Page 5 | DG annoyed about pregnancy worries raised while he was gaming

GrubbyHouse1 · 2026-03-14T12:31:48+00:00

(I meant DH in title. Can't work out how to edit title) My husband plays video games to relax. Quite a fair bit to be honest. He often says talk to him when he's finished playing which i guess is reasonable as if Im watching a film or something I might feel irritated if he started chatting loads to me about things But I realised my period is late. We already have two young kids. Im 40. And this last week I've been feeling v emotional - like tearful randomly. I was just tidying up (sat morning) and said to him (as he was gaming - some gun game) and I said "God you know what the last time I felt so randomly tearful during the day was when I was pregnant with DS2" And he took off his headphones and said "FFS. You've given me anxiety now. FFS. God. I cant even focus on the game now you've said that. Could you not keep comments like to yoruseld until I've done with the game" And honestly I felt my last iota of respect for him dry up in a second But AIBU? Or a gaming snob? Its his hobby so maybe I shouldn't be thinking out loud to him. I said I wanted to share my thoughts and maybe some support would be nice. He said "yeah well I've got my own feelinsh and im much more likely to respond better if you wait till im done gaming" ??

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/03/2026 00:02

rosyvalentine · 16/03/2026 23:54

YANBU. I can’t stand men (or children for that matter) gaming. Deeply unattractive.

I agree - such an attraction killer

Ivyy · 17/03/2026 01:48

JaneBoleyn · 14/03/2026 13:36

A Prince among men indeed.

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Hedgehogbrown · 17/03/2026 02:40

Why are you even asking us? Do you not know the answer?

Kettless · 17/03/2026 02:58

He sounds utterly pathetic and your children can see it.
His comparisons as to how much worse he could be is moronic.
Sorry OP but your bar is really low and it is negatively affecting your children.

Malasana · 17/03/2026 05:40

Regarding the gaming - it’s his hobby. Theres nothing wrong with it. Just like you’d be annoyed if he came disturbing you when watching a film. As long as he pulls his weight with the kids and chores, I think it’s fine.
That said, his reaction was childish.
Get yourself a test and find out for sure.

Malasana · 17/03/2026 05:43

SpidersAreShitheads · 16/03/2026 19:53

I think whether he pulls his weight or not is a different issue to him gaming.

I'm not a gamer myself but I have other hobbies in the home. I'd be quite irritated if my partner just assumed they could interrupt me when I was smack bang in the middle of something whenever they felt like it, just because I happen to do my hobby in the house.

It's really strange the amount of vitriol that's aimed towards gaming. I don't see the same attitude towards other hobbies like crochet, knitting, or yoga, all of which might also be done in the home. And I'm saying this as someone who doesn't ever game and has no interest in it at all.

If my partner was late occasionally to dinner, I wouldn't have a problem. If it's happening every time/frequently, then that's very different. While it's good to model the right behaviour for children, sometimes there are exceptions to the rules for grownups. Children do need to learn this. I might sit in bed and scroll on my phone until midnight; it doesn't mean my child can do the same!

I think the way to tackle it OP would have been to say to your DH that you want to talk to him about something serious and to let you know when he's free to talk. I don't think launching into a pretty heavyweight conversation while he's in the middle of playing is fair. You acknowledge yourself that you don't like him gaming, and I think that's colouring your response.

As for the rest of it, only you know if he's doing the fair share of the household chores and parenting. You both need equal time for hobbies and relaxing, whatever it is that you both prefer to do.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Hormones - pregnancy or perimenopausal - are an absolute pig to deal with!

The most measured and sensible response.

Shoxfordian · 17/03/2026 06:05

The gaming isn't the issue, its the disrespectful way he talks to you and that he doesn't prioritise you

lxn889121 · 17/03/2026 06:06

Nothing wrong with gaming... it is just as valid as any other hobby (quite amusing to see such an anti-gaming vibe on the first few pages. I imagine that is because most of the posters here are older and still have outdated attitudes to gaming. I work at a uni with 18-22 year old students, and so many of the female students game now - it isn't just a "sad boys" hobby any more.

The issues is entirely how a hobby is treated. It doesn't matter if it was gaming ,golf, fishing, movies, or anything - he put his hobby above your issue.

if it was a trivial issue then yes, he would be justified. No one likes to be interrupted, but obviously this isn't, which is the issue here.

Busybeemumm · 17/03/2026 07:07

This is so unattractive and I feel sorry for your kids. What kind of example is he setting?! Sadly all this tech especially smart phones and gaming has made our lives worse. I would think about your future and if you really want a man child as your partner.

CautiousLurker2 · 17/03/2026 07:23

TBH I think @GrubbyHouse1 your first step is to do a test to rule it in or out and progress from there.

