Hens still havent paid me back?

[MyPurpleHeart]

I'm going away on a hen trip for my cousins wedding. When we booked it I paid for the brides share up front with the agreement the hens would pay me their share back. This was 6 months ago. We are a month out and despite me asking a few times, none of the hens have paid me yet. AIBU to ask for this to be paid within the next week? I have expenses for the trip which I was planning to cover with this that I cant yet. For context its around £400

Name and shame them if they don't pay. Say "thanks to Oliva, Chloe and Jess for their payments - still outstanding from Lauren, Emily and blah blah blah".

It would be bonkers for me because that's a lot for a holiday for me but presumably this is a group of people who agreed to pay that much so for them it's presumably a reasonable amount (or else they'd have said no).

I'm always surprised at people on Mumsnet who can't do a family holiday in the sun for less than £3000 but presumably for them that's a normal amount so I wouldn't say they've got more money than sense, they just spend differently to me.

This. Make sure to mention it's £400 in total. They may be thinking they'll just buy you a drink instead.

Give them a deadline for which to pay it and in the future - always an agree a payment deadline up front.

This

on here this week is the only time I’ve come across the practice of covering the brides share. I think it’s ridiculous and brides who accept are frankly CFs!

YABU for not asking for the money prior to booking the hen do and paying for the bride in full and telling others to pay you back after booking. That’s your mistake really as you should never pay for others before receiving the money in advance especially if you cannot afford to lose the money. A lot of us have been there so it’s been and done now but don’t do it again.

YANBU for feeling frustrated that no one has paid you back yet. Give it until the end of the week and send a blunt but honest message to the hens “Hi ladies, I still have not received payment of 15 of you for the share of the hen. I don’t want to sound like a nag but I really need this money, it’s £20 each which might not sound a lot but when it’s £20 x 15 it is a big sum. Please send money in the next 24 hours”

Or a “thank you for the hens that have paid the money this week, I am still missing the money off 15 of you. Please make payment by the end of the week as I now really need this money and £
15 x £20 is a big sum”

I agree, name and shame them! Thank the ones who have paid. Make sure you make it clear that collectively, you’re £400 out of pocket. Cheeky fuckers.

They're hanging back until the last minute for paying. Have you given them a firm deadline?
If not, do so now and make it a few days before the actual deadline. There may well still be stragglers.

How adults can behave like this is beyond me. Next time, no one will take the responsibility for organising a group event!! Very Sad.

This happened with one of my friends hen dos. We agreed to split her share but then as extras were added it just got too much, the bridesmaids spoke to her and she was more than happy to pay her share of everything. In the end she only needed to pay her share of the accommodation.

Maybe message as above to say if not paid by X date I will have to ask for payment from the bride.

You need to message people directly and/or name and shame in the GC. I am also organising my cousin’s hen and it’s a bloody nightmare - 17 people!!! I had to take out an interest free credit card to front the big house we are staying in. Thankfully all have paid me back.

You also have the option of asking you cousin to ask her friends

Completely off topic, but every time I see the title of this thread it makes me think of my neighbour who used to say 'there's never been a hen yet that didn't die in debt'.

She kept chickens. It was supposed to be a business, but was never really economically viable...

This thread is apparently NOT about the cost of chicken keeping…. 😂

Technically it's your cousin who owes you. She, presumably, also decided who was invited to her hen do, so get your cousin to speak to them and request they pay you back her share.
I wouldn't dream of having family or friends chasing freebies for me, it annoys me in general the way some brides behave as though they're an honorary princess for the duration.

If they each think that they owe 20 and might be able to get away without paying it, you should make it clear to them that they total you are out of pocket is 400 and you desperately need that money. perhaps check if there is an error in the bank details if nobody has paid.

this happened to my db. Paid for a stag activity, no one paid him back ever. He was younger and didn’t want to rock the boat asking. So he lost all the money.

Your chances of getting money from 20+ people are not high, I'm sorry to say. You might get 10 who pay.

Oh I would not have let this go this far. I would be shaming them all with a passive aggressive message with my bank details saying:

Hi ladies!

I have asked a few times but none of you have sent me your share of INSERT BRIDES NAME costs for her hen do.

I am relying on this money for my trip expenses. Please can you send it to the bank details below by this Friday, as I would hate for INSERT BRIDES NAME to have to cover her costs (less my share which I am happy to pay), but I cannot afford to cover for all of your shares.

Thanks Ladies!

Yep. You don't need to make up some daft excuse for asking people to repay you when you're £400 out of pocket!!

I would do a list of everyone’s names and a tick next to who has paid. Include your bank details again on the message.

I thought this post was going to be about an investment in chickens that weren't laying eggs.

True, but this is part of the problem, isn't it? People can't assert themselves, so they lie.

If they can't afford £20 the time to say that was six months ago.

I came on to say this.
Hi hens
I've forked out £400 and unless I get out back i won't be able to go on the trip

Right, we’re one month away…Money still outstanding from

Lucy £75
Jo £75
Kelly £75
Gemma £75
Suzie £75

Third time of asking. Once this paid, I’ll share the finer details.