Funeral directors share our private road - AIBU about what I saw yesterday?

[Habbyhadno]

This is such a random post but…

I live at the top of a private road just off a main road in a small town. At the main road end we have a funeral directors that faces the street, the building is tiny and it’s a branch of another directors in a neighbouring town where the directors is very much a shop front.

I thought this one would be the same, but they do seem to store bodies in there. We’ve had a fair few hearses park on our road as we turn into it (at the side of the shop), I literally have to squeeze my car up the road as obviously hearses take up a lot of space and the road isn’t wide at all, it’s a bit of an inconvenience but whatever.

However, last night me and my three kids 6,8 and 12 were heading out and we were all walking down the road and I spy a private ambulance with the back door open and clearly two bodies were in black bags in the back of the van.

There were two people out there about to start manoeuvring the bodies into the building, but I’m a bit icked out by it all, I don’t really think the kids need to see that and I felt a bit weird about seeing it (there’s not any other way we could have gone as the road is small and there was no getting away from it).

Do you think I should pop in and speak to them about being aware of who is around when they are unloading bodies or AIBU? I just feel like they could make the operation a bit more concealed rather than hoiking them out literally in the street, it seems a bit disrespectful and it’s been playing on my mind. What do I do?

The other thread we all remember (someone had probably already linked it)

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5105334-to-object-to-the-funeral-parlour-unloading-body-bags-at-the-end-of-my-street

I'm not arguing with you.

What's your point?

The one PP showed was transparent and not at all the bag the public would see. It was scaremongering and pathetic

Im not being funny but this is the second post I am sure I read on here about a year ago. I remember this one because I always think about it when I pass a funeral directors situated near houses.

I never claimed anything.

Someone asked what a body bag was and I googled and found one.

Pardon me for trying to be helpful.🙄

🙄 it was quite obviously a rhetorical question.

Whats the difference between seeing a body in a body bag vs a coffin? Ie nothing, they are both covered and completely obscure the body, but they both still carry a body.

You shared a link to a body bag that would not even be used to transport a body, claiming what difference does the colour make. Well a significant difference as transparent coverings are not used in this circumstance.

I wouldn’t object to funeral directors unloading on my street, everybody dies.
I would be concerned if the bodies were being left unsupervised with the door to the van open enabling people to see in.
It doesn’t seem careful or professional somehow.
If it was visible whilst they were actively unloading, it is what it is. It’s not like they can unload the van by pulling a lever and the bodies drop into a chute is it?

I've read this post before. At least come up with something original

Just add certain religions don't use a coffin but a shroud. Is that disrespectful? Or triggering to mourners?

Is it admin recycling posts?

My kids at that age would have been fascinated.

If you know so much about it why didn't you respond to the OP's question?

And as for it being a "rhetorical question" (as opposed to a non-rehetorical one) do you even know what that is? And how do posters deduce which is which?

There’s definitely something about what we become used to. If it’s something you haven’t seen before, you think it’s something you shouldn’t have to see. Then you get older and have seen coffins in churches, in cars, at the crem, the hole and heap in the graveyard... all are normalised over time.

Over time you’ll not give it a second thought, op.
The spookiest sight I’ve ever seen was the horse drawn hearse outside a very old church. Black horses with plumes on their heads. Black carriage. All very gothic.

I agree, my youngest wanted to dig up the deceased guinea pig, as he wanted to study what it looked like! He was 6. I had to remove the spade from him as he was fully equipped to carry out the exhumation. I think we forget that natural curiosity often prevails.

It doesn't sound like they're doing anything improper. It sounds like you've assumed a lot about how they run their business. If I was icked by death, I think I would have checked what the setup is before I moved to the house.

I was the poster who asked and it was indeed a rhetorical question. Why are people comfortable with the sight of coffins but not body bags, what’s the difference. The OP later explained that she could see the shape of the head and feet, so perhaps a little more confronting than a coffin. I’m surprised the shape of a dead person is so troubling, given they are exactly the same shape as a live person.

The saddest sight is a tiny coffin.

Respect for the dead 🤔 the dead are dead so not affected either way, it's the living that need to be respected. As part of my work I spend a lot of time in cemeteries, I sometimes knock against a grave shoulder in the ground with my foot or have to briefly move flowers is that considered disrespectful?

A lot of commenters seem to think you’re being too sensitive. Baffling really because it’s dead bodies, of course you’re sensitive and it’s made you uncomfortable. If I was their relative, I wouldn’t want them transferred in full view of the public. Definitely go in and speak to them.

This. Ridiculous post and YABU.

Death is part of life.
You live near the funeral directors.
I'd surely imagine you would have expected this scenario at some point?

Dead bodies are a totally normal part of life - the squeamishness around death in this country is just so bizarre.

How would you expect them to remove the bodies?

Until the family choose and pay for a coffin (that they choose) they are respectfully transported in (for want for a better word) a body bag on a trolley. All the funeral directors are incredibly respectful and will not be bundling them out, they are dressed in respectful attire and it is dignified.

I probably wouldn't move near to a funeral home if this is something that doesnt sit right with you.

OMG this is nearly exactly the same problem. This wasn’t me, but sounds the same scenario. I wonder if it was the lady who owned the house before me? If not that is a weird coincidence! Will read that thread (I’m not worried about rats and seagulls though). Thanks for finding it.

You ARE being VERY unreasonable.

Death comes to all of us, sooner or later, including you and your kids.

You choose to live in a place that's so close to a funeral home.

Of course they keep bodies in there, and have to have bodies entered/exited to the home and hearses, etc. The same thing will happen to you when you die.

DON'T speak to them about it, it seems like they're doing their job by wrapping bodies in bags and so on.

You're another case of being a snowflake/hypersensitive. Like some people are trainee criminologists, but then they moan because they have to look at dead bodies.

You could say the same for 100's of posts on MN - just written in a different way with detail changes.
For what it's worth there is a thread in similar threads botton of page that was from a couple of years ago.
More than one poster will live near a funeral palour and would have been ithis situation with their kids it's not exactly click bait or that unusual🙄