Funeral directors share our private road - AIBU about what I saw yesterday?

[Habbyhadno]

This is such a random post but…

I live at the top of a private road just off a main road in a small town. At the main road end we have a funeral directors that faces the street, the building is tiny and it’s a branch of another directors in a neighbouring town where the directors is very much a shop front.

I thought this one would be the same, but they do seem to store bodies in there. We’ve had a fair few hearses park on our road as we turn into it (at the side of the shop), I literally have to squeeze my car up the road as obviously hearses take up a lot of space and the road isn’t wide at all, it’s a bit of an inconvenience but whatever.

However, last night me and my three kids 6,8 and 12 were heading out and we were all walking down the road and I spy a private ambulance with the back door open and clearly two bodies were in black bags in the back of the van.

There were two people out there about to start manoeuvring the bodies into the building, but I’m a bit icked out by it all, I don’t really think the kids need to see that and I felt a bit weird about seeing it (there’s not any other way we could have gone as the road is small and there was no getting away from it).

Do you think I should pop in and speak to them about being aware of who is around when they are unloading bodies or AIBU? I just feel like they could make the operation a bit more concealed rather than hoiking them out literally in the street, it seems a bit disrespectful and it’s been playing on my mind. What do I do?

Body bags do not resemble bin bags.

Metal coffins?! These are human being not someone’s lunch. Metal coffin indeed
Who would pay for these?
And what about when it’s very hot. Can you imagine what a heatwave would do to a dead body inside a metal coffin!

When I've seen the bagged bodies being moved, I couldn't have told you if the bags contained rolls of carpet or bodies, they're just a long thin shape.

Them being taken into the funeral directors was a big clue though, and carpets aren't usually delivered by private ambulances.

Dead bodies are leaky. They need to be bagged. Sorry to put it so bluntly.

My little one was carried out in a body bag before we brought them home in their casket after medical examination and formalities. I was advised by the police not to observe the process. I took that advice as I figure they have more experience with how that goes.

Patronising much?
We will just have to agree to disagree !

I wouldn't like this at all. Get in touch with your local Council and see what planning permission they have for this. Most funeral dirdctors seem to be pretty discreet when it comes to moving bodies to be fair. If this one isn't then they should be called out.

ridiculous and precious much?

I think you’ll see a few posters have my thought process!

You tell your children that funeral directors look after dead people. You normalise it for them and stop being so precious.

Metal coffins are used in hospitals, as one means of transporting the remains of a deceased person.
I think we will have to agree to disagree, as is the nature of AIBU.

🤣

Or the rather hideous “unalive”

Much better!

There was a big cemetery at the bottom of my road when I lived in Croydon. It was lovely, very peaceful, full of mature trees, birds and squirrels.

It was also a handy shortcut to the pub during the hours it was open.

No they’re not apart from during Covid.

So only one person lives opposite /near an undertaker in the whole country who'd have thought it ?😀
I.e My neighbour is parking outside my house - why can't people be more imaginative on that one? There is about 70 million people in Britain, things happen in more than one place. Then add in the rest of the world, that's potentially 100's of 1000's of undertaker threads and parking for a start that could find their way onto MN.

Nobody asked anything of the sort. You volunteered that as some sort of gotcha in response to the opinion that there was little difference between a body bag and a coffin in terms of dignity.

It's not something I'd like to see but you live near a funeral parlour. They can't magical teleport the bodies in and out.
Unfortunately it's a sad fact of life and it's a good opportunity to speak about these events with children.

Agreed, I’m sceptical about the claim of head and feet being obvious

The bags are more likely what my DH used to have in the army, long black issued holdalls. Certainly not bin bags

Meh its part of life - I am irish though and we have a much more open view on death. We are waiting for a family member to die. Wake and funeral have been planned. The children are excited for the party and helped pick out the soon to be dead persons funeral clothes

However I did work beside a maternity hospital and would see the baby coffins/cold cots coming out. I did find that upsetting especially when pregnant but that was my emotional state.

Ridiculous and precious my arse!
I really do not care if others agree with you, this is my opinion, and this is AIBU where people give options, you can agree or disagree as much as you like.

Well they do in the hospital I work in

Which I’m doing! But you seem affronted by that?

Really…. 🤔

According to an ex-soldier of my acquaintance, they're also used when the body isn't intact.

I bet they are wheeled around. Would be pretty heavy to carry.

Do you think funeral homes need planning permission to transport bodies in and out of the home? 🤣

Am I being thick - what is wrong with what the funeral home are doing?!

Id love someone to answer how they expect bodies to be taken in and out of funeral homes if they think the way OP has described is unacceptable .

I think they should have paused and been more discreet whilst you and your DC were in car/turning . If its a quiet road (with a dead end!) that should be possible .
I would think that funeral directors really should have a private yard for this kind of thing.
Body bags are different to coffins imo as you can kinda see shape of body inside.
Of course death is part of life and funeral directors do an important job but I think they could have paused particularly as you had DC in the car. No harm in having a quiet word with the funeral directors , acknowledging they are doing an important job but asking them to be a bit more mindful.
When my father died at home funeral directors collected him and he was transported across our busy street in a body bag. Police stopped the cars for them . There was no alternative. Unfortunately some passerbys filmed and took photos.