Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

You're wrong.

If you had been brought by a toxic, self-absorbed mother you would recognise the signs in OP's post, which could easily have been written by my mother.

It's highly unlikely OP saves her toxic behaviour for one day a year.

Yes it would be terrible if people sniped and insulted strangers. Glad your response doesn't do that....

You sound awful. M&S sandwiches cut into triangles sound perfect. I hope your poor DD is OK.

She probably thought M&S sandwiches would be a treat!

Are you a pampered princess?

Ungrateful. A 13 year old would have thought it was fancier. I actually can’t believe what I’ve just read.

My DS 18 does this if he's making a family buffet lunch, I'm not sure what the problem is?

I would be delighted with anything. I got 2 cards and 2 text messages from 4 lovely kids and I'm a single mum, very happy with that. Did expect more from the dog tho, got nothing! My dd father dropped by, saw the cards and said 'my mum's dead' and went in.....

That's exactly what I would do actually. I'm not pissing about making boring sandwiches when I can buy three or four pre packed of various weird and wonderful contents and slice them into fancy triangles.

I don't really understand all these dramatics over a commercialised day of appreciation.

My daughter went to the shop for something the other day and came home with some daffodils for me because she remembered me saying for all I'm not bothered about flowers I do like a bunch of a daffs - show of appreciation and love can be whenever.

If all I had to worry about in life was where my sandwiches were bought then I would count myself lucky. Get a grip, your daughter did something nice for you.

The more I read of this bollox on here, I’m so glad I don’t actually give a damn about birthdays, Valentines or Mothers Day. My kids and husband love me and I feel blessed. My treat today was jelly babies and I’m delighted.

The Sisterhood can be fickle when there isn’t a man to blame!

It would drive me mad. Waste of money. Shop bought sandwiches are nothing like homemade. And they’re very expensive.

Yes but they obviously didn't want to make sandwiches, wouldn't have enjoyed making them, that's why they bought them.

they know we cook from scratch

Christ, it’s amazing how one short phrase can reveal so much about a family dynamic.

You sound so uptight and overbearing.

I bet your DH and your daughter immediately order a Domino’s and hide the boxes from you every time you go out.

I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it. If the tea is nicely presented then I’d be happy. Maybe they didn’t realise how much home made sandwiches meant to you?

YABVVVU

Dare I ask… what did your children do for Mother’s Day @BettyBoh ?

I can sympathise with you being a bit disappointed but I would not take it out on your family. In their minds they have fulfilled the brief according to their own interpretation and in good faith. I hope you’ve had a nice day.

enjoy your sarnies- my daughter is 31, posted my present & card last Saturday ( allegedly- she’s notorious for wrongly addressing mail) It still hasn’t arrived! I got a quick phone call from her yesterday, a text this morning and that’s my Mother’s Day 🙄 I feel like telling her not to bother ever again 🫢

Agree. Don't be the mum who raises a child to feel their efforts aren't good enough. There's enough examples on here of what that feels like and how it stretches into adulthood and sours the relationship. If they'd done nothing, you'd have a point. They just made a decision you personally didn't agree with, but that a lot of people would have been perfectly happy with. M&S sandwiches are very nice.

My son bought me a shop bought cake. I was delighted. I honestly wonder about the dynamics of some families, so much unnecessary angst and conflict.

I've never had an m&s sandwich, were they nice? They always look nice, and well filled.

I'd be happy with this tbh. Nobody in my autistic household has mentioned mothers day to me 🤣 youngest gave me my present when it arrived in the post, and eldest told me what he'd bought but hasn't given it to me. I know they love me, I don't need a lot of fuss.

I bought ready made M&S sandwiches for our afternoon tea today. It was the best way to get a selection of sandwiches without loads of leftover fillings.

Honestly, you need to think about how your behaviour maybe affecting your daughter.