Funeral directors share our private road - AIBU about what I saw yesterday?

[Habbyhadno]

This is such a random post but…

I live at the top of a private road just off a main road in a small town. At the main road end we have a funeral directors that faces the street, the building is tiny and it’s a branch of another directors in a neighbouring town where the directors is very much a shop front.

I thought this one would be the same, but they do seem to store bodies in there. We’ve had a fair few hearses park on our road as we turn into it (at the side of the shop), I literally have to squeeze my car up the road as obviously hearses take up a lot of space and the road isn’t wide at all, it’s a bit of an inconvenience but whatever.

However, last night me and my three kids 6,8 and 12 were heading out and we were all walking down the road and I spy a private ambulance with the back door open and clearly two bodies were in black bags in the back of the van.

There were two people out there about to start manoeuvring the bodies into the building, but I’m a bit icked out by it all, I don’t really think the kids need to see that and I felt a bit weird about seeing it (there’s not any other way we could have gone as the road is small and there was no getting away from it).

Do you think I should pop in and speak to them about being aware of who is around when they are unloading bodies or AIBU? I just feel like they could make the operation a bit more concealed rather than hoiking them out literally in the street, it seems a bit disrespectful and it’s been playing on my mind. What do I do?

If the business was there before OP she can’t do fuck all hth cos they’ll have followed all criteria from the council and then some

Yes there have been some crap funeral businesses in the media, they don't seem to have any particular rules or regulations or if they do who checks them, do we have funeral directors auditors who could perhaps advise that screens are used in these situations.

A Pp asking what's the difference between coffins and bags well its obviously the optics isn't it. If there's no difference let's do away with coffins completely and just have the outline of bodies entirely visible in lovely plastic zip up bags.

Or, let's show some respect to our dead and allow some privacy and dignity

Why? Your loved one's dead body isn't shameful. You can't see the body. I assume they are handling them with respect. Bodies need to be moved.

Wait till no-one is around before moving bodies? Why? So you can pretend death doesn't exist? Sanitise the reality of life? Bodies are probably more exposed when being moved from the place of death. No back alleys and fences when people are carried from a house to the funeral directors car to be taken to the place they will be prepared. If they go to the coroner they have to be moved from a home or other place as well. It would be very strange to only move bodies around in the wee small hours when they turn up at all times of day.

Under the cover of darkness?

You realise bodies are driven around in hursts with huge windows literally designed to display the coffin?

People are so inconsiderate, dying between the hours of 7am and 10pm when other people might be around!! The cheek.

You can do this if you want, or you can pay ££££ for a coffin if you want?

its your choice.

Given that you have only once, seen a private ambulance with bags, did it not occur to you that this is a once off for whatever reasons there may be? You’re too busy being highly offended by body “shapes” in a bag.

The coffin comes later, when you're planning the funeral. When a body is moved, you haven't normally got to the stage you're even thinking about coffins yet.

I think everyone wants to think their loved ones deceased body is treated with discretion and dignity.
I don't like the idea of hoiking body bags as much as the next person but how else to get them on the trolley?
There was a trolley?

😆
I know! I myself plan to only die and be moved between midnight and 5am. I mean, have some consideration!

How were the funeral directors acting irresponsibly or disrespectfully? The bodies were in bags and being moved from the van to the building. It isn't as if the bodies were out in the open and visible for all to see or being handled roughly or inappropriately.

No one enjoys being reminded of the reality of death but unfortunately it's part of life and it doesn't mean anyone is being irresponsible.

At our funerals everyone turns up to watch the body be taken from the house before the actual funeral in the chapel, I can only imagine the reactions of some here! Better tell them we need to cancel that whole practice, it’s disrespectful if anyone actually knows someone has even died.

There was no hoiking!!

They aren't on a high street first of all. Its a private road. Bodies need to be transported in a timely manner, or would you prefer grandma to leak all over the street?

Funeral directors are completely unregulated. Anyone can set up as an undertaker. Absolutely no checks or compulsory training. Other than the offence of 'preventing a lawful burial', there are almost no laws around dead bodies (or how they're handled or where they're kept). There was a report to government last year (Jonathan Michael report) on this problem of an entirely unregulated industry. Last discussed in Parliament on 9th March: general agreement that this needs to be sorted. hansard.parliament.uk/commons/2026-03-09/debates/15C8F4F7-BA6C-4A67-AB42-A67FF742393D/FuneralDirectorsRegulation

Not just disrespectful, the op finds it icky and distasteful.

Perhaps people should just stop with this whole dying thing, it's gross and inconvenient to us living people going about our day.

That's so alive-ist of you! I might have to report this post.

It’s disrespectful of FD to handle bodies from the street - if the premises aren’t suitable they should move elsewhere.

Is it also disrespectful to drive them around in coffins in big cars with clear windows so everyone can see them? Horrors.

They're not handling them from the street, they're handling them from a back entry down a private alley like street. And dead bodies have to be taken from actual public and accessible streets, since that's where homes tend to be. Oh no, it's like we can't hide from reality.

What, in a body bag? If not why not?

“Sighs” it can be light at 5am in the summer, please ensure you die during winter months with that attitude!

Exactly. Funeral directors perhaps need to invest some of their extortionate fees in more appropriate premises complete with a private body transfer area.

Sorry, I didn't think of that. Of course, you're right. I think I'll limit my dying to midnight - 2am. Should be safe that way.

I wondered how long it would take……put a complaint in to the council…….about what exactly?

I know, I was responding to the PP saying let’s do away with coffins altogether, to which I answered she could if she wanted too.