something special guided by her Dad would be nice not just a run round a supermarket.

Wow...they probably thought m and s was a treat. I would.

Wouldn’t bother me at all!

My 17 year old bought flowers yesterday which he hid in the garage overnight and gave to me before I drove him to football at 7am. 15 year old signed the card but was still in bed. 8 year old bought me a chocolate orange (with my husband) and made a card at art club.

I am totally not into big presents or fuss but I have an aversion to old sandwiches and take aways. I have made it clear there are to be no sandwich platters at my funeral. The idea of half soggy bits of bread with margarine not butter made 3 days ago in a factory by peopke wearing hairnets, then left out at the wake in a plastic tray for the edges to go crusty and the mayo to go jelly-like gives me the willies.

If they are just sandwiches, why are you complaning so much then?

If you do t want opinions what ask .
Another I e who asks AIBU then gets pissy when alot of ppl think they are .

Well your dd won’t be buying M&S sandwiches next year. In fact I don’t think it will be long before she will be doing anything for you ever again.

Your post asks, ‘lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?” Over 90 % of respondents think you are being ungrateful. Your daughter will have put real love into choosing those sandwiches and every one of your posts reflects no acknowledgment of that. If you don’t want to know then don’t ask.

I disagree. I bought a steak and caramelised onion chutney one from Waitrose the other day and it was really, really nice.

Ungrateful

M&S has great food.

Absolutely. I just got phone calls from my kids ( although I’ve been told to expect a delivery in a day or two).
You are being childish and ungrateful.

You haven’t tasted my cooking or seen my sandwich making skills

You would be begging for a petrol station sandwich once you have seen what I make.

Bloomin’ heck. I told DDs I’d be delighted with a bunch of tulips and a couple of bars of Tony’s Chocoloney. That’s what I’ve got. Great.
Why all the micromanaging and high expectations?

The entitlement is reflected in the “lots of ladies out to tear me down” comment. You asked AIBU? People answered, a little like your DD and DH, and because it’s not the answer/approach that you want everyone is out to get you. Do you behave like this in other areas of life?

I thought about this post last night and why I’d be upset like you but others seemed not to be. I think it’s because I like you make everything from scratch, it’s my love language and I’d feel if they bought ready made sandwiches I’d feel insulted too as I’d feel they couldn’t bothered for one day making something for me and therefore feel like they’re not showing their love and also I hate ready made sandwiches. 😩 but if their love language is different maybe for spending time with you maybe DH though less time making sandwiches was a plus point ( or he’s lazy or just likes their sandwiches 😂) I’ve learnt over the years though that my expectations are not inline with others and that if I want something I either make it very clear what I want and why or just go with the flow and do my own thing. Birthdays now I tell everyone I’m working but actually take a days holiday and do what I want including a nice lunch by myself. That’s. My birthday treat tomyself, peace and no disappointments.

I'm not even reading all these pages of replies before saying if I were your daughter you would get fuck all next year for being so ungrateful.

Hear hear.

Lower your expectations and then lower them some more. Preferably don’t have any as they only serve to disappoint when something is not as you’d planned in your mind. In my opinion, you asked them for a sandwich lunch and their interpretation of that is more than ok. Mother’s Day is a chance to show they love and care about you, not for you to set requests with conditions. Maybe they felt that as you normally prepare everything from scratch this would be more of a treat. If it makes you feel any better, my teenage boys didn’t get me anything. I’m ok with that though, as I’ve spent time with them today and for me that is enough. IMO expectations don’t serve us in parenting.

Sandwiches - famously REALLY great to eat the day after they're prepared.

My thoughts exactly. Every year on MN we have thread after thread in which women have wound themselves up into disappointment for one bloody day.

Your bar is WAAAAAY to high. What they did was effort and id have been delighted 💞

There are wonen with children sick in hospital who won’t get to celebrate with their mums today in a meaningful way. What these women wouldn’t give to have a sandwich at home with them.,. Cop yourself on and count your blessings

Shop bought sandwiches are crap, I don't think I could even eat one, I make a MUCH better sandwich than M&S!

I'd be as disappointed as if I asked for a burger and was given McDonalds!