Re DH, two issues: 1) you say he is nearly 50 so I can understand the brain fart when being told there may be another child on the way even if he handled it badly. If you are not pregnant, you both need to discuss pregnancy prevention with some urgency.

And b) the gaming thing. My YA kids game. It effs me off.

However, the design of many games now mean that if you ‘quit’ before the game is over, you lose a life and any progress in the game is reversed so hours of game play is negated and any skins/weapons/tools you have earned are lost. It also means your ranking is impacted and can, where it is a team game, mean other people are penalised. It is a cynical and nasty ploy to force extended game play (ie create addiction) and gets my goat.

However, what I have agreed with my kids is that dinner is served at x time as a rule and that if this is going to change they get an hour or so’s notice. I also hate this, but it means they HAVE to be at the table when called - so they manage their game play to ensure they do not start new rounds/quests in the period leading up to supper. If they play on and do not arrive on time, they do not get fed.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 17/03/2026 07:30

Myskyscolour · 14/03/2026 14:24

Why??
My DH is a gamer and an amazing husband and dad.
When I hear my friends complain about their OH spending hours at the pub after work / disappearing at the weekend to play golf or cycle / monopolising the TV to watch sports or coming back drunk when going to watch at the stadium… I’m glad mine has a hobby that is cheap, he can do at home, doesn’t involve alcohol, no risk of injury, can be scheduled around family life, etc.

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But her husband isnt scheduling gaming around family life because he is missing meals. That were cooked for him. Op, how much cooking does he do? Would he be accommodating of you not coming to the dinner table when he cooks?

Also, op when he said he could be out drinking in the pub all night, remind him that isnt a hobby. Does he actually do any sports / exercise?

God. I cant even focus on the game now you've said that.
And he should not have wanted to.

Laurmolonlabe · 17/03/2026 08:04

Why would gaming take priority over a life changing event- I would guess it's because it's a life changing event happening to you and he will be gaming rather than pitching in when the workload increases.
You need to tell him how inappropriate this is and discuss how things are going to change- if things are not going to change you may need to look at divorce as an option- you will be doing all the work anyway, if he helps as you imply he does then he needs help for his addiction to gaming, because it is threatening to blow up his life.

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 17/03/2026 09:26

GrubbyHouse1 · 14/03/2026 13:33

He doesnt game all day and he's fairly attentive with kids. But he does run off to play games when he can. A few times recently I've been sat waiting at the dinner table with the kids and hes not joined us until 10 mins after I've said "dinner". And last week my DS1 got down feom the table and said "im not sitting at the table. Daddy's not" and I realised how much trouble we are in here! But he does do his bit round the house mostly. He just says its his hobby saying "i could be down the pub but im staying home and just doing a bit of gaming"

He might as well be down the pub though as he is there but not present.
My DH games upstairs on Saturday afternoon but he wouldn't if I said I needed him to stay downstairs with our DS. I still find it annoying though as I feel like he's not really present either.
His reaction to you was totally uncalled for and I'd be fuming ( I woke my DH up about 4 I clock in the morning because I was crying so much when I found out I was pregnant with DS and he was much kinder than your DH). Have you done a test yet?
Regardless of the result if you've lost respect for your DP is there much future for your relationship?

PolitePeachStork · 17/03/2026 11:19

Dear OP,
I am sorry that your DH reacted in this way. What did he think could be a possible
outcome to being intimate?

Great - he has a hobby. Good for him(!)
I hope you also have opportunities to explore a hobbies of your own. 🙂

The comment re: “being down the pub” didn’t sit well with me either. It conveys an attitude of: “look how grateful you should be that I am at home, being a (somewhat?) present parent and partner. What a grown-up I’m being…” it also sounded straight out of the 80s or something!
He sounded like a twit.

OP, I hope you get the result you’re hoping for. 🙏

Wineofthemonth · 17/03/2026 15:01

I'm a gamers wife and if my husband had spoken to me like that I would have switched off the power to the PS (I have done this). It is about respect, you where talking about something serious not minor. I would not interrupt an important game for just chit chat, but it is just a game.

LeaderBee · 17/03/2026 15:06

A bit annoying for him if it was just any random comment but worried about being pregnant and he should have made time to listen to you.

CommandStrip · 17/03/2026 15:52

Did you test, OP? (Obv not the point of the thread.)

I think sometimes it can be difficult to switch between modes- if you're in the middle of a game (or your favourite TV show or doing the ironing or whatever) and someone hits you with a huge new subject, it can take a few moments to get your head together to respond appropriately. Obviously it would have been much better if he'd put it the other way- asked you to give him a moment to gather his thoughts before responding rather than put it in terms of not being able to focus on the game. Is he a reasonable communicator generally? Any ND? (Sorry to ask- I am ND myself and know that being ND doesn't mean someone behaves like this- but it can be a factor in communication.)

