Funeral directors share our private road - AIBU about what I saw yesterday?

[Habbyhadno]

This is such a random post but…

I live at the top of a private road just off a main road in a small town. At the main road end we have a funeral directors that faces the street, the building is tiny and it’s a branch of another directors in a neighbouring town where the directors is very much a shop front.

I thought this one would be the same, but they do seem to store bodies in there. We’ve had a fair few hearses park on our road as we turn into it (at the side of the shop), I literally have to squeeze my car up the road as obviously hearses take up a lot of space and the road isn’t wide at all, it’s a bit of an inconvenience but whatever.

However, last night me and my three kids 6,8 and 12 were heading out and we were all walking down the road and I spy a private ambulance with the back door open and clearly two bodies were in black bags in the back of the van.

There were two people out there about to start manoeuvring the bodies into the building, but I’m a bit icked out by it all, I don’t really think the kids need to see that and I felt a bit weird about seeing it (there’s not any other way we could have gone as the road is small and there was no getting away from it).

Do you think I should pop in and speak to them about being aware of who is around when they are unloading bodies or AIBU? I just feel like they could make the operation a bit more concealed rather than hoiking them out literally in the street, it seems a bit disrespectful and it’s been playing on my mind. What do I do?

YANBU and I am surprised by the results. I wouldn't want to see this either! You shouldn't be seeing this in the street!

How long have you lived there? Has it happened before? I would monitor it and see how things go. If it carries on you may have to move.

Some of you Brits are so weird about death.

You should have appropriate facilities to run such a business of course!

I thought this, I wouldn't want to see this, especially often and perhaps not knowing when you could come across them, it doesn't feel very respectful of the funeral home to go through the front door, I have some near me and theres a special garage that they drive into.

Me too.

Part of life, every body will be transported in a body bag to the undertaker. They won't jump out and come after you.

My neighbour was wheeled half way along the street in a body bag in broad daylight as the Private Ambulance couldn't get parked anywhere near the house.

Your kids won't notice unless you create a drama out of it.

I think if that was my much loved relative I would want them to have as much privacy as possible. I went out with my dad when they took him away in a bag and it’s not the nicest thing to see… needs must I suppose. Dignity has to be the most important thing and I’m certain most places have a private entrance that’s not overlooked for this.

But that’s where the business is, and it’s obviously been approved that they can run the business out of those premises… so in these exact circumstances, what do you propose they do instead of what they’re doing?

How else are the funeral directors supposed to get the bodies into the building other than unloading them?

In the west death is very shielded from view but it's part of life. In some cultures people are much more open and I think it is healthier.

Now you’ve seen this you know you’ll keep seeing it… is there no other way through or to your house?

it doesn’t surprise me as most funeral directors store bodies. My sister lives in a town where a funeral directors has been bought and is being turned into a restaurant. Kid you not.., and I know they had a lot of bodies in there!

I think you are being unreasonable to expect a funeral director business to do anything other than carry out said business tbh. Presumably it was there when you chose to move in?

It may have been there many years, pre dating a lot of regulations & it's on a private road not 'the highway'

@Habbyhadno oh thank god that was the issue. I was worried it was going to be FAR worse & I kept avoiding your thread, but curiosity overwhelmed my sensible self protection 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

we all die, as sad as it is to see, I wouldn't have an issue seeing bodies in body bags going into a FD, or if that was my loved one I wouldn't see it as disrespectful.💁🏻‍♀️

You’re being ridiculous.

What difference does it make that they had bodies there? There isn’t going to be an ‘essence’ of dead body that’s going to contaminate the food cooked in the restaurant. As long as all the bodies have been removed by the time it becomes a restaurant then I can’t really see what the problem is!

Oh for goodness sake.

They get them on the trolley and into the building fairly quickly.

Probably best to have some respect instead of standing there gawping.

You can’t, many can… especially if it was the place they may have last visited their own loved ones.

Well then I assume those people wouldn’t choose to eat at that restaurant?
Are you saying that somewhere that has had a dead body in should never be used to serve food?

And they've bought a new refrigerator...

But you couldn’t see any bodies.

Exactly. If their home doesn't have a drive then they would have been put into the private ambulance in a body bag in the street, although I'm sure the funeral directors would try to be discreet.

When my father died at home the funeral directors reversed their ambulance into the drive to be discreet as they could.

I was thinking the same!

I definitely remember a similar or identical thread before, perhaps it's a relatively common problem if funeral directors don't have anywhere to privately unload bodies. I guess this is a private road and that's a consequence of sharing a private road with an undertaker- I would talk to the children about it openly then, and discuss what's happening and what goes on there, as I think you don't have much choice being so nearby it and sharing the private road. It's a bit like living overlooking an actively used graveyard, it's best to discuss it rather than hope they don't notice.

Unloading the deceased where the public can ogle, is far from respectful.

Had my late husband's body been treated that way, I'd have been horrified. I have never come across a funeral director that unloaded bodies on a public road.

They’re in body bags. No one can see the body.

Yanbu
I always assumed bodies would be driven into a storage area, then doors locked and then unloaded, so all completely discrete and private.