Mere1 · 17/03/2026 17:04

GrubbyHouse1 · 14/03/2026 13:33

He doesnt game all day and he's fairly attentive with kids. But he does run off to play games when he can. A few times recently I've been sat waiting at the dinner table with the kids and hes not joined us until 10 mins after I've said "dinner". And last week my DS1 got down feom the table and said "im not sitting at the table. Daddy's not" and I realised how much trouble we are in here! But he does do his bit round the house mostly. He just says its his hobby saying "i could be down the pub but im staying home and just doing a bit of gaming"

And that is good?!

Abd80 · 17/03/2026 17:16

Omg this is so so rude !
I would be absolutely outraged also OP

Coffeeandbooks88 · 17/03/2026 17:25

Guess we aren't finding out the result of the test then.

Original poster

GrubbyHouse1 · 17/03/2026 19:09

I still haven't tested. I will do. Tomorrow.

He says gaming helps his mental health. I agree that it should be like another hobby...but it isnt. Its so absorbing. And also you have to wait until end of level etc. I hate it. I feel like a right muggins waiting for him to come to table or answer a simple question. He probs just wants time to himself

Problem is the attraction is really going. I didny really want to have sex with him in the 1st place!

OP posts:

Knackered41 · 17/03/2026 21:40

There are an awful lot of people down on gaming. God help if the OPs children grew up and liked gaming. Yes, we all hear about the negatives, such as addiction but there are also a lot of positives, both socially and developmentally.

The manner in which the OP raised the subject was poor. If her partner was playing an online shooting game (Call of Duty/Battlefield/Fortnite etc), then there is no ‘pause’ option. Just let him finish, what’s another 4/5 minutes?

OPs issue with not liking gaming is HER issue, not her partners. There always needs to be a base level of respect in any relationship no matter what you think of his/her hobbies. If OP actually asks to chat to address the issue (instead of dropping a bullshit comment) and he was a twat at that point, then she’s entirely justified.

Also, what’s going on with all the time police?
Having a go at people because they don’t get to the dinner table at the specific time you say is kind of dictatorial. She clearly doesn’t respect his time or hobbies, why should he respect some arbitrary time limit. Respect goes both ways.

Pinkissmart · 17/03/2026 23:15

Gaming isn’t a hobby, it’s a pastime. Imagine if your ‘hobby ‘ was watching tv or reading a book, and everyone had to wait for dinner until you were done. And then if anyone complains you could shout and say that at least you’re not at the mall shopping the whole time.

His behaviour is awful

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 17/03/2026 23:25

Knackered41 · 17/03/2026 21:40

There are an awful lot of people down on gaming. God help if the OPs children grew up and liked gaming. Yes, we all hear about the negatives, such as addiction but there are also a lot of positives, both socially and developmentally.

The manner in which the OP raised the subject was poor. If her partner was playing an online shooting game (Call of Duty/Battlefield/Fortnite etc), then there is no ‘pause’ option. Just let him finish, what’s another 4/5 minutes?

OPs issue with not liking gaming is HER issue, not her partners. There always needs to be a base level of respect in any relationship no matter what you think of his/her hobbies. If OP actually asks to chat to address the issue (instead of dropping a bullshit comment) and he was a twat at that point, then she’s entirely justified.

Also, what’s going on with all the time police?
Having a go at people because they don’t get to the dinner table at the specific time you say is kind of dictatorial. She clearly doesn’t respect his time or hobbies, why should he respect some arbitrary time limit. Respect goes both ways.

An arbitrary time limit? You mean when dinner is ready?

BudgetBuster · 18/03/2026 10:54

Knackered41 · 17/03/2026 21:40

There are an awful lot of people down on gaming. God help if the OPs children grew up and liked gaming. Yes, we all hear about the negatives, such as addiction but there are also a lot of positives, both socially and developmentally.

The manner in which the OP raised the subject was poor. If her partner was playing an online shooting game (Call of Duty/Battlefield/Fortnite etc), then there is no ‘pause’ option. Just let him finish, what’s another 4/5 minutes?

OPs issue with not liking gaming is HER issue, not her partners. There always needs to be a base level of respect in any relationship no matter what you think of his/her hobbies. If OP actually asks to chat to address the issue (instead of dropping a bullshit comment) and he was a twat at that point, then she’s entirely justified.

Also, what’s going on with all the time police?
Having a go at people because they don’t get to the dinner table at the specific time you say is kind of dictatorial. She clearly doesn’t respect his time or hobbies, why should he respect some arbitrary time limit. Respect goes both ways.

I'm not down on gaming. My DH (almost 40) is a gamer. But it doesn't get in the way of family life.

The OPs husband plays games whilst she's doing the cooking, cleaning, dealing with the existing kids. There's a time and a place for hobbies or past-